Thursday 30 June 2022



Pain Of A Broken Heart


Published: December 2007

Tears of blood fall from my broken heart.
I never thought we would be apart.

When you held me, you said "forever."
Now that you're gone, I know you meant "never."

Saying you love me with that look in your eye,
And that was a cold-hearted lie.

Your tender touch, a soft kiss,
Two things about you I will miss.

As I sit here thinking about you,
My face is wet with tears past due.

I should've cried a long time ago,
But I loved you so.

I know they say love is blind,
But I had only you on my mind.

A hurt so deep it cuts like a knife,
But wounds heal and I'll go on with my life.


Tuesday 28 June 2022




Gpod morning everyone, yes it is morning here but maybe not there were you are. Today's giant of the past is the Marsupial Lion, this lion use to roam Australia way back when, like thousands of years ago.

It was the size of a leopard, with fierce sharp claws and teeth designed to slice through flesh and bone. It was our most powerful predator.

The marsupial lion was between the size of a jaguar and lioness, growing to be about 5 feet long from nose to tail, 2.5 feet tall (75 cm) at the shoulder, and an estimated average of 100 to 130 kg (220 lb to 285lb.

Monday 27 June 2022



Hello Monday, hope you are a good one,it is time for some facts.

The vibration of shell-like rings on the end of a rattlesnake's tail make the rattling sound. The rattle is made up of dry hard pieces of skin. As the snake grows the number of rings increases, so the louder the rattle, the bigger the snake.

Once those who lived in the desert would use sand to clean dirty dishes.

The 7-ton Stegosaurus had a 2-ounce brain

A snail can sleep for 3 years.

There are 8 peas in the average pod.

Sunday 26 June 2022

WEEK 25 OF 2022


Another mostly good night and a struggle when I got up, Tim helped me a bit.

Still a lot of knee pain but Leo is a big help. Not up to doing much at all, including getting myself food.

Kelli arrived around 2pm to settle me down for the night, damn I am glad to see her.

Had a rough start to the night but managed to settle after a bit and had a good night in the end.

Rang Tasha at 5am just to see if she was home yet, she came down in a mood and got my breakfast. Kathy came in and helped me dress before heading home.

I understand that she must feel that she isn't home 1 minute when I am needing her help.

Didn't take Leo up the front as it is too wet.

Been a so so day with pain and struggle.

Had a somewhat restless night but I got through it somehow, woke at 4.45 and up at 5am. Struggled to get dressed but did it with tears.

My knee is still bad but I managed to do a few little things before the pain got too bad.

I need to take more care bringing the scooter inside as yet again I nearly tumbled of the ramp.

Had a good night woke at 4.15 to pee but wasn't able to settle again so up at 4.45. Another cold day.

Took some Celecoxib (anti-inflammatory) for my knee and it has helped.

Sandy came over to pick up some forms we printed for her and it was great seeing her.

Had a good night and woke with very little pain, I am also wearing nice earrings since I am going to see the neurologist.

Sydney-May came home from camp sick with RSV so is off school I expect until Monday. Kathy said she is pretty sick.

Had a good trip to Sydney and home again. We took the wheelchair this time instead of the scooter. Which was better.

The visit went better then expected. She said I have a Dystonic tremor and has prescribed some tablets to try and if they don't work maybe botox injection into my neck may help. She couldn't say why I have no strength or why I feel like my feet are clued to the ground when I try to walk.

Had a good nights sleep it took a bit to settle last night but when I did I slept till 3.45am when then till 5.15 when I got up. I am feeling not the best.

I have improved through the day not feel too bad at the moment.

At 11.30 a bloke arrived and removed the two cupboard damaged when the tree came though the roof.

Jess suppose to get me ready for bed but forgot about me and just left for work. I will get myself ready for bed, this I can do slowly and often with pain but I can do it. Leo will help me into bed.

Saturday again and Tim is working today as they are short staffed. I just realised yesterday was my niece Freya's 4th birthday silly me forgot. Also today is Micheal's birthday, I sent him a text wishing happy birthday, only to realise I was a month early, silly me.

A good day pain wise, Leo here all day supporting me.

I have to get myself ready for bed but Leo will help me into bed

Tuesday 21 June 2022



Tuesday has arrived and I am still here, struggling through each day. The next few Tuesdays will see me tell you a little about some giants of the past. Let's start with the Thunderbird.........

Imagine a bird taller than an emu and five times as heavy, this flightless bird would sound like thunder thumping through the bush. It had big, powerful legs with enormous claws, it also had a big strong beak, which it used to eat nuts, fruits and maybe small animals.

Monday 20 June 2022


 Hello Monday, what type of day will you be.............

Well it is fact day so here you are............

There was once a law making it illegal to have a pet in Iceland

The snail mates only once in its lifetime

Scorpions can withstand 200 times more nuclear radiation than humans can.

In Japan watermelons can be grown square, they are very expensive

US presidents John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both died on the 4th July 1826, 50 years to the day they signed Declaration of Independence.

Sunday 19 June 2022

WEEK 24 OF 2022

 Tim back at work today after over a week off, hope all goes well for him.

Leo turned up at 10ish so I was able to sit in my armchair with the knowledge that he was here to help.

Wrote one letter but decorated a small pile of envelopes ready for letters.

It's a public holiday this Monday to celebrate the Queen's birthday,so no school today.

I managed to drag the quilt of of the washing machine and put in the dryer, also managed to get the sheets out of the washing machine. I got the quilt out and sheets into the dryer.

I also managed to empty the bins but can't get outside to place in those bins.

I started to place photo albums and some books into a storage container as I am sick of asking for someone to do it.

Tasha brought me some cupcakes chocolate and lemon meringue. Had the chocolate one and it was yummy.

Had a shit night very restless and shaking had to get up and take something to help me settle.

I had a spat with Tasha over my appointment to have the ultrasound. Tim drove me to the appointment.

I went with Tasha to the chemist to get cold tablets, this involved me walking without my walker. Tasha said I looked terrified.

Had a better night last night still up at 5.05am, washed and ready for the day. It is only 7 degrees and I have been sweating.

A reasonable day spent doing bugga all but managed to drag myself out of my armchair until 1.30pm when doing so hurt my left arm.

Been awake since 3am and up since 4.20am due to pain in my arms and shaking all over. When I laid on either side my arm would start to hurt, laying on my back caused my legs to shake. So a rough start to the day.

It has been a rough day, Tasha has gone away on her own for a few days,so I will have to manage on my own.

Jess getting me dressed for bed and Leo will put me into bed. I hope I sleep better tonight.

Slept better had to have something to help settled at 11.30pm which worked, I went back to sleep pretty quick. No fruit this morning as I am in no condition to divide it up.

Had another hard day with horrible stinging pain in my left knee.

Leo helping me into bed again today.

Had another pretty good night waking only twice. However, this morning I was crying in the bathroom due to pain and shaking and feeling useless. Tim heard me and came to help, he also made my breakfast,while I stood around crying.

Been a rough day had a lot of stinging pain in my knee again.

Tim acts as if I am a bloody lot of hard work and often talks to me in nasty degrading way, I don't think he knows he is doing it.

Wednesday 15 June 2022




Published: February 2006

When I scratched my knee,
Or if I bumped my head,
When I was afraid of the dark,
Or that thing under my bed,
When I cried in the night,
Or even in the day,
You were there for me
To make it all okay.

You tickled my feet
And laughed at all my jokes.
You taught me to believe
In having high hopes.
You are my father.
You did what you had to do,
But more than a father
You are my friend, too.
You made everything good
That was once bad.
I just want you to know
I love you, Dad.


Tuesday 14 June 2022


Well it is Tuesday yet again and today let's look at the Cuvier's Beaked Whale.

The Cuvier's beaked whale or goose-beaked whale is the most widely distributed of all beaked whales in the family Ziphiidae. It is smaller than most baleen whales yet large among beaked whales. Cuvier's beaked whale is pelagic, inhabiting waters deeper than 1,000 feet.

Scientists have recorded them diving to a depth of nearly 3 kilometres and staying underwater for 2hrs and 17 minutes, which is the deepest and longest dive recorded for any mammal in the world.

Cuvier's beaked whales can reach lengths of about 15 to 23 feet and weigh 4,000 to 6,800 pounds. There is no significant sexual dimorphism in regards to body size for this species. Cuvier's beaked whale is medium-sized with a round and robust body and a triangular falcate dorsal fin located far down the animal's back.

Monday 13 June 2022


Hello everyone on this Monday morning, and being Monday means it is fact day.

The highest cliffs in the world are in Hawaii, they rise just over 1,000 metres or 3,281 feet from the sea. If you threw a stone from the top it would take about 15 seconds before you hear the splash.

A company in Taiwan used to make dinnerware of of wheat

A “walla-walla” scene in a film is one where the people in crowd scenes pretend to be talking in the background. When they are saying “walla-walla” it looks like they are talking.

Armoured knights used to raise their visors to identify themselves to the king when they rode past. This custom became the modern salute.

Leonardo da vinci invented scissors.

Sunday 12 June 2022

WEEK 23 OF 2022

 Had a bloody good nights sleep woke at 5.55am to a bloody cold morning.

Tim slept on his armchair as he wanted to see if it was better for his back. He moved to the bed at 6.40am when I turned the light on to have breaky.

The bathroom sink is leaking underneath but neither Tim or I can find from where.

Last night when it was time for me to get ready for bed Tim didn't want to do it he felt he had been doing all week and needed a break. So I asked Jess who wanted to know why he couldn't do it as he is my husband, she did come and help but was pissed with Tim over his attitude. Is it any wonder I feel like a burden.

Kelli isn't able to come today so Tasha said she will put me to bed.


Had a restless night waking up a number of times but going back to sleep pretty quick.

There is a strong wind and I can hear the tarp flapping and it sounds like a tile threw off the roof. Tim will need to check outside when he gets up.

Also we have no hot water,it's just warm, so I reported it to DoH.

At around 12.45 Tasha arrived in a mood her mobile wasn't working so she had to log into the WiFi and ring that way. Turns out they are doing work and the service will be out till 8pm.

So we are running low on a heap of stuff, someone was suppose to go shopping on Saturday or Sunday then it was going Monday now it is going to be Tuesday.

Woke at 4.30 and was unable to settle again due to how much I was shaking. So I got up at 5.20 had a wash and dressed, even found my long sleeve singlets I have 2 so I could wear one.

Sandy came over to pick something up and it was great seeing her.

The plumber arrived around 1.45pm took only 10 minutes to fix the problem. We should have hot water in the morning.

When leaving the plumber's assistant was driving and kangaroo the truck or as Jess says he bunny hoped thee truck.

Woke up at 5.50am and rang Tasha straight and she came straight down.

We still have no hot water. So Tim rang and let the DoH know, the plumber should be here today.

Bloody cold today and Leo says he hates the cold.

The OT and a builder from the DoH came to check out the house for the modifications to the bathroom and the new front ramp. I don't know when these modifications will happen as yet.

Still no hot water, the plumber didn't turn up yesterday, so this morning I boiled the jug and added the water to the bathroom sink in order to have a wash.

I meet Tim 39yrs ago today.

The plumber came it is a problem for the electrician.

The electrician arrived at midday and of course he turned the power off, right as I am expecting the Dr to ring, he rang Tasha's phone not mine but it is all good.

Kelli called in to print a speech that Daemon has to give at school. She also got me ready for bed.

Hot water at last so I was able to have a nice hot wash before getting dressed. I had upsetting dreams about Tasha leaving me.

Someone from Coles insurance came and took photos of the damage. We found some brand new Christmas decorations that for the most part are ok.

Jess didn't come to see if I needed any help before she left for work, I expect she thinks her dad is here so why bother.

A new day saw me sleep in till 5.40am being Saturday means it is fend for myself morning.

The shopping contained a couple of items I didn't order.

Kathy said she is sick so I told her not to worry about coming over but she turned up at 1pm. She gave me a shower.

Tasha did some shopping and Tim divided up the fruit into 5 containers.

Wednesday 8 June 2022



mart Phone - Dumb User

Rick W. Cotton©  More By Rick W. Cotton

Published: December 2017

My new phone is "smart." I guess that I'm not.
Amazing what all this here smart phone has got.
TV and Weather and Internet, too.
There's just no limits to what it can do.
Check my blood pressure and my temperature
Without even probing all my apertures.
I now know the time in Paris or Greece.
I can track the migration of thousands of geese
Or find Chinese food; it's here on this map.
Oops, my finger just slipped, now where was that at?
A camera...a CAMERA! Now I can take shots
Of everyone I know (who'd rather I not).
Push this here button and take me a "selfie."
(If it had a nose would this thing take a "smellfie"?)
Email to pester with, video to shoot,
Maps to drive 'round with, wow that's a hoot!
A compass to guide me home if I'm lost.
Thank God work paid for this thing (what it COSTS!).
The things that it does would amaze Mr. Bell.
What he would have thought of it, no one can tell,
But one question's still stuck in my middle-aged craw.
Despite all the gizmos that strike me with awe,
They're fun and they're useful and "techy" and all
...But how do I just simply make a phone call?


Tuesday 7 June 2022


 Recently I read/listened to the book Sandakan by Paul Ham, it was a hard book to hear as it is about the Sandakan death marches in Borneo during the second world war. 

It tells in detail about the conditions in the camp and the treatment by the guards, as in how cruel and barbaric the Japanese  were.

The Sandakan Death Marches were a series of forced marches in Borneo from Sandakan to Ranau which resulted in the deaths of 2,434 Allied prisoners of war held captive by the Empire of Japan during the Pacific campaign of World War II at the Sandakan POW Camp, North Borneo.

By March 1945 the first of the prisoners forced to march through the Borneo jungle from Sandakan had reached Ranau. Every day more sick and starving prisoners died. 

Only six survivors of the more than 2,270 prisoners of war who were alive at the infamous Sandakan labour camp at the beginning of 1945. Before that, an estimated 151 had already died of disease and maltreatment. 

The majority of the prisoners were Australian, the rest were British, with 1787 Aussies and 642 Pommies.

Monday 6 June 2022



Good morning, if it is morning where you are if not good afternoon or good evening.............

Here are some facts.............

Humans and regrow outer skin cells about every 27 days, which is almost 1,000 new skins in a lifetime.

The feet account for one quarter of all human bones

Women's hearts beat faster than men's

A “clue” originally meant a ball of thread, which is why you “unravel” a mystery.

A frightened squid will squirt a kind of ink into the water surrounding it, the ink spreads out in a black cloud and hides the squid so it can make its escape.

Fact... Kelli is amazing

Sunday 5 June 2022

WEEK 22 OF 2022

I AM BACK.........

It is Sunday again and still no internet, going to be another hard day.

Had a moment when I was unable to get out of my chair and Tasha wasn't able to help. She rang Blain who rang Jess who sent Leo to check on me. During this Kathy rang and I was sobbing.

Kathy & Summer came over and vacuumed out for me. Summer is feeling a bit better but is still not good.

Tasha came down and cut up my pie for lunch.

Kelli here to put me to bed along with her kids and Issy (niece)

Monday has arrived again, another cold & wet day. So cold I have the heater on.

Tim up at 4.20 for work he doesn't like such early starts.

Kelli visited today again, she is the best. I love her so much.

At around 6ish tonight I was laying in bed listening to music when I heard an a bloody loud noise like an expolsion and I struggled out of bed to find a large branch from the neighbours tree in our roof, part of the tree was on the roof.

Tim rang the DoH who told him to ring 000 and they sent the SES who came and told us it was unsafe and we couldn't stay in the house. So one will go to Jess and the other to Tasha's.

Well last night was a shit night,Jess tried to get us emergency housing but we got messed around so I ended up in Leo's bed and Tim stayed at Tasha's. It was a rough night for both of us.

Barry Gold from the DoH arrived and checked the house and arranged for someone to remove the tree and cover the roof with a tarp. He also put us in touch with a woman who has arranged for us to have 2 nights accommodation at a motel in Belmont 20 minutes from home.

Spent all day at Jess's place bored with nothing to do,even thou I asked for someone to bring me my laptop.

Sandy came over to check on me and it was great seeing her and getting big hugs.

Around 1pm we went to the motel it is a basic room but it is only 2 nights and at lest I have my laptop and a TV to watch.

Had a good night managed to sleep expect being so exhausted helped. I have been up since 5.30am and had a mini muffin and banana bread warmed in the microwave not good but edible.

Tim has gone back to the house while I hang around the motel room.

I am having a bad day a lot of crying and frustrating can't sit comfortably, no back support which is causing a shit load of pain.

Jess is pissed that I have been stuck here in the motel alone all day, due to how much pain I am in. She has said after her last drop off this afternoon she will call in to see me.

Had a good night sleep, yesterday Tim brought my fold up blue chair which at least has better back support.

Damn it is cold today.

The wheel on the wheelchair is broken so Tim rang someone to find out about replacing the tyres they gave him another number to ring, the guy is local and charges $25 for each wheel. He can do it on Saturday.

At around 10ish Jess rang and asked if we could go get Leo from school as he was having a bad day.

While at home Tash gave me a shower using Jess's shower.

We have had the tyres on the wheelchair replaced cost us $80 for both.

We are going home tomorrow, thank goodness.

Another decent nights sleep but I woke up depressed/sad due to upsetting dreams.

Even though I showered yesterday I stink.

Home to a right mess to clean up and a new modem to install. Which we did and now I am back online. Had 1,572 unread emails which I deleted.

It is good to be home even if it is a right mess.

Tim saw the Dr about his back who sent him for an Xray.

Felt good to sleep in my own bed, slept right through the night till 4.30am, after peeing I went back to bed for another hour. So up at 5.40am,was able to have a good wash and apply deodorant and moisturise my face.

Kathy and the girls arrived around 10.30ish and vacuumed out but didn't empty the bins.

I gave the girls the memory books I did for them and they seemed to like them. Straight away they went through the book comparing photos in there books.

Friday 3 June 2022



Had a very good nights sleep awake and up at 5.10am for another day of struggle.

Tasha came down going off because Tim didn't put Jess's new bed together but I told her that he was doing what Jess said. She told him not to put it together till she said so as she needed to sort out her room.

Micheal called in to pick up my ironing board and iron, Kathy wants to borrow them.

Kelli here to put me to bed and it is great seeing her and she is such a big help.

A new day has arrived after a decent sleep, I feel awake and with it.

A cold start to the day but I am still sweating.

Tim back on afternoons which he likes.

Dave turned up around 12.45 to drop something off on his lunch break, it was great seeing him.

Wake at 4am to pee then back to bed to lay pretty much awake till 5am when I got up to start the day.

Tim is on late start today not leaving here till 1.45pm.

The pain in my left arm has settled down while the pain in my left knee is now bad. I can't win.

I woke at 3am to pee and found Tim asleep on the lounge, so I woke him and told him to come to bed. I don't get falling asleep watching telly.

This morning I had trouble with my left hearing aid it wouldn't hold together took a while to get it to stay in my ear without the back/battery bit falling off.

I set fire to the bathroom, it must have been me as no one else awake to do so, when I am tense or stressed I burn some incense and even though I throw the stick in the sink and run water over it part of it must have fallen into the clothes basket we have for towels.

I was sitting here reading blogs and the smoke alarm went off so I walk down the hall to check and could see the flames under the bathroom door.

I yelled for Tim who jumped out of bed and managed to get it out with minimal damage. Tasha will clean up the mess.

I feel like shit.............

After sorting out the bathroom I return to computer to find I have no internet. Tim rang Telstra we need a new modem so I am off line till that happens.

Had a restless night but not to bad at the same time, woke at 4.50am feeling refreshed although I nearly ended up on the floor trying to get out of bed. Tried using my phones data to get online and yeah it worked but Coles would not load to gave up.

Just read that my penfriend Cassa has passed away, she is the penpal who had a heart attack.

Jessica is working all night doing traffic control work so is sleeping today.

A new day has arrived and this morning I woke to find myself in bed alone. Tim I found asleep in his arm chair.

A wet start to the day.

Tim rang Telstra as we got a sms saying to ring them turns out the woman we spoke to on Wednesday gave us the wrong information it now seems that there is a problem their end and that takes 2-3 working days to fix. If after that we still can't get online we will get another modem.

Wet all day more or less also bloody cold.

Had a call from Psych2U about my referral to see a psychiatrist, Tasha talk to them as I wasn't with it. They told her a rebate of $230. However I told Tasha that I should get 20 free visits with my mental heath care plan so Tim will ring them on Monday and sort it out.

I knew it cost around that as Mum had to pay $600 when Dawson was seeing a psychiatrist.

Had a decent night woke a few times but settled down again till 4am when I found myself unable to settle so at 5.05am I got up.

Tim was asleep on the lounge but shortly woke and went to bed for a few hours.

Another cold and wet day.

Tim did the grocery shopping which is good but he didn't pay close attention to the note I did for him.

Kathy showered me and then she cleaned the bathroom, it looks a lot better. She was annoyed that I hadn't had a shower since last Saturday. I do have a wash each morning.

Wednesday 1 June 2022



At around 6ish tonight I was laying in bed listening to music when I heard an a bloody loud noise like an explosion and I struggled out of bed to find a large branch from the neighbours tree in our roof, part of the tree was on the roof.

Tim rang the DoH who told him to ring 000 and they sent the SES who came and told us it was unsafe and we couldn't stay in the house. So one will go to Jess and the other to Tasha's.

Well last night was a shit night, Jess tried to get us emergency housing but we got messed around so I ended up in Leo's bed and Tim stayed at Tasha's. It was a rough night for both of us.

Barry Gold from the DoH arrived and checked the house and arranged for someone to remove the tree and cover the roof with a tarp. He also put us in touch with a woman who has arranged for us to have 2 nights accommodation at a motel in Belmont 20 minutes from home.

Spent all day at Jess's place bored with nothing to do, even thou I asked for someone to bring me my laptop.

Sandy came over to check on me and it was great seeing her and getting big hugs.

Around 1pm we went to the motel it is a basic room but it is only 2 nights and at lest I have my laptop and a TV to watch.

BPD & Physical Symptoms

  This week I am wrapping up at least for now my posts on borderline personality disorder or BPD, I will end this by sharing a few other phy...