Monday 10 November 2008

My Life

Lately everything seems to causing me stress I am so tense all the time, I am worried about Kelli as she has been sick lately and in a lot of pain and the Dr doesn't know why,bloody doctors. She tells me not to worry but that is easier said then done.

I am tired of hearing my girls complain about stuff sometimes I think they just like to complain. I can't fix everything but they act like they want me to and it is annoying as they are all grown women now. Two of them are mothers themselves but still they want me to do a bloody lot for them. One of them will complain about stuff she could do herself but chooses not to.

They all complain about having no money well guess what I also have no money and if anyone tells me to get a job I will scream as I am married to a man who has a good job and can afford to support me, also with the way the country is now I don't think people who don't need to work should as there is not enough jobs to go around.

I am sick to death feeling like a fat cow and I know I am not that fat but it still doesn't change the way I feel it really sucks. I do walk and I do not eat a lot of junk food but still I can't lose weight or slim down a bit.

Jessica is always complain she can't cope with Leo but gets pissed off with me when I try to offer advice about how to cope with Leo. She likes to say that she can't learn and doesn't know how to learn and I just want to scream.

Tim is still drinking but seems ok but he is still annoying when he is drunk like all drunks of course. I love him but it is still frustrating.

How am I suppose to cope with all this stress everyone wanting me and not feeling like I am not doing enough for them. I try and try but still I feel like a failure at times.

I know it is normal for people to take their anger out on whoever is around but why does it often feel like that person is me.

I wish at times I could just stop eating and do nothing but walk and walk and walk to be fit healthy and slim.

I hate feeling tired all the bloody time and listening to my girls and husband say things like you are always sleeping in that voice that really upsets me like it is something I like doing just for the fun of it.

I know life is not meant to be easy but does it have to be this bloody hard.

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