Thursday 31 March 2022



Never Unsaid

©  More By Valerie Capasso

Published: June 2007

I never want this to go unsaid,
So here in this poem is for it to be said.
There are no words to express how much you mean to me,
A son like you, I thought could never be.
Because the day you were born, I just knew,
God sent me a blessing - and that was you.
For this I thank Him every day.
You are the true definition of a son, in every way.
It is because of you that my life has meaning.
Becoming a mom has shown me a new sense of being.
I want you to know that you were the purpose of my life,
Out of everything I did, it was you that I did right.
Always remember that I know how much you care,
I can tell by the relationship that we share.
For a son like you there could be no other,
And whether we are together or apart,
Please do not ever forget,
You will always have a piece of my heart.


Tuesday 29 March 2022



Good morning all, another day has arrived today is extreme creature day and today's creature is the Bluestriped Fangblenny whatever that is. Ok it's a fish.

This fish is a master of disguised it can change colour to look like other fish, it can change into many different colours depending on which school of fish it wants to blend in with.

Plagiotremus rhinorhynchos, commonly called the bluestriped fangblenny, is a species of combtooth blenny found in coral reefs in the Pacific and Indian ocean. This species reaches a length of 12 centimetres.

It is not usually aggressive unless the tank mates appear to have a similar shape as it does. Its fangs are more of a defense mechanism used for biting an aggressive fish back. The Striped Blenny diet consists of chopped crustaceans, vitamin-enriched brine shrimp, and frozen food preparations for herbivores.

Monday 28 March 2022



Hello world let's hope this week is a better week then last week.

The world's highest city is Lhasa in Tibet

Worldwide about 40 square miles of land is transformed into desert each day.

An annoyed camel will spit at people

Canada has one third of the worlds fresh water

7,000 years ago Egyptians bowled on alleys not unlike ones used today.

Sunday 27 March 2022

WEEK 12 OF 2022


Sunday and fend for myself day so I got up at 5am washed, dressed and got my own breaky. This I manage painfully and slowly. It is another fine but cool day.

Managed to finish pasting information into grandmother memory book. Still want to add some photos. I also want to add some information about Tim to it.

Kelli came over to put me to bed which was a surprise no one told me she was coming. I was expecting Jess.



Slept in till 5.55am up washed and dressed before ringing Tasha who didn't answer. I ended up ringing her four times before she rang back, she was in the shower.

Kelli told me yesterday that Kirsty (her sister, my niece) has Covid and had to be taken to hospital with severe chest pains. She is home again but still quite ill.

Went to lay down at 2pm to listen to my book only to find myself an hour later downloading a new book as the other one had finished.


What a night last night was, I fell out of bed when I attempted to roll over to turn the book off. Thankfully Leo was in the house and came to my aid. I then had a full on panic attack, Leo helped calm me down.

Having a restless day with zero motivation to do anything.

Leo showed me a photo of his girlfriend Emma she is a pretty girl. They speak for hours on the phone, like the teenagers they are.


Had another restless night I was fine for a couple of hours but then started to feel nauseous which was worse when I laid down. I was up and down for a while I ended up sitting in my arm chair but I woke up in bed I vaguely remember Leo taking me back to bed. I then slept ok for the rest of the night, waking at 4.30am and getting up for the day.

The day has been so so but going downhill since midday


Had a shocking night sleeping for only 1-2hrs at a time, waking to a body shaking head to foot rapidly and uncontrollably. Then the restlessness and panic mood starts. Is it any wonder I have moments when I feel like I can't do this any more. At 4am I woke again and gave up on sleep and got up.

Both Tasha & Jess are out this morning and Tim is at work so I have to find a way to cope.

This afternoon I needed help getting out of my chair due to spasms in my back, so I sent Tash a sms and when I received no response I rang her. What a mistake, I coped a shit load of abuse. I of course started to cry as she went on and on about having to repeat herself and how no one does shit. Also about needing time to herself.

After a bit I told her that I am often scared to call her and how I try not to ask for help. A lot more was said by both of us and after a while we parted on good terms both of us had shed tears.

I know that I am often just in the line of fire and cope it when she explodes.

A better nights sleep till 3.40am when I got a bad cramp in my calf and tried to get out of bed, this resulted in me falling ending up on the floor calling for help. Tim got up helped me off the floor and go to the toilet but when I attempted to go back to bed I couldn't settle. This means I have been up since 3.40am.

I have been tired and restless all day, unable to concentrate on anything.

No Saturday entry cyberspace ate it.

Tuesday 22 March 2022

Sunday 20 March 2022

WEEK 11 OF 2022

 I was awake up, washed and dressed and got my own breaky by 6am.

Tim up at 6.15 and off to work by 7am.

Had a pleasant day, wrote a couple of letters and threw a load of towels into wash and then into the dryer. However, I wasn't

able to get the last 3 items out of the washing machine as I couldn't reach.



A good start to the day I have little pain, it won't last but it is good while it does.

Went to doctors and had health care plan done, Tasha took me.

Jess worked last night doing traffic control on the Central Coast, that's about 45 minutes away. She got home in time to do her normal school run.


Woke at 4.30 feeling restless and needing to pee so I got up, washed and dressed myself. Also I opened the house up before ringing Tasha, who as it turns out is sick.

A wet morning, so couldn't go up with Leo.

Wrote up two blog posts ready for future use.

Pain sitting at a 3 today.


Woke at 4.10 and peed then went back to bed for an hour before getting up for the day.

I am having a bad morning, shaking so very much and I am super restless. Pain in my left knee is around a 5.

I was able to go up the front with Leo. This I enjoy it is a special Leo & Nana time.

Due to being in a state I have struggled to do anything today.


A new day and a dry one by the looks of it, well I can't hear rain but it is too dark outside to see much.

I am having a much better day then yesterday.

Heard from Jeannie (sister)that Peter is doing better, trying to talk and has learnt to lean forward when kissed.


Awake at 4.30 up at 4.45, washed, dressed and ready for the day. Another fine day it is so far.

Even managed to do grocery shopping without issue.

Sandy told me that Sue was electrocuted at work yesterday and was taken by ambos to the Marter Hospital she was treated/observed and discharged.

Managed to do a few more pages in the grandmother memory book for Blain.

Kelli came over to put me to bed.


Saturday again, awake at 4.50 straight up and washed, dressed and ready for the day. Sweating and shaking a bloody lot.

Kathy & Summer arrived at 10.30, Kathy wasn't well all stuffed up in the head.

Raining on and off all day and a tad coldish.


Thursday 17 March 2022



Recently as in this year I have been reading some Australian history books the last one I finished was titled “Miss Muriel Matter”.

So I have decided to write a post on a few of them starting with Muriel Matters. She was born 12 November 1877, Bowden in South Australia and died on the 17 November 1969 in Saint Leonards in the United Kingdom.

Muriel Lilah Matters was an Australian-born suffragist, lecturer, journalist, educator, actress and elocutionist. Based in Britain from 1905 until her death, Matters is best known for her work on behalf of the Women's Freedom League at the height of the militant struggle to enfranchise women in the United Kingdom.

In 1908 Muriel became the first woman to speak in the British House of Commons. But she hadn't been invited to speak. Instead, she chained herself to the grille that obscured women's views of proceedings at London's Houses of Parliament and addressed the assembled politicians

Matters spent a year in Wales advocating votes for women and held meetings in Dublin. In 1909 she flew over London in an airship inscribed 'Votes

for Women', scattering handbills over parliament.

Wednesday 16 March 2022



Will You Ever Understand?

©  More By Toni

Published: December 2008

I don't think you will
ever fully understand
how you've touched my life
and made me who I am.

I don't think you could ever know
just how truly special you are,
that even on the darkest nights
you are my brightest star.

I don't think you will ever fully comprehend
how you've made my dreams come true
or how you've opened my heart
to love and the wonders it can do.

You've allowed me to experience
something very hard to find:
unconditional love that exists
in my body, soul, and mind.

I don't think you could ever feel
all the love I have to give,
and I'm sure you'll never realize
you've been my will to live.

You are an amazing person,
and without you I don't know where I'd be.
Having you in my life
completes and fulfills every part of me.


Tuesday 15 March 2022



Good morning all this Tuesday I am telling you a tad about the Channel-Billed Cuckoo, this sneaky bird uses another birds nest when it's ready to lay its eggs, often damaging the other birds eggs.

When hatched the young cuckoo is cared for by the mother of the original eggs.

The channel-billed cuckoo is a species of cuckoo in the family Cuculidae. It

is monotypic within the genus Scythrops. The species is the largest brood parasite in the world, and the largest cuckoo. It is found in Australia, New Guinea and Indonesia; additionally, it is vagrant in New Caledonia and New Zealand.

The Channel-billed Cuckoo migrates to northern and eastern Australia from New Guinea and Indonesia between August and October each year. The birds leave Australia in February or March.

Monday 14 March 2022


 Hello world, hows everyone?

Monday here again and that means useless facts.

Almost” is the longest word you can make in the English language with all the letters in the correct alphabeticl order.

In 1976 a South American Guppy became the first fish in space.

In 1870 the city of Paris was under seige, people could only get messages out via pigeons.

Parisians photographed important messages than shrank the photos to a fraction of their size using a new process called “microphotography”. They stuffed tiny microphotographs into a quill which they tied to a pigeon's tail feathers.

Only one in twenty pigeons got out of Paris safely but each one carried no less than 3,200 messages.

Sunday 13 March 2022

WEEK 10 OF 2022

 Slept in till 6am, had to get help getting out of bed, washed and dressed on my own I have no help on Sunday mornings.

At 10am I needed to ring Tasha for help and she was in such a mood I wished I hadn't.

Had Blain come and help me at 11.30 instead of asking Tasha.

Tasha in a bit better mood later in the day.


Not a good start to the day shaking a great deal also hot and sticky. In fact this is the worst morning I have had in ages.

Still raining and humid.

Tim rang Westmead hospital and after a dozen attempts they answered. The lady he spoke to was helpful and sent an email with the information we need.


Appointment day, still raining and I am still shaking a bloody lot and sweating of course.

Bloody heavy rain driving to Sydney had to go round the large block twice before we found the right turn. There is so much construction that we had to drive along narrow one way roads. Tim dropped me off at the entrance while he park the car.

The test was conducted by an older man, it consisted of wiring me up like they do with an ECG. The leads were attached to both arms and I had to either sit still or move my arms as per instructions. The doctor should have the results/report in four weeks.

When leaving Tim left me waiting outside the entrance while he got the car, it was still raining. Thankfully a nice man saw Tim getting me into the car in the rain and came with an umbrella to shade us from the rain. We both thanked him and said we appreciated his help.

Arrived home by 3pm driving home still in heavy rain but arrived safely. Tasha was here to help me change ready for bed.


A new day slept till 5.25am this I suspect is because I had to get up for an hour a few hours after going to bed with severe indigestion took some Mylanta and waited to the pain had passed.

Tim looks and feels exhausted.

Been a good day, pain sitting around 5-6.


Woke at 4am and peed then went back to bed till 5.30 when I got up.

A much cooler morning, no rain so I was able to go up the front with Leo.

Had a somewhat lazy day, doing bugga.

Saw Kelli & Freya


A new day saw me up at 5am managed to wash and dress myself.

Another dry day spent sweating and struggling but living and loving.

Was surprised to see Kelli & Freya walk in at 1.20pm she came to help me get ready for bed and it was awesome to see her.

She was telling me the new house has a serious ant problem. The landlord told them there were ants but down played how bad it was.


Awake and up at 5.15am, washed & dress and managed to get my own breaky.

Tim woke up in a mood which only got worse as the morning progressed. He did what needed to be done to Kelli's car.

Kathy arrived around midday vacuumed and cleaned the bath, also emptied the bins. Before showering me and getting me dressed for bed.


Friday 11 March 2022




Wednesday 9 March 2022



The True Meaning Of Life

Patricia A. Fleming©  More By Patricia A. Fleming

Published: July 2017

The years have passed by
In the blink of an eye,
Moments of sadness
And joy have flown by.

People I loved
Have come and have gone,
But the world never stopped,
And we all carried on.

Life wasn't easy,
And the struggles were there,
Filled with times that it mattered,
Times I just didn't care.

I stood on my own,
And I still found my way,
Through some nights filled with tears,
And the dawn of new days.

And now with old age,
It's become very clear;
Things I once found important
Were not why I was here.

And how many things
That I managed to buy
Were never what made me
Feel better inside.

And the worries and fears
That plagued me each day,
In the end of it all,
Would just fade away.

But how much I reached out
To others when needed,
Would be the true measure
Of how I succeeded.

And how much I shared
Of my soul and my heart
Would ultimately be
What set me apart.

And what's really important,
Is my opinion of me,
And whether or not
I'm the best I can be.

And how much more kindness
And love I can show
Before the Lord tells me
It's my time to go.


Monday 7 March 2022

Just some facts


Good morning, still raining here, another Monday means more facts.

A bowling pin has to tilt only 7.5 degrees in order to fall

So called experts say cats are more inclined to watch TV than dogs

A dog can suffer from tonsillitis

A dog has no appendix

Alexander the Great made his soldiers stay clean shaven so the enemy wouldn't be able to grab their beard and stab them.

Sunday 6 March 2022

WEEK 9 OF 2022

 Awake and up at 4.45 only to find that Tim had taken the pants I was going to wear and washed them. I couldn't find the clean clothes as Tim had thrown them in the dryer. He had to get up and get them out so I had pants to wear.

Had Tasha come and fold the clothes for me, she also unpacked the dishwasher.

I have had a reasonable day


Last day of February saw me up at 4.52am.

This morning Brian (Leo's driver) was early, Leo said of course he was early we were running late.

Kelli told me that they sign the lease for the place at Hexham, on Friday, she isn't thrilled with the place but at least it is a place.


A new month already March and wet start to the month, I woke to rain.

Due to the rain I wasn't able to take Leo to the top of the driveway.

Managed to make a state at pasting the printed info into the grandmother memory book for Blain.

Been raining all day.


Still raining here, woke at 4.55 up and washed then dressed for the day.

Due to the weather I have no internet this morning, also have to watch channel 3 as channel 7 is out because of the weather.

Tasha here cleaning the stove/oven and it is a big job. She said it needs cleaning again tomorrow.

Internet came good at around midday.


I have a Dr's appointment this morning and Kelli is taking me. Tasha is busy as it is shopping day for her, some may think it's just shopping go after my appointment but no that will throw out her day and I get that as I would feel the same.

Another wet morning/day, with heavy downpours but no flooding here.

My appointment went well he did a mental heath care plan for me. Referring me to Lake Macquarie Mental Health Services. I hope I hear from them soon.


Started this morning with a nice hotish shower, going to be another wet day.

Tasha bed base came and she was in a right mood as she had no help putting it together, her dad was in bed then got up and went to work, it was Jess and Jono who didn't bother to help. She was taking it out on me and Tim because we were in the line of fire, not because she blamed us.

I managed to catch Kelli as they were leaving to sign the for the new house, and got her help getting ready for bed.

At 6pm we lost power but still had lights something had tripped the circuit breaker I tried to flick it on but it wouldn't stay so I rang Tasha who came and after a bit got it on, I had no more problems with it.


Woke at 5am having slept well, it is a dry morning first one all week. Kathy not coming till this afternoon.

I have had an ok day, didn't do much found sitting here at the computer made my knees sting with pain, sitting in my armchair makes my back ache. I am screwed no matter what, also I struggle to get out of the chair often having to call for help.

Kathy showered me this afternoon and got me ready for bed.


Friday 4 March 2022


                                                                         MY MUM 1960

Tuesday 1 March 2022



Another wet morning but no flooding here thankfully, unlike the sunshine state, aka, Queensland.

This weeks extreme creature is the Christmas Island Frigatebird, heard of it, no, me either.

The Christmas frigatebird, or Christmas Island frigatebird, is a seabird of the frigatebird family Fregatidae which is an endemic breeder to Christmas Island in the Indian Ocean. The Christmas frigatebird is a large lightly built seabird with brownish-black plumage, long narrow wings and a deeply forked tail.

Frigatebirds have a very sneaky way of getting their food, they steal it.............

They chase other seabirds until the chased birds regurgitate their meal, then they eat the vomited food, gross.............

Males have enormous red throat pouches and during the breeding season they puff them up like big red balloons to attract the females.

Scientists believe there are between 3,600 and 7,200 Christmas frigatebirds, deeming them critically endangered. There are likely several hundred thousand lesser frigatebirds, though their population is decreasing as well with a conservation status of least concern.

BPD & Physical Symptoms

  This week I am wrapping up at least for now my posts on borderline personality disorder or BPD, I will end this by sharing a few other phy...