Monday, 22 August 2011

Things A Wise Woman Has Told Me part 1

A very wise women once told me that the word “HATE” is a very strong word to use and to say ' dislike' instead because “HATE” you can't get over and with “dislike” there is room for improvement…………

This is something I think when I am tempted to say I hate something or someone…………………

The woman in question is my mother this is just one of the many wise things she has taught me and it is something I think more of us should strive to remember and live by maybe there would be less fighting between individuals………………………………….

I can honestly say I have never said I hate any of my children although I have said at times that I have hated the way they have been acting at times. When they have said they have hated me I know how hurt I get even though I know deep inside they do not mean it, I also know that my daughters have mistaken what I have said thinking I have told them that I hate them and when I have replied that no I said I hated how they were acting they will come back “same thing”. Well not the same thing in my opinion although now they are mothers themselves they are starting to see things a bit differently.
So what does other people think is “hate” to strong a word…………………………….


Joanne said...

Your Mom is a very thoughtful wise woman.
Blessings, Joanne

DWei said...

I personally like using the word. It accurate describes and emotion that I'm feeling and to use any other word would be lying.

yevisha said...

my mother used to say something along those lines. hate is such a strong emotion and it uses up a lot of energy in a very negative way. better to move on and spend time with people you like.

SkippyMom said...

I taught our kids the same thing - hate is unacceptable unless you really mean it and never in regards to another person or a group of people.

I wouldn't even dream of saying I hated one of my kids [Do people actually DO that?!?] And have never had one of them tell me they hate me or their Dad, ever. That, I think, would break our hearts.

orchid0324 said...

Dear Jo-Anne
Thank you for posting this!!!
I am a Japanese and while learning English, I wondered about how both words sounds differently to English speaking people. I think I totally agree with "SkippyMon".
I don't remember my parents used me the words "hate and dislike". They say "I'm sad if you....."
I think I'm too old to say this but, I feel my parents tried not to deny my personality.
(Haha, my mum was kind of a stern discipliner making me do lots of chores, though)

Unknown said...

I might have said that I hated my mother when I was a teen, but I only did this behind her back. I still have regrets that I said that word, even if she couldn't hear me. I know I'll have to answer to that sometime in the hereafter. I'm learning to work with anger, to let it flow through me so that I can get over it. Many times this summer when my teen was home, I experienced waves of anger and the overwhelming need to assert my control as a parent. Thankfully I am now able to relax more and to let some things go. It is difficult to be a parent, and difficult to be a child.

The Uncommon Willow said...

that is a word that i "hate" to hear people say. i know that i've told my kids that i hated the way they did something or the way they've acted, but made sure they understood that i did not hate "them" as individuals. i think i (also) said as a teenager that i hated my parents - but not to them. i never meant it and wouldn't have wanted to hurt their feelings, but it didn't stop me from thinking it and mumbling under my breath in private.

Anonymous said...

I was taught that also and I believe it is a true statement. I believe I've only used that twice and regretted it immediately afterwards.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

Hi Joanne

I think so I am very proud to be her daughter.

Hi DWei

If you are happy using the word then that is fine we are all different.

Hi Yevisha

I also feel that the word is full of negative emotions.

Hi SkippyMom

Yes there are people out there who tell their children they hate them my nephew's mother says it to him a lot and it really upsets me when she does no child deseves to be told that their parent hates them.

Hi Orchid

Yeah I my mum has said she is disapointed in choices that her chidren have made or that she is sad because of something they have done but never has she said she has hated any of her children.

Hi Kneesandpaws

I don't remember saying that I hated my parents ever but I do remember mumbling to myself that I hated the way the treated me but I think that only happened once or twice in my whole life.

Hi Teresa

Yeah it is one think to say to ourselves that we hate the way we have been treated by out parents when we are teenages but I would have never ever said it to them, my own children have said it to me and yes it does hurt deeply.

Hi Craziness abounds

I have tried to teach my children that it is not a word to use but I have failed.

diane b said...

It is a nasty word and hard not to use when angry. However, saying that you don't like a behaviour is a much better thing to say. It takes children a while to grasp that concept but it can be taught to them. If they can learn to say, "I don't like what you are doing/saying then they will understand if it is said to them. Hopefully.

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