Happiness

Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside you.  Most people depend on others to gain happiness, but the truth is, it always comes from within.

Are you happy?

How do you know you're happy?

I am happy, I am happy with my life and I feel not only happy but loved and content.

However there is these adds on telly that has people asking each other “happy” and when he sees it Tim has said how do they know they are happy, so I asked him if he was happy with his life and his reply was I don't know, I guess I am more or less. He then went on to complain about a heap of things he is not happy with, like not getting a permanent position at work or Leo getting into his stuff.

So I said yeah there are things that we are unhappy with but for myself I am happy with my life, I am happy being married to him and having a loving family around me.

I think at times people like Tim focus on the little things that make them unhappy instead of the big picture overall is your life good, do you have people around you who love and care for you, do you have a content feeling.

Happiness for me is an overall feeling, it is not centered on one thing and as such it takes more than one thing to make me feel unhappy with my life. Like my weight it isn’isn't what I want it to be but I don’t let it upset me, it is what it is and I am the only one who can change it.

Little Ones do they stress you out or are you laid back

Good morning all, well it is a lovely day here in Newie the sun is shining and so far it’s not too hot, I hope it stays that way.

Well the weekend is over and what a weekend it was, I was pretty busy this weekend. On Saturday morning Tim and I took the dogs into the RSPCA and surrender them although I have to go back with Kathy-Lee today because DC was in her name and she had to sign the paperwork to surrender him.

Then yesterday I was babysitting, I had Leo and Daemon from the time we all woke up and Sydney-May and Summer from around 11.30am to 3.30pm while Kathy and Michael went Christmas shopping. So for a couple of hours I had a house of little ones, Sydney was so excited when she say Leo here and all the kids had fun running around and playing together. Leo even told Summer to follow them outside and I had to explain she is too little to go outside to play.

So that brings me to today’s question when you are watching a few little ones do you stress about what they are doing or what they are getting into and over what they will or won't eat.

Me I am pretty laid back I don’t care if they go out the back to play or if they are running up and down the hallway. I put the tv onto a kids channel and if they drag out a heap of toys that is ok too, I even don’t care if they jump on my bed, in fact yesterday Tim took Syd into the bedroom so she could have some fun jumping on our bed.

For lunch I made some chicken nuggets and chips and just sat it on the little table in the lounge room and told them to eat and they did most of what I made was eaten.

Now as much as I love having the little ones here, it did feel good when they all left, Jessica took Leo and Daemon back to her house and after Michael picked up the girls the house was quiet and I was about to sort out our weekly medications.

Kelli and Daemon arrived back here around 7.30pm a bit earlier than planned, she and Jono went to a concert in Sydney and she got hurt so they were home earlier than expected, they are also sleeping in since it is now 8.33am and they are still not up.

Yesterday I managed to do all the laundry and the ironing and vacuum out 3 times and put the Christmas tree up so I have very little to do today.

 I do have to drive my sister Sue to Jessica’s place around 9ish as she is going to clean Jessica’s house for her. Jessica is one of those people who hate housework, there is nothing wrong with that many women hate it, me included and I don't mind paying Sue to give it a good clean and Sue could do with the money.

Cry Baby................or crying is ok................

Well good morning all, today in Newcastle it is supposed to be a lovely day on the hot side, I am up dressed and waiting for Summer to arrive, I wonder if it will still be morning by the time I get to post this. It is hard at times to get things done when I have Summer.

Today I want to talk about how Silence is often the loudest cry.

There’s always some truth behind ‘just kidding,’ knowledge behind ‘I don't know,’ emotion behind ‘I don't care,’ and pain behind: ‘It’s okay.’  So pay close attention to how people feel, especially those you care for most.   Sometimes what a person needs most is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I know myself when I am truly hurting I will say nothing, I will try my best not to let others see me cry, or how much they have hurt me. I can't tell you why I do this I just do, maybe I don't want to appear like a “cry baby”.

I feel that adults and often men more than women will teach children that it is not ok to cry, how often have the words don’t be a “cry baby” been said to a child who is crying over nothing. I think it would do for people to remember that crying if okay even if it is over nothing and instead of putting the child down for crying to give them a hug and say in a calm and soothing voice that it’s okay to cry but really is it that bad. Then talk it through and explain why you feel they are crying over nothing and why it isn't so bad, or if you think the child is just crying for attention than explain to the child that they don't need to cry to get your attention.

Of course it is not that easy to not get all bent out of shape and angry with a child who is crying just for attention but if possible take a deep breath and remain calm and talk to the child in quiet and calm voice.

If the child is crying because they have fallen over and hurt themselves than there is no reason to get angry the child needs to be comforted and not told to stop crying because “boys” don't cry that in my opinion is sending the wrong message to the child.

I get really annoyed when I hear someone put a child down because the child is crying, crying is the first way we learnt to communicate.

You are not a failure.....................Mummy loves you

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it who you think you’re not.

Judging yourself is not the same as being honest with yourself.  Don't sell yourself short!  You are capable of great things.  And don't ever let someone else make you feel like you're not good enough.  If they can't see how amazing you are, then they're the one who’s not good enough for you.  Their approval is not needed.

Searching this morning for something to write about I came across this and this made me think of my special girl and how she is feeling like a failure at this time in her life.

This morning I received a text that she sent to me last night in which she says she feels pathetic because she has no job, no qualifications, she doesn't even have a resume and doesn't know how to go about writing one that will make people want to hire her for a job.   

I don't know what to say or do to make her feel better about herself, is there anything I can say, in some ways I feel that this is something she has to do for herself my words sound empty and pointless.

How does one help someone feel better about themselves?

If you know tell me please, since all my words of support fall on deaf ears and leave me feeling sad and terrible for not being able to help.

I know that a person has to be responsible for their own happiness and self-worth but when a person is really beating themselves up about all the things they can't do how does a love one help.

I really don't expect any answers from anyone I am just saying how I feel, how as here mum I hate hearing and seeing her so down and feeling like a pathetic failure which I do not think she is. I can say to the cows come home that she is not these things but I can't make her believe me.

Homing Pigeons no I mean Homing Dogs.......................well in my dreams at least

Last night I had the strangest dream I am blaming it on what happened last night, now you are wondering what happened Tim had the front sliding door open I said to him that he should shut the door as Leo was playing with the dogs, well Tim says no and if the dogs get out I am not going to get them back well of course you can guess what happened  Leo made the mistake of letting the dogs inside and of course what happened they ran out the front door and that of course upset Leo he became hysterical and papa had to go out and find them, this was funny because he was so adamant that he wouldn't do that.

When I saw Tim walking in with DC in his arms I just smiled and he said “don't say a bloody word” Dino came home on his own about 15 minutes later.

Now to the dream well I dreamt that the dogs got out through the back gate when I opened it for some reason ( I don't generally open the back gate) anyway they got out and I than left to drive Leo to school and when I returned home I found Dino in the lounge room waiting for me. I then went and looked for DC but couldn't find him I looked all through the yard and when I came inside he was sitting in the hallway looking at me.

Now I then sat down and thought how did the dogs get into a locked house when they had ran out the back gate, so I go and open the gate and have a look around the dogs run past me and are gone so I shrug and walk inside only to find them in the hallway again looking at me.

Bloody dogs are not haunting my dreams, they are like homing pigeons always coming back even in my dreams……………lol

I have an opinion and I am not sorry for that.................but I am sorry if I have upset anyone

I will start this post by saying I am sorry to Jessica for making her feel like I was insulting her with my last post that was not my intention, I was just sounding off because that was how I was feeling when I wrote the post.  I know you will forgive me and I will say here and now that you are not the only daughter who expects me to do things for her, your sisters have had times when they have expected me to sort things out for them as well. It is just that they are now older and more self-sufficient now and the memory of me having to do everything for them has faded.

Today I am also feeling much better than I did yesterday, in fact I spent most of yesterday in bed and I even was back in bed for the night at 5.45pm yesterday. Jessica I am glad we didn't have Leo last night as I really don't know how I would have coped with him being that I spent 90% of the day in bed sick.

So just spoke to Jessica on the phone and looks like I will have Leo for the night and I will take him to school in the morning as she is feeling sick now herself.

Yesterday it rained all day and I was glad I was able to put the clothes in the dryer, today it is nice outside not wet or raining but not hot either. Tim took the car to work again though but he went to work at 1.30am so that is no surprise.  I told Jessica that I will pick Leo up after her dad gets home but I have no idea what time that will be though as I don't know when he will be home from work.

How do you feel when you say or do something that upsets a loved one, do you feel bad wish you could take it back or do you think you are right and why are they getting upset about something you think of as just the truth.

I am one of those people who get upset as I don't like to upset my family or those I care about.  However does that stop me writing things, well sometimes but more often than not it doesn't I write what I feel and then I say sorry later……………………….lol

I do not expect everyone to agree with me, but I also feel that my thoughts and opinions are mine and that is ok, no one has to agree with me but at the same time people shouldn't get all bent out of shape because I have an opinion.

I have times when I think they will get over it when they want something from me…………………my mum feels the same way. 

Decorations, Dogs and feeling like shit......................again...............

Good morning everyone, this morning I have been coughing so much that it like I am going to throw up and I have a bloody headache and body aches to boot, how lucky am I.

Yesterday afternoon I started to decorate my house for Christmas, and also started to do the letters from Santa to my grandchildren. I could pay for letters from Santa but I am cheap and just do them myself………………lol

Today is another wet and overcast day, here down under, and I was surprised when I got up to see that Tim rode the motorbike to work instead of taking the car.

Yesterday Jessica dropped off the dogs at my house while I was out, I knew she was going to do it but I am still annoyed I don't want them here and I would take them into the RSPCA and surrender them but I am really feeling like shit this morning and don't want to do it. I don't know why it has to be me who has to do these things I didn't want them dogs…………….ever……………….but it is me who has to sort them out and make phone calls and surrender them which is very annoying.

There are times when I feel that my girls are all adults now and yes the oldest two manage to do things for themselves but Jessica my special girl (youngest) still expects mummy to sort stuff out for her and make phone calls and such. I am sure if I could apply for jobs for her and go to interviews for her she would  make me do so in order for her to get a job………………………..lol

She is getting better but still I didn't force her to get Dino, it was her decision and she should be the one getting rid of him.

Yesterday my sister asked me if she was getting a personalised calendar for Christmas, she said I have given her one for the last 4 years so she is expecting to get one for next year this Christmas, I hadn't even thought about getting her one at this stage but I will sort it out because that is what I do.

So today’s question at what age do you think your children should be able to do things for themselves such as make phone calls and deal with mistakes like getting a pet then realising you don't want said pet so have to make arrangements to get rid of said pet……………………..Jessica is 24 by the way……………..

Sometimes I think I have mothered her too much………………………..lol