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Do you hold onto anger?
Do you hold grudges?
Do you go years or decades without talking to people?
I don’t do any of the above, I do get anger and pissed off
with people at times but I am one of those strange people who can flare up yell
and rant and rave and when I have said
my piece I am over it, yes I am over it that fast………………..
Maybe if when you are holding onto your anger you should
think to yourself if the person you are mad with, not talking to was die
tomorrow how would you feel. If you really didn’t get the chance to see them or
hear their voice ever again how would you really feel, and I mean really feel
it is easy to say I would care, it wouldn’t bother me but for most people that
isn’t the case. In fact most people really think there will always be a chance
to make amends, to patch things up often someone thinks if they say “sorry”
that it makes them less of a person……………..
How often have you said “I’m not going to say sorry” or “I’m
not going to make the first move” they started it they have to come to me. I know
it is easy to feel that way and yes I do think there are some things that feel
unforgivable but often if the person was to say sorry I didn’t mean to hurt
you, you may find it in yourself to forgive them anyway……………….
Many years ago my father in-law told my husband to “F” off
then said “you’re not my son” and you know we haven’t spoken to him since, if he
was to say sorry to Tim then maybe we could try and make amends but he refuse
to acknowledge that he said those words to Tim and has called Tim an ungrateful
sod………………….
Tomorrow is my sister Sue’s birthday and I will do a post
about her tomorrow but I have been trying to contact her to find out when she
would like to catch up and for me to be able to give her, her birthday present
but she isn’t returning my text messages or answering her phone when I ring. So
is she holding onto her anger at me, and if you don’t know what I did to piss
her off I wrote this post
http://jo-annemotherandnanna.blogspot.com.au/2012/10/respect-your-parents-if-they-are-great.html
There's a difference in holding a grudge and pretending like nothing was even said. I think instead of texting mum and calling her saying when can I see you to give you your present blah blah blah you should try talking about what happened and what was said instead of avoiding it all together nothing is wrong and she should just "get over it"
ReplyDeleteIt seems like the hole when can we catch up to give you your present is like bribing her to get over it faster.
You say talk about what happened but she isn't taking my calls, and I know your mum she will get over it when she is good and ready, but mum will never over it because she is so deeply hurt...................
DeleteIf I hadn't moved on I wouldn't be wanting to see her at all, I was reaching out and not bringing up what happened I have said my piece about that...............it's done...............
I am not trying to bribe her, she knows I have her present for ages I wanted her to know that, I haven't forgotten her birthday
Yes your right mum will mostly get over in her own time we all do. And I can just imagine how hurt nana is but mums hurt to. I think and I tried to tell mum that they needed to talk about things mum should've spoken to nana about how she was feeling and then maybe things wouldn't have gotten so out of hand and both nana and mum wouldn't have gotten so hurt. But like I said no one noes why mum got so upset and mad because no one noes how she's feeling (or felt) I don't no what to say but I'm a big believer in talking about things and working shit out before it can get bad.
ReplyDeleteMaybe mum and nan just need some time and hopefully one day soon they can talk and hopefully not just forget about it all. I really hate throwing in my 2cents when it's not really my business lol
I want you to no that I'm not getting mad or anything I just want you to no that mums hurt too but I shouldn't of expected you to just no.
Life is too short to hold onto anger and grudges. I am like you and let it go. I hope things work out soon with your sister and Tim with his dad.
ReplyDeleteI am sure in the long run me and Sue will be fine, Tim and his dad well they I doubt will ever be fine
DeleteWe are a family that rant, rave and then forget. My husbands family are ones where they rant, rave and go weeks, months and even years not talking, when they do again its like nothing happened. When they fall out again all the past and present are bought into that argument again.
ReplyDeleteYou husbands family sounds like my brother in-law family and I just don't get families like that......
DeleteI rarely get angry. I can't remember ever flaring up as I tend to over-think everything before acting out on something. With that being said, I have never NOT talked to someone for an extended period of time. I have, however, made the decision to keep my distance from people that repeatedly hurt me. I speak to those people, I don't avoid them but I don't seek them out to do things together, either. Yes, that is holding a grudge of sorts but some people are like oil and water. They just don't mix.
ReplyDeleteMy father-in-law (now deceased) was always telling people that his son could of married better. He couldn't even remember our children's names. Considering they were his only 2 grandkids it shouldn't of been hard. I spoke to him, tried to be civil, was grateful to him for "making" my wonderful husband and tried to keep my distance.
I kept my distance from my husbands family because I always got the impression they didn't like me, I always felt they thought that I thought I was to good for them and you know in some ways I did..........lol
Deletei'm really bad about holding on to things if you hurt me once I have a hard time letting go hurt me twice and you no longer in my circle. I have serious trust issues so if those are ever broken forget get it
ReplyDeleteI have trust issues too, in that I don't trust people I often keep them at arms length because I am afraid they will hurt me.....
DeleteHolding on to anger, Jumping to conclusions, Leaps of faith, carrying grudges, throwing fits, raising my voice are all parts of my daily workout routine
ReplyDelete