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So here I am on a wet Thursday morning tyring to write a post about BPD but
mostly just looking at the computer screen or the rain outside.
This week we are talking about intense interpersonal relationships. It
isn’t uncommon for people to feel like they are walking on eggshells when involved
with someone who has BPD as it can be like riding a roller coaster.
In fact, it doesn’t matter if the person is your partner, a friend,
relative or just someone you work with, you will find the emotions intense with
the highs being high and the lows super low. It will often feel anything may
trigger an outburst; this is why people feel exhausted having someone with BPD
in their life.
It is not unusual for relationships with a BPD suffer to start very
passionately and you may even feel like soulmates. It may feel the BPD suffer
wants to spend all their time with you, but this will not last and can fade
fast.
In fact, the moment you do something wrong even if you have no idea what
you did, you may feel attacked or punished. Which is why such relationships
tend to leave you feeling drained.
People need to understand that because the BPD suffer is afraid you will
leave them, they reject your efforts to put things right. In fact, they are
more likely to put you through several tests in order for you to prove your
loyalty. They may even shut down hoping you will apologise and beg forgiveness.
People with BPD may have a
challenging time respecting your boundaries. Boundaries can feel like
rejection, and rejection often feels synonymous with abandonment. They may be
jealous of other people in your life and constantly put them down, hoping that you
will also turn against them.
Unfortunately, even though the
person with BPD fears abandonment, their actions ultimately can motivate people
to abandon them. After all, it can feel hopeless and futile trying to comfort
someone who doesn’t believe in your motives.
Such a sad way to live, Jo-Anne. I have known people like this in my past, and eventually, you simply have to walk away for your own good.
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Yeah I do get that, life has never been easy for my sister and now after so many years she knows why
DeleteSo what can be done to help them? I would think therapy if they’ll go, medication? Group therapy? Sad. Sounds like they just can’t get it right in their relationships. Very frustrating interesting Jo-Anne!
ReplyDeleteMy sister sees a counsellor and she does take medication for depression but it is her daily struggle in life and her big sister can't fix it.
DeleteI couldn't read the chart even when I tried to enlarge it. Just got blurry. But I got the gist with what you wrote about, I think. They are exhausting, for sure.
ReplyDeleteYeah I wasn't doing to good when I posted this and just picked any picture to go with the post without checking it out first, sorry about that
DeleteMy thought was does medication help, or are the side effects even worse. It certainly helps if we understand the condition better.
ReplyDeleteThe only medication I know my sister takes is for depression, I am learning about this condition as I go along
DeleteI've read that a loveless childhood often precedes BPD
ReplyDeleteI have read that too, but Sue has always been part of a loving and supportive family except in her own head.
DeleteI don't think I know anyone with BPD right now but I do have someone in my past who was. It's got to be a hard way to live.
ReplyDeleteYes it makes a happy life hard to accept, they are always waiting for something to go wrong
DeleteMy sister Sue has this condition, she is 53 and has struggled most of her life with these issues.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDelete