Broken Arm

My grandson Blain had an accident on Wednesday the 14^th while at day care, I had dropped off his cousin Leo but forgot his pillow so came home picked it up and went back and as I arrived back I heard someone say “she is here now”. I then went and spoke to one of the women who works their and she told me that my other grandson Blain had fallen and hurt his arm.

I went to see Blain who was sitting on a chair in the play area with his arm in a sling with an ice pack, I was told that he had jumped off some of the play equipment and hurt his arm. I was also told that they had rang his mother(Natasha) who told them that he had hurt the same arm when he fell down the stairs at his mothers the day before, so they thought I should take him to see a doctor.

I used their phone and rang my oldest daughter (Kathy) and told her to ring our doctors and tell them I was taking Blain straight up which I did he was seen by Dr Keyworth who said he thought it was broken and to take him straight over to the John Hunter Hospital which I did. He was operated on the following morning and had a wire and pins inserted in his arm.

Now is only that was the worst of it but no not the case on Friday 23^rd Natasha took Blain back to the John Hunter Hospital so they could check his arm and what is discovered, his arm is badly infected and he was rushed back into surgery where they removed a shit load of infection. He has been operated on again today to remove even more infection and so far everything looks good he will be now be in hospital for another week.

As you can imagine I have been very worried about him and have shed some tears over him. Although when I told Tim that he had to have a second opp he didn't seem to care just saying well there is nothing we can do about it.

I did go and see him yesterday afternoon but since Kathy drove us over we couldn’t stay very long as she didn’t want to stay saying that Sydney was getting hungry and tired and she wanted to get her home before she got to upset.

I Need Help

I need help, how do I get out of thinking of myself as a victim? I am always putting myself down and I don’t know why I do it. I never seem to think I am good enough and I worry a lot about letting people down.

Is it because I am often in the line of fire when my girls lash out? Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that my husband rarely listens to me and has a habit of walking away while I am talking to him, although he does it to other people as well. I think also the fact that Tim keeps putting off getting a car that I can drive doesn’t help and yes I know that I tell him it is ok but I don’t deep inside it isn’t but I never seem to be able to tell him that. I think the fact that when we discus it he will go one about how little money he has and how he wants to save for this or that and I agree with him but somewhere inside me I think what about me.

I don’t like what I see when I look in the mirror as I am overweight and most of my clothes don’t look good on me, well that’s how I feel and honestly I have no idea whether that is true or not. As lately I have a habit of doubting myself.

I never use to be like this and I don’t like this person I want to be the old happy Jo-Anne who liked herself.

Kathy just said to me what do I like about myself but I have no idea what I like about myself anymore.

I would love to know what others think is my best feature.

What I do know is that my girls will most likely not read this as they are not interested in reading my blogs, they really are not interested in a lot of the thinks that interest me. Even when we go shopping I often get the feeling that they once we do what they want they are ready to go home and again I say nothing.

Step Parents

A couple of weeks ago at Sunday lunch I brought up the subject of step parents as I have a problem at times with how Lucas talks to Blain and I wanted feedback from others to get a picture if I was wrong or being to sensitive about the hole thing. I did feel like I was being attacked and that I was in the wrong for feeling the way I did.

I know that step parents usually have good intentions meaning their hearts are in the right place but I have watched Dr Phil a lot and he always says that step parents shouldn't discipline their step children so I guess that is one reason why I have had a problem with Lucas. Sandra and Dave made a point of letting me know that they thought I was wrong well that is the impression I got.

I would have liked mum to tell me her thoughts on the subject as she was a step child and she may see things differently. However she didn’t get a chance as everyone else seem to cut her off. I was going to ask mum about it later but never got a chance, maybe I will remember to do so at some point but I have a terrible memory lately.

So I will have to learn to deal with my thoughts about step parents and discipline as I said if they love the child they are doing what they think is right and if the natural parent is ok with the step parent disciplining their child then that is what matters not what the grandparent things or feels.