Borderline Personality Disorder & Relationships

 

So here I am on a wet Thursday morning tyring to write a post about BPD but mostly just looking at the computer screen or the rain outside.

This week we are talking about intense interpersonal relationships. It isn’t uncommon for people to feel like they are walking on eggshells when involved with someone who has BPD as it can be like riding a roller coaster.

In fact, it doesn’t matter if the person is your partner, a friend, relative or just someone you work with, you will find the emotions intense with the highs being high and the lows super low. It will often feel anything may trigger an outburst; this is why people feel exhausted having someone with BPD in their life.

It is not unusual for relationships with a BPD suffer to start very passionately and you may even feel like soulmates. It may feel the BPD suffer wants to spend all their time with you, but this will not last and can fade fast.

In fact, the moment you do something wrong even if you have no idea what you did, you may feel attacked or punished. Which is why such relationships tend to leave you feeling drained.

People need to understand that because the BPD suffer is afraid you will leave them, they reject your efforts to put things right. In fact, they are more likely to put you through several tests in order for you to prove your loyalty. They may even shut down hoping you will apologise and beg forgiveness.

People with BPD may have a challenging time respecting your boundaries. Boundaries can feel like rejection, and rejection often feels synonymous with abandonment. They may be jealous of other people in your life and constantly put them down, hoping that you will also turn against them.

 

Unfortunately, even though the person with BPD fears abandonment, their actions ultimately can motivate people to abandon them. After all, it can feel hopeless and futile trying to comfort someone who doesn’t believe in your motives.