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Tim and I have been together for 30yrs,
we are still in love and enjoy each others company but recently he
was at a doctors visit and the doctor asked him about our
relationship after Tim telling him a bit the doctor had the hide to
say that we don't have a real marriage it is more like a de facto
relationship.
Just because we don't have a lot
interests in common, such as hobbies and during the day/night when
watching telly we often watch two different shows, Tim will go to his
office and work at his computer and watch his own shows and I will be
in the lounge room and use my computer and watch my shows.
However when we go away on holidays we
don't fight and enjoy doing things together I am into museums more
than Tim is but that said he also doesn't mind wandering through some
museums.
So yeah we have different interests but
after so long together we are comfortable with the differences and we
are happy and as I said still in love. I don't think two people need
to spend all their time together doing things together.
So here is my question to all do you
think two people who are in love and been together for 3 decades need
to do things together all the time, or do you think it is normal to
spend time doing different things at the same time enjoy your time
together when you go away on holidays.
There are times when we sit and watch
telly together as there are some shows that we both like.
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That doctor is full of beans! Most happily married couples do have many different interests!
ReplyDeleteI agree the doctor was a young fella so hardly and expert on couples who have been together for so long
Delete"had the hide..." I would have put that a different way, but it would have been NSFW. He must think his Med School diploma says, "To: God" to be able to diagnose 30 years of life after a few questions.
ReplyDeleteI was being nice, when I said "had the hide", he is a young new doctor who has a lot to learn about long term loving relationships
DeleteYou and your husband's personal opinions are the only ones that count--at all. Nothing wrong with living outside the box!! ;)
ReplyDeleteThat is how I feel was are still very much in love and enjoying being together as much as we enjoy our time alone
DeleteI can't believe that doctor said that. If both of you are happy that's all that matters. And it's good for people to have their own interests.
ReplyDeleteI agree and we are happy.
DeleteWonder how long that Dr. has been married?
ReplyDeleteEveryone is different, it's lovely to do things together, but it's also good to have your own personality with your own ideas, and do your own thing if you want.
Since he is only a young bloke I am sure he has not been with anyone for 30yrs
DeleteI totally agree with you on this one. My husband and I are the same as you and Tim when we are at home, and we've been married 37 years. I would think it weird if were in each other's pockets all the time. That Dr doesn't know what he's talking about!
ReplyDeleteI am please to read that everyone thinks the doctor doesn't have a clue what he is talking about, it did make me wonder if we were strange in some way, even though we are happy with our marriage
DeleteWe've been married almost 30 years here, and we enjoy doing many things together, but there are things he does, like hunting, that I am not into at all, and things I do, like watching musicals, that he is not into. I think it is good for each couple to develop some individual interests to continue growing as people.
ReplyDeleteThank I agree, I don't see anything wrong with doing things together at some times as well as have different interest as well
DeleteIf you know you are happy together thats the main thing. In my culture all the 'grown ups' had arranged marriages. I hardly know of any that haven't lasted and we are all on completely different wave lengths.
ReplyDeleteWell we are happy, our marriage is strong and our love still strong neither of us can imagine life without the other
DeleteI think it's good that you can be together or go your own way. The important thing is that you're both happy.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Yes I also think being happy and in love is important more important than doing everything together
DeleteI think the doctor has his head up his ass. Each marriage is different. If you and Tim are happy and enjoy the way you live your life...everyone else can shut the hell up about it.
ReplyDeleteThank you I do too, I guess to me it is normal as my parents have been married for 53yrs and they have different interests while at home but enjoy doing things together when they go away on holiday
DeleteIt sounds like you have a good relationship to me. You allow for each other's differences, and do things together. It's worked for 30 years so it must be good.
ReplyDeleteYes it is good and it does work
DeleteHi Jo-Anne,
ReplyDeleteI think it's totally healthy for couples to have different interests, activities that they do apart from each other and hobbies that they share. Not everything works for every couple but finding what works for you is the key. In my marriage, when we compare ourselves to others, we're most proud of the fact that we are friends, we actually like each other and we can spend time in silence and be totally comfortable with it. 30 years is a lot to be proud of girlfriend! :)
Rose Marie B in OKC
The doctor is an idiot if he thinks that two people must do everything together to have a good strong marriage.
ReplyDeleteHaving different hobbies is what makes my marriage work and gives us stuff to talk about