Not Dinking

It a good thing I have a bloody headache tonight and don't feel much like drinking as bossy boots aka Lucas has reminded me that I told him I wouldn't have anything to drink until after I pick him and Tasha up tonight. However I didn't realise that it would after midnight when they would want to be picked up he said around 12.20am they should be ready to come home.

Jessica has told me if I decide to have something to drink she will go and get them but I will have to go with her as she doesn't know where his sister lives.

I do have to say I feel like I am drinking as I am drink Pepsi Max out of a wine glass, we had no clean glasses so unlike my hubby who would just complain and whinge about there being no clean glasses.

Seeing Tim Happy

Guess what my darling hubby has been fishing he went yesterday and is planning to go again tomorrow afternoon, this is great he went with Lucas and said he enjoyed himself.

He also went to Sydney yesterday by himself to see his mother and step father, he rode his bike so I couldn't go even if I had wanted to. He told me that he really enjoyed the trip to Sydney it seems so odd to hear Tim say he enjoys himself as it has been so long since he has said it.

Christmas day he also seemed to be enjoying himself although at one point he looked like he was getting annoyed as my brother was stirring the shit out of him but me and Sandra pointed out that it's because Dave sees him as a brother that he does it. Dave love to stir the shit out of his siblings and as far as Dave is concerned that includes Tim.

He even gave me half the money his mother gave him for Christmas and yes I had told him I wanted half but I didn't really expect him to give it to me so that was a nice surprise.

Merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE

Well I had a great day hope everyone else did as well, I did have a few drinks but I didn't get drunk well I don't think I did................lol

Tim is off work for a couple of weeks now hope he doesn't drive me crazy, he is going to Sydney tomorrow to see his mother as he is planning to ride his bike I will not be going with him.

Every year Tim has a habit of complain that he didn't get presents as good as my dad although he forgets that dad just lets mum and go and get him what ever she wants and she doesn't have to explain to him what she spent the money on,unlike me with Tim. This year he didn't but when he spoke about what I got him he seemed to talk more about what didn't come with the camera instead of the positive things about it. I gave him a digital video camera.

Although he had to complain that I bought a lot of grog and he didn't get any of it but I had told him a number of times that now that I have given out what I wanted to as Christmas presents he can have what he wants as what is left over is ours.

My girls seemed to be happy with their gifts which made me happy.

Tattoo

Man has it been hot here the last couple of days which wouldn't be to bad if my darling daughter Natasha would leave the air con on but she is a strange one says she is cold and will walk around with a jacket on in 30 degree heat.

Yesterday my niece Kelli who is 14 went and got a tattoo on her shoulder it is of a skull with a knife through it and blood drops, it looks cool. Her father went with her to get it done so she did have his permission, however, her mother is not happy about it.

I think my sister is annoyed with me as I said it looked cool and she thinks I am encouraging her but I am really just supporting her. Kelli is a strong willed girl who will not be told what to do or how to act so I like to support and let her know that I am here for her and that I love her just the way she is.

I understand Sue is worried that she will regret getting it done but Kelli has to make her own mistakes in life, if she regrets it then she will just have to always where something that covers it. Yes it is a large tattoo but it is what Kelli wanted, Kelli also has a number of piecings 10 in fact and that is just the type of girl she is. I don't know if you can understand that I don't see the piecings when I look at her I just see her and I think she is a strong beautiful girl. I think of her like a fourth daughter.

Cleanning Stuff

Natasha just finish cleanning the laundry floor as there was kitty litter all over the place and she was pissed off about it as Kathy hates cleanning it out and when she does she doesn't bother to do on the floor around the tray. In fact it is me more then her that cleans it out and at least I always clean around the tray as well as sweep out the laundry.

This afternoon I asked Kathy to unpack the dishwasher before she went to work what did she say I did it yesterday but I was having none of that I told I pack it every day and she still had to do it, she did and then she tried to tell me she was only joking but I know Kathy and can tell when she is joking and she wasn't.

Tomorrow Jessica wants me to go shopping with her and I said thats ok but I also promised Natasha I would watch Blain while she went out with her cousin who is getting a tattoo tomorrow. Well now Jes is annoyed with me as she doesn't want to take Blain shopping with us I don't care what we do and told her so, also saying you decided and let me know what we are doing.

Jessica has had a couple of good nights looking after Leo I haven't heard her complaining although she did get me up last night at 4.15 as she couldn't get him to go back to sleep so I said I would do it......I was back in bed at 4.30am.

Money Issues

I have one very selfish daughter on Friday while at breakfast I asked her if she would give me $10 a week just for me and before I could say any more she started.

She works 2 jobs and I have none and she works hard for her money and why should she give it to me it's not her fault I do nothing.....Well my sisters Jeannie and Sandra where there and both of them had something to say about it, which of cause she didn't like and she ended up walking away and not talking to me for a while.

I had planned to tell her that even though she gives me $50 a week for food she reckons she never eats any of the food so not to bother doing that any more and just give me the $10 for me. Well when I did eventually tell her that she said fine but I'm not giving you the $10 I don't see why I should, however if you need something just ask and I will get it for you.......Like I want to do that ask my daughter to buy stuff for me.

Sandra told mum and mum rang here and talked to Tasha about me wanting $10 for myself and about how Kathy reacted,well Lucas lost it with Kathy and went off his head about her being selfish.I was expecting to have Tasha complain she can't afford to give me money also which is why my mum said something to her and I think the only reason she hasn't complain is Lucas.

So now Tasha said she will give me $10 one week and Lucas will give me $10 the next week and Jessica said she will set up an automatic transfer from her account for me. Jessica was the only one I knew I wouldn't have a problem with.

Tim sided with Kathy saying he didn't understand why I need to have money and told me if I want money all I have to do is ask like I want to do that but I am going to do it as I know it will drive him mad and piss him off me asking for money all the time.

My Life

Lately everything seems to causing me stress I am so tense all the time, I am worried about Kelli as she has been sick lately and in a lot of pain and the Dr doesn't know why,bloody doctors. She tells me not to worry but that is easier said then done.

I am tired of hearing my girls complain about stuff sometimes I think they just like to complain. I can't fix everything but they act like they want me to and it is annoying as they are all grown women now. Two of them are mothers themselves but still they want me to do a bloody lot for them. One of them will complain about stuff she could do herself but chooses not to.

They all complain about having no money well guess what I also have no money and if anyone tells me to get a job I will scream as I am married to a man who has a good job and can afford to support me, also with the way the country is now I don't think people who don't need to work should as there is not enough jobs to go around.

I am sick to death feeling like a fat cow and I know I am not that fat but it still doesn't change the way I feel it really sucks. I do walk and I do not eat a lot of junk food but still I can't lose weight or slim down a bit.

Jessica is always complain she can't cope with Leo but gets pissed off with me when I try to offer advice about how to cope with Leo. She likes to say that she can't learn and doesn't know how to learn and I just want to scream.

Tim is still drinking but seems ok but he is still annoying when he is drunk like all drunks of course. I love him but it is still frustrating.

How am I suppose to cope with all this stress everyone wanting me and not feeling like I am not doing enough for them. I try and try but still I feel like a failure at times.

I know it is normal for people to take their anger out on whoever is around but why does it often feel like that person is me.

I wish at times I could just stop eating and do nothing but walk and walk and walk to be fit healthy and slim.

I hate feeling tired all the bloody time and listening to my girls and husband say things like you are always sleeping in that voice that really upsets me like it is something I like doing just for the fun of it.

I know life is not meant to be easy but does it have to be this bloody hard.

My Loving Husband

As most of you will know I have been married to Tim for 24 years and he is a good man, a hard working man who loves his family and tries his best to protect them.

Yes I have in the past said things about his behaviour but as his wife I am allowed to do that. He is the love of my life the man I wish to grow old with got it.

NO ONE ELSE IS ALLOWED TO.....................

Some people seem to think they know what type of man he is but they really have no idea only those of us who are closest to him know what he is really like. Maybe some of you may not have had a good man in your life and are jealous I don't know.

Maybe some of you think I should leave him because he has dome problems at the moment but I will not throw away 24 years without a fight.

I will state here and now that Tim would never intentionally harm any of his children or grandchildren and if one of them was accidentally hurt by something he has either said or done the guilt would pretty much kill him.

Now Jeanna for what set Tim off last time it was the fact that he found out that Jessica is paying most of the rent and it makes him feel like she is being taken advantage of. This made him feel like he had to protect her if you felt like one of your children where being taken advantage of you would something to say and we both no you wouldn't be nice about it.

One more thing your son has told me to call him Jono and until he tells me differently I will continue to do so.

Jeanna's comment about Tim

This a comment posted on Blain's fathers blog about my husband read and let me know what you think.

Hey there son...I know there is no need for me to say this, but you know you did the right things for the right reasons. Obviously one of you has to be the mature one...and we both know that that will never be him. Now....what we seem to have is a very SMALL man with an even smaller mind...if at all possible. You have said that he is an influence in Blain's life...an unfortunate truth...but know the question yells to be asked...what sort of influence is he? What sort of things will Blain learn from such a person? Face to face threats...your son in the area...text messages...more threats...more phone calls...OMG this just continues!

What is he off his meds again? Drinking heavily...AGAIN?!!! When is this person ever going to GROW UP, though I don't know what I expected he did turn up at the hospital to see his grandson for the first time quite plastered...so the continuation of such behaviour should be of no surprise.

This is not the sort of environment that I personally wanted my grandson to be in and this is why I moved you and Tash out in the first place! Unfortunately I know the FULL extent of the threats...and to all the people involved and how it all started. NOT impressed!! If I want to help my son out that is none of your husbands business and quite frankly he has no right to comment. He was drinking and wanted to pick a fight with Jonathon and any excuse would do. And If there really is need for all that was said to come about....I'll be waiting, I wont be hard to miss, I'll be the one standing in front of my son, not because he needs my protection, but more for personal reasons.

OK...Joanne - as for any conversation between JONATHON (NOT Jono, please take note of that) and the police - under the circumstances you should not be privy to them - now for the dummies - NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. It is privileged information. As for your husband never hurting Blain...I would like a written guarantee... IN WRITING something that I know you cannot give.

If he is drinking and carrying on in front of him what makes you think that Blain will not get caught in the middle of his stupidity? And as for him being in Blain's life forever...if he continues down this path of bad mouthing and threatening his father...at what age exactly do you think that Blain will tell him frankly where to put it and wipe him? Also I think under the circumstances of the company he keeps at your place (referring to one person in particular) who the hell are you to make any comment on who Jonathon has at his house when Blain is there?

And for the record both Jonathon and Blain usually spend half the weekend at my place...so please don't tell me you think that I am a danger to my grandson! I'm not on medication that I refuse to take OR take while I get rotten in front of him. So am I included in "everyone he is around when he is with you"?

Be very careful here, ambiguous (look it up) 'statements', shall we say, from one grandparent in that house is enough to get me fired up...I think you had best make yours clear. We all know that I think that Jonathon and Jessica could keep their house a little more proudly, but if my information is correct Tash does your house, not you, and before Tash was pregnant with Blain Jonathon would complain about all the cockroaches crawling over him as he slept...was it at home..no he was living with you! Don't throw stones. (think about it) Well son I think I've said more than I should once again, but it could've been worse...Up to you whether you post this or not, but at least you know how I feel.

Stay strong and stick with the right path for you and Blain; follow my advice but don't get hurt...I don't need a holiday for that long or that badly..LOL. Love you mum xxx

Entertaining

I have never been one for entertaining and I don’t like unexpected visitors as I am a very private person, however lately I have been feeling different.

I have had a desire to entertain to hold Sunday lunch here instead of at my parent’s place, the problem with that is that my dad doesn’t like coming here because I have 2 dogs and a cat.

He has come here in the past but I always get the feeling that he doesn’t really want to and mum has to make him come. I do get upset and annoyed about this.

Need to be Strong

I know I have to be strong and learn to say what I mean to my daughters as I often seem to tell them just what I think will not cause trouble this is not a good thing and I know it but I am weak. I love my daughters and I don't like to upset them is this a sign of weakness, I don't know maybe it is.

My daughters and my grandsons are everything to me and being a mother and nanna is the job I have chosen, I think I'm doing a good job only my daughters really know.

I know I am not the best housekeeper as I hate housework although I will say that I do not have a dirty house, it may be messy or untidy. My kitchen is cleaned every day and the house is vacuumed at least every second day and I feel like I am forever doing the laundry. So I am not a bad housekeeper just not the best either.

I need to be strong I just wish I knew how.

Common Sence

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago
lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as
knowing
when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't
always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate;

teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;

and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his
condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent
to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted
to have an abortion

.Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband;

churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than
their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.

She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge
settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to
Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

Tim and Me

Last weekend Tim and I went over to my parents place for lunch and while there we had a talk with mum and dad about how when Tim drinks he gets nasty and mean and I think at last he realises that it is not the drinking I object to as much as the way the grog affects him. At first he was upset that I brought it up in front of mum and dad but on the way home he said it was a good idea and it made him see things a bit different.

Mum suggested that I record Tim when is being nasty and mean and I was surprised when he agreed and said he thought maybe I should as he doesn't think he is that bad.

I hope things will be different fingers crossed....................................

Picky People

I find it very annoying when I cook a meal and then no one wants it, Tim has a habit of complaining that I don't cook him meals any more. Well since he works nights he isn't home for the evening meal and if I suggest cooking something for lunch he will say no I will just have a sandwich. The others can be just as bad too, last night I cooked a big casserole for tea but it was ready before Tim went to work and I asked him if he would like some and of course he said no, then I asked if he would like me to leave some out for him to have when he got home and again he said no. He then said "I don't eat that stuff" what a load of rot I know he does.

Kathy had some before she went to work and Tasha had some also along with Blain and then I got a surprise as Jessica decided to have some also even though she only ate a small amount of it. I was happy she at least tried it. Yes I did have some myself also had some for lunch today but my lot will not eat left overs I don't get why I think some things taste better the next day. I think they are just a bit to picky.

Defending Me.......Not

Last weekend while I was at my parents place last weekend dad got angry with mum and started yelling at her and I told him do not talk to my mother like that, he didn't like it but I didn't care I will not stand around and listen to him speak to my mother in a way I don't like.

My children are the same if the hear Tim speak to me in a nasty way they will say something Jessica is the one who does it most and it makes me feel great to know that they will defend me.

Now if only Tasha or Kathy would say something when they see Lucas being a bully and speaking to me and a bad way, Kathy has told me that she doesn't like the way he speaks to me at times but she doesn't say anything and that upsets me more then Lucas's behaviour.

What is worse though is that Tim doesn't say anything when he doesn't like the way I am being spoken to whether it is by one of the girls or by Lucas.

Why is it so hard for them to speak up and say don't speak to my mother like that?

DVDS

I have been watching dvds I borrowed from Bigpond movies call The Ghost Squad it is a British cop show and I have really enjoyed watching them. I would love to be able to have the time to watch more movies and dvds but I just never seem to have the time.

Last night the kids watched Good Luck Chuck on Foxtel Box Office and they said they enjoyed it, Tim also got to watch it when he got home from work which he liked as he complains he never gets to watch movies.

Although Tim has a habit of saving of a weekend when he is home that he never gets to watch the news, and he watches the news whenever he is home. So I get very annoyed with him and he doesn't understand why.

Day Care

Today I am feeling ok aching all over a bit but otherwise not to bad, not doing anything today just staying home and chilling.

At least it has stopped raining and hopefully I will be able to get some washing dried if only I could get motivated to go and peg it on the line...lol

Took Blain to day care and talked to Tasha about trying to find somewhere closer to send him as we really can't afford the petrol taking him out to Jesmond twice a week it is 18km each way and may not seem a lot but when you think that there is about 12 day care centres within 6km of us. The only reason she enrolled him where he is was because his other grandmothers sister is the manager where he is and she also told Tasha she would help pay, but of course she doesn't help pay and his father doesn't pay and it is only Tasha and Lucas who is paying so it should be up to her where she sends him not his father or his fathers mother.

Feeling Sick

There has been a lot of sickness going on in my household this last week, everyone with the exception of Tim has been sick with the flu is it any wonder though with all the cold wet days we have had lately. The only fine day we have had recently was Saturday Sandra's wedding day.

Kathy has been really sick and she has made sure everyone knows it, she is not nice to be around when she is sick (like a man)........lol

On Saturday my 3 girls all felt awful but still went to the wedding although Kathy and Jessica didn't go to the reception. Kathy came home and went to bed and although Tasha and Lucas stayed for the reception they left early and came home and went to bed as both felt sick. They all spent most of yesterday in bed sick as well and today Tasha is feeling better, Kathy is no better if anything she is worse and she has let us know.

Jessica wanted me to take Blain for the day and night but I have been to sick to bother although I did tell her I would take him tomorrow for the day if she likes.

I hope I feel better tomorrow as I hate feeling sick.

I was talking to Tasha the other day about how sometimes you can go from loveing someone to pretty much hating them, she now gets physicaly sick when she sees her ex and if wasn't for the fact that they have a child together she would never see him again.

Why has this happened well it's because he doesn't like to see her happy and she feels he goes out of his way to upset her and to try to destroy any new realationship she has. Seems to be something a lot of men do and it is so childish, he says he is over her and wants her to find someone new but then when she does and he finds out about it he has to cause trouble.

She no longer wants to be around him or see him or talk to him ever again this is sad but it is his own doing as he is a child in a mans body.

I can see her moving away and not telling him where she is.

Pissed off Daughters

Natasha has gone out for the night with Lucas to an engagement party I hope she has a good time as she doesn't go out very often, although her and Lucas have been going out a bit more of a weekend but only the weekend that Lucas doesn't have his son.

Kathy was in a mood this afternoon as Tim told my sister Sandra to put Kathy's furniture on the lawn at the house Kathy is moving out of (Sandra is moving in) anyway they put it on the front lawn. My mum rang me to say that they where leaving the house so I went straight over to watch the stuff, anyway Kathy was here when mum rang and when she found out that her stuff was on the front lawn she went off her head. When she got to the house she started throwing things around and going off at me.

Jessica got pissed off at me also this afternoon as she wanted me to look after Leo for the night but I didn't want to do it as I am very tired and the house is a mess. I know her house would also be a mess but she is the one who keeps telling me Leo is her son not mine.

There are times when I feel like everyone is yelling at me or going off at me for one reason or another.

Cost of Being Unwell

I have been getting really bad headaches even have had a few migraines lately and I really need to see a doctor but I can't afford to go and see my doctor so I am thinking about going and seeing a local one that bulk bills but that said I like my doctor the same one I have been seeing for 15 years. He knows me and my family so I am finding it difficult to see someone else.

However it will have to be done as I need stronger medication for these headaches as what I am taking just doesn't help much.

To make matters worse my arthritis is playing up because I haven't been able to afford to get my tables for that, everything costs so dam much lately and all I can think is I am lucky I am not like my parents who where spending $100 a month on medication now they get it free till the end of the year.

Well its late and I am off to bed hope everyone had a good weekend.

REMEMBER LIFE'S TO SHORT TO BE MISERABLE

Moving Out and Home

My daughter Jessica is moving out of home she is going to share with Jono and his ex girlfriend Ebony. I am a little nervous about this but she has to learn through her own mistakes and all I can do is be there to help her if things go wrong.

My oldest daughter Kathy-Lee is going to move home again when Jessica moves out so it feels like we are never going to have the house to ourselves just me and Tim.

I remember when Natasha moved home she said it would only be for 3 months at the most well now she has no plans to move till either the end of the year or the middle of next year.

Lucky we don't mind having them here.

Wedding Plans Update

Picked the Wedding Cake today will order it on Monday couldn't do it today as they needed a deposit and I didn't have it on me so will have to do it on Monday.

It is a 3 tier cake from Michel's patterisse I took Sandy and showed her and got her approval now I am going to arrange her Hens Night and I know my sister she may say she doesn't want one but she is getting one anyway.

Tonight she was talking to someone about the reception venue so hopefully that has been sorted out, I have paid the deposit for the caterers.

I do have to start looking for a dress to wear.

Planning A Wedding

I'm planning a wedding no none of my daughters are getting married it's my baby sis who is getting married in the first part of June (sorry can't give out the date). I am so happy she asked me to do this but I do worry at times that I am not doing a good job of it.

I have found the caterers as she was going to have the reception at either her house or our mums place but now she is thinking of having it somewhere else as she is worried that it will rain although she still wants the same caterers as they really cheap and there will be lots of food.

She is only planning to invite around 50 people, they don't want a big wedding just close family.

Today she bought her wedding dress and it is a beauitful dress she looks terrific in it, it's a $1000 dress but had been reduced.

I have priced having her make up done proffesional but she doesn't want to spend the money so I think it may be left to either mum or Tasha to do the make up, we are planning to ask Tasha to do her hair for the day. No Tasha isn't a hair dress she is just really good at doing hair.

On Monday I want to arrange the cake wanted to do it today but ran out of time, I also have something else I know I have to do next week but at the moment I can't think what it is.

Never Alone

Lately I feel like I either never get the computer or I am on it for a short while then someone else wants it and it is really starting to bug me as I never get to do much blogging and that is one of my main hobbys now.

I also don't get a lot of time home alone which I really like as I like watching telly alone so I don't have people interupting me all the time. Tonight I am trying to watch CSI and I have Tim sitting behind me taling to me all the time and it is starting to piss me off.

Last night I was home alone with Leo and I started to do some blogging but then I had one phone call after another and got fed up and decided not to bother, then again this morning I started blogging only to have Tasha ring me and want me to go and pick her up so had to stop.

Kathy

Last night I got a phone a text message from Kathy saying she wanted to come home, so I rang her and she was upset and crying. When I asked what was wrong she didn't say but she went I said to her are you just homesick or did something happen she said she was homesick.

However when Tasha spoke to her she found out that Kathy was having problems with the friend from work she went with but they talked and this morning she said she was much better, however that didn't last long as she was upset again tonight as her so called friend was making fun of her about something.

I hate hearing Kathy cry and I have been worried about her so much while she has been away, this so called friend of her is a right little bitch. I wish Kathy had gone away with Natasha or even her boyfriend Chad instead.

Another DVD Recorder

Well the new DVD recorder I bought only lasted a few weeks and then packed it in, this was really annoying at the time as I still had programs on the hard drive I hadn't seen yet. So anyway we returned that one and bought another one this one is a Samsung is only 80gb hard drive the other one was 160gb but oh well I am happy to have one that works.

I haven't told hubby but I want to go and get yet another one for the bedroom well Jessica's bedroom actully as she only has a vcr in there and I don't have any video tapes anymore.

DVD Recorder

Well I have my DVD recorder up and running at last didn’t take long to set it up as all I had to do was connect the cords and turn it in.

I am a little upset with myself as I didn’t realise it was a –R/RW recorder and not one that take both + and –R/RW so now I have to go out and get new disc’s.

So far I haven’t recorded anything on it but I am so happy to have it set up ready to use.

Tim Generous

Man am I tired I am sitting here watching CSI NY and I can hardly keep my eyes open and I had a good nights sleep last night so why am I so tired.

Jessica picked up her car today (see bigblog) and has been out since around 4pm where is she over at Jono's of course. I hope she isn't home to late at least she does take Leo with her when she goes out. I am glad I will not have to catch the bus tomorrow to take Blain to day care, Jessica said I can take her car.

On Saturday while we where out Tim decided to buy a new dvd recorder I was surprise that he did that, he does have a generous side it just doesn't come out very often. He also help Jessica get her car.

Buses

Well today we had to take Blain to day care and of cause I still have no car so we had to catch two buses, when I say we I mean me and Tasha.

Tasha doesn’t like catching buses unless she has done it a few times as she often has no idea where to get off let alone which bus to catch. So I had to go with her.

Anyway last night I sent Tim a text telling him I would need around $15 for bus fares, so he left me $10 and said that should be enough….It wasn’t……...

We had to get up and leave by 7.10am the first bus came at 7.20 but of course was late which meant we missed the next bus and had to wait for the next bus which was half an hour away but of course that one was late too. I think the only one which wasn’t late was the one we missed…

Well by the time I got back to Charlestown where I had to catch another bus to get home it was 10.10am and yes you guessed it I missed the change over bus and had to wait but then I didn’t have enough money which I realised at 10.40am. So I rang Tim and asked him to come and pick me up which he did but by then I was tired had an headache and a back ache I was also hungry and thirsty as I hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since the night before.

I think what made me feel worse was that I felt that since Tim was home at midnight he could have gotten up at 8.30 and drive Tasha and Blain into the day care and be home again by just after 9am when he could have gone back to bed.

Also I was up a few times during the night to take care of Leo as Jessica was feeling very tired and sick in the tummy.

By the time I got home I had been gone 4 hours and I said to Tim is it any wonder people don’t use public transport more when it takes so long and costs so much.

Interfering

I have been told at times that I interfer in my girls lives and I know that is right but I only do it because I care.

Well the other night I overheard a conversation between Tasha and Wog about how Jono wants to talk to Wog about his relationship with Tasha. I think that is Jono interfering in Tasha's life as her relationship has nothing to do with Jono, Tasha said he is concerned about Blain, ok still none of his business.

How would he like it if Tasha tried interfering in his relationships?
Answer he wouldn't.

Tasha has had one serious relationship since Blain was born in fact she has had one relationship period. One new man in her life. How many girls have been in Jono's life?

I hear something about Jono not wanting Blain to get attached to Wog only to have him leave Tasha, well Tasha could say the same thing to Jono about Blain getting attached to some girl in Jono's life but she doesn't as she knows it is none of her business.

Considering that Jono has gone through girls like most men go through socks he really should be minding his own business and no I don't think saying Blain is his business cuts it as Blain is also Tasha's business. Jono doesn't like people to interfer in his life so he shouldn't be interfering in Tasha's life.

Tasha is happy with Wog and that is what matters whether the relationship lasts only time will tell. Does Jono realise he comes across as not wanting to see Tasha happy?

Yes I have interfered again and yes I know I will get told off but what else is new.

The Cost Of Living

I am so fed up with my husband and his tight ass ways, the last two weeks I have not had enough money when doing my food shopping. Last week I had our credit card in my bag and used it for the $30 I was short and when I came home and told my Tim he said give it here "you can't be trusted". On Friday when I did the shopping I had to use $30 of my petrol money and then I didn't get soft drink for me, or milk and bread. I sent hubby a text last night to tell him and when he came to bed he said to me "we will talk in the morning" but the way he said it was not nice.

I think if he starts on me when we talk later today I will tell him he can try doing the shopping instead if he thinks I am not doing a good enough job, I do only have $120 a week for food and there are 6 of us that I have to feed. Yes the girls do give me money for food no that's not right they go and do $50 worth of food shopping when they get paid themselves.

I know only have $20 this week for fuel and I owe my mum $20 which he doesn't know about and believe me he will have something to say about that.

I love him but I am just so over all this complaining about how I handle money.

Lunch was here

Well lunch was here today my parents brought KFC and we also had hot chips, honey soy chicken and cheese and garlic bread pizza. We had chocolate cake for desert I made the cake but it wasn't very nice it was a different brand then I usually make.

Last night Natasha went out for a few drinks with Lucas and her aunty Sandra and Ed. She was home at around 11pm but said she had a good time. Lucas didn't come home with her he went to a 21st party but since she didn't know anyone she didn't want to go.

I am a little tipsy as I write this as I had 2 and half glasses of wine with lunch and wine is what makes me drunk fastest. I am planning to have a couple of scotch and cokes also this afternoon.

Updates

I have my medication now and I am starting to slowly feel better although it will take a bit longer before I am back to normal.

Yesterday we bought a new DVD recorder the type that has a hard drive and it is great to be able to watch and record stuff on both foxtel and free to air. The new recorder is AWA brand and we got it from Big W only cost $255 so that made Tim happy.

Been getting more sleep as Jessica is getting up to Leo at night lately even though at times she gets upset and complains she is too tired to get up, I will get up once during the night to feed him and then I put him back to bed and if he cry again she has to deal with him.

Tomorrow is Natasha's 21st birthday....

Depressed

I have been very depressed and moody the last couple of weeks, I know the reason for this is because I haven't had my medication for over two weeks. In fact I have had times when everything seems so difficult and I have had moments of crying and wanting to be alone.

Tim did give me money for the medication but I some how managed to spend it on food instead. I will not ask him for more money as I don't want to hear him winge about me wanting money from him. I would rather be depressed then ask him for money.

He can be good about money at times but not very often.

I am writing this here as I don't want to hear or read comments from my sisters about how it is all my fault and that the world doesn't revolve around me. This is my blog and I will write whatever I want.

6 Movies

In the last few days I have managed to watch 6 movies this is a big deal for me as I am usually lucky to watch 6 movies a year.

My favourite was the colour purple yes an old movie but one I have wanted to see for years had a bit of a cry during it.

To me a movie is good if I cry during it, or laugh so much I wet myself most movies I see I enjoy but I would say they are great because the don't make me do either of the above.

I am going to try really hard this year to watch at least 2 movies a month. If I sit up all night with Leo a few times I will get some seen....lol

BBQ Lunch & not a Sunday

We had a BBQ at my parents place for my mums birthday and guess what I was/am sick I felt worse this morning but after I came home I went back to bed and slept until around 6pm. When I woke up I was feeling a little better, I only got up because Jessica and Tasha went to the movies and Tim needed help looking after Leo.

I was suppose to make the potato bake but I forgot as I was feeling sick also last night and just didn't think about it. Of cause my sisters and brother had to have a dig at me for not making it and because I felt so sick it made me feel like crying so bro told me not to cry and it was all ok. Normally I wouldn't cry over such a dig but I think it was just because I felt so sick that I let it get to me.

It did rain a bit but not a lot which was good and it wasn't hot or cold just nice.

We even took Blain and he was a bit clingy today not sure why. He was really happy to see his pop pop (my dad) and his nan (my mum), he doesn't get to see them very often.

Me in 2008

2008 is going to be the best year I have had I a long time, why you may ask well it is simple.

I am not going to dwell on things or go to bed depressed or in a bad mood or sad. I will of only good things at bed time this way I hope to sleep better and feel good the next morning.

I have said for a long time that “Life is too short to be miserable” this is something I will remind myself of every day. I have a truly great family who love me and support me so why should I be unhappy.

Even Tim can be a great husband most of the time that is why we are still together, yes he has his faults but mostly his good outweigh the bad.

I will be making more of an effort to show Kathy how important she is to me and not come across as if I am showing her sisters favouritism. No matter how difficult a child she has been she is my precious number one daughter and because of that she will always hold a special place in my heart, even if I am not as close to her as I am to her sisters.

Kathy has a special and close relationship with her dad that I have and I have often felt jealous of that.

This is my year to shine now I just have to figure out how to shine….Any suggestions?

Need a new DVD Recorder/VCR

I need a new DVD Recorder/VCR as ours is stuffed the memory mode came on and now we can't play DVD"s or videos we can still record on the DVD part but the timer doesn't work any more. Also we can't watch free to air through it as we can't change the channels. I was really upset about it at first but then Tim pointed out that we have had it over 5 years and he thinks it has lasted pretty good and it isn't worth the cost to get it fixed so we are going to buy a new one.

Target had them advertised for only $289 but when I rang around to get one the hadn't got any in so I couldn't get it although I did ask about a rain check they wouldn't give me one as it says in the catalogue no rain checks but I felt since they hadn't got any in I should have been given one. I did find a store that would give me one so I now have a rain check I just hope it isn't to long before they get some in.

Life

Life is too short

Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness

Laugh when you can

Apologise when you should

And let go of what you can`t change

Love deeply and forgive quickly

Take chances, give everything

And have no regrets

Life is too short to be unhappy

You have to take the good with the bad

Smile when you`re sad

And always remember what you had

Always forgive but never forget

Learn from your mistakes

But never regret

People change and things go wrong

But always remember

Life goes on!!!!!!

Home Today

My parents arrived home today, they where not gone any where as long as they expected. Kathy rang me as soon as they picked up their car they leave it in the shed at Kathy’s house while they go away.

When they got home I got a text from mum asking where their bread and milk was, I forgot that I was asked to buy them so they would be able to have lunch when they got home. Anyway I rang them and dad spoke to me and told me that mum was angry with me and told me not to worry about it but later Sandra rang and asked me when I was bringing over the bread and milk then when I was at their house dad said he didn’t say that. I was upset about the way dad acted but hey I’m over it now.

I asked dad why he didn’t send me an email about the trip home and he said he had nothing to say I thought how lame dad you could have thought of something to say if you tried hard enough.

Starting Home

Hi All,

We left Dougs at 0700 on Tues. and took the MH to a Diesel Service Centre to have a 10,000 km service. As this would take about 3 hours, the manager offered us the lend of there small truck to go sight seeing in. We accepted, and drove into Freemantle for breakfast and did some more exploring around.

Picked the MH up at 1100 and started on our return home. We travelled east of Perth towards Hayden, about 320 km. First stop was Corrigin, a small town, 230 km from Perth. Corrigin is famous for holding the record for the most utes with dogs in the back at one time. In 2004 there were 1500 utes, with dogs in the back, stretching 7 km, from the dog cemetery, yes the dog cemetery, 7 km out of town to the town of Corrigin. This record still stands, although Vic. is trying to beat it.

The weather was bloody HOT again, in the 40s, with strong northerly winds. By the end of the day Mum and I werenot to well due to the heat. So we found a free camp site at George's Rock
Pool, about 50 km before Hayden. It was a large area with shady trees and very clean. It was not until about 2130 before it cooled down, we then had a good nights sleep. Got an early start on Wed, and arrived Hayden about 0900. Hayden is a small town in the wheat belt area, and they cater to the tourist trade to Wave Rock. An interesting attraction at Hayden is the welded figurines in the parkin the town. 4 km on from Hayden, and one of the reasons for us coming this way, is Wave Rock. You have probably seen photos of Wave Rock. It is a large rock formation in the shape of a large ocean wave. We explored the base of it and when I said I was going to climb it, there are steppes to the top and walkways around it, I was surprised when Mum said she would go too.

We got to the top and walked a couple of hundred metres around, but the going was very difficult due to the curvature of the walkway. So we returned the way we came. I was knocked up after it, so imagine how Mum was feeling.

We had lunch in the restaurant at Wave Rock then returned to Hayden to fuel up. A lot of the places around here are called something Rock, such as Bruce Rock and other Rock's I can't remember.

The second reason we travelled this way was because we did not know if the road via Southern Cross and Kalgoorlie was open yet. it has been closed due to the bushfires. We heard it was open before we left Hayden but decided not to chance it.

So we travelled via Lake King and Ravensthorpe to Esperance. We had intended to stay in the overflow area at Esperance, as we did on the way out, but we found it was no longer available. The place is still full with holiday makers, as we could not find anywhere to stay we continued on towards Norsman. Found a free camping spot about 100 km out. Ok here for the night.

Dad / Den

Dad visiting his brother Doug

Hi All,

We arrived at brother Dougs in Southlake, just south of Perth, on Saturday at about 1200.The run from Manjimup to here was good, we did not do any sight seeing as we have travelled
this way before, in 2003 and again in 2006. Doug, Viv and the two kids are well, although Doug is still a pain in the arse at times.

Did not do much on Sat arvo or Sunday morning. We just wanted to have a rest day, although on
Sat arvo Doug dragged me off to visit one of his friends for a couple of hours. It was OK in the end.

On Monday Doug left for work at 0500 and Viv left for work at about 0900. After breakfast Mum and I packed up the MH and went for a drive to Freemantle for some sight seeing.
Then drove back to a large shopping centre, so Mum could get a hair cut and do some shopping.
It is that hot here, must be in the 40s again. Too hot for any outside activity, so we are inside the MHwith the A/C going flat out.

Tomorrow, Tuesday, I have the M/H booked in at 0700 to have a regular service before heading home again. We will have breakfast at McDonalds after the M/H is finished, then
head off. Not sure which way we will have to go, as we had planned to travelled via Kalgoorlie.

However due to the bushfires in that a that area the road is still closed, at least for the next 24 hours. If the road is not open, We will have to go via Esperance again.

All for now.

Dad / Den

More about Mum & Dads Trip

Hi All,

The run from Esperance to Albany was uneventful, the scenery was a little better. Albany is a large town / small city, built on the beautiful Princess Royal Harbour and King George Sound.
The place is full with holiday makers and tourists, we had some trouble finding a caravan park with vacancies. We finished up backtracking 10 km to a c/pk we passed on the way in, not
much of a park, bit of a dump I thought.

We left the park about 0800 and travelled to town and had breakfast at McDonalds.Then did some touring around the place. One of the places we visited was Mt Clarence, overlooking the town, a good view.

The other place was The ANZAC Memorial and Princess Royal Fortress, mum and I had been there before and wanted to see it again.This is on top of a mountain and here are spectacular views overlooking King George Sound. I personally think this is one of the best views I have seen. The ANZAC Memorial is also worth seeing.When Australia sent troops to fight in WW1, a lot of them sailed from King George Sound. In 1914 there was 36 troop ships and some escort vessels, that sailed from there on one day. They left in a line one after the other, it was recorded as a very spectacular sight. Many of the men never returned.

It was well after lunch before we hit the road again.The next stop was Walpole, this is were The Valley of The Giant Trees are. There is a walkway that rises above the Giant Trees. I took the walk, but mum could not make it, as it was too steep and long for her. They offered her a wheel chair, but I would have to push, but she declined, I am glad to say. The giant Red Tingle trees are spectacular, the strange thing about them is that the base of a lot of them are hollow. Some of the have a cavity in the base that would hold about 6 people.

After we left Wapole, we started to look for a free camp site for the night. Well what a disappointment that turned out to be, after travelling a couple of hundred km. we found nothing worth stopping at. Most were too small or very dirty, mum deserves better than that. So we came to a little town about 300 km from Albany, called Manjimup, we booked into the caravan park here for the night, nothing fancy, but clean, quite and cheap.

Dad / Den

Trip Day 5

Hi All,

Tues 4.1.08

Well what a difference a day makes, hot yesterday, Monday, 47 & 48 deg C. Today it was overcast, windy & would you believe, it was cold most of the day.

We left Nullarbor Roadhouse at 0900, stopped for a couple of photo shots and scenery, really not much to look at until WA border. At Border Village we were going to fuel up, but diesel was $1.89.9 so we decided to go to the next stop, Eucla 12 km away. It was cheaper there at $1.68.4.

At Border Village you have to go through a quarantine check station, no fruit, vegies, plants or honey aloud in WA. After fuelling up at Eucla, which is on top of a hill, you come to the start
of the Eucla Pass. The view from the top is spectacular, looking down into the pass you can see the flat landscape for as far the eye can see, ahead to the west, and south on your left. To the north, on the right, there is a mountain range about a kilometre away. This range runs parallel to the Hgy for about 170 km, for 43 km it looks the same height and one mountain, no brakes, peaks or gulley's, I found it unusual, but after a couple of minute it all become dreary and boring for the next couple of hours.

At Cocklebiddy there is a turn off that goes to the coast, 36 km. of dirt road. Out there is the Eyes Bird Observatory in the old Telegraph Station. I was going to go out there, but decided I did not want to travel on another dirt road. Besides, I have seen old telegraph stations before, there all the same, just another old house.As far as birds go, I can sit in my kitchen and watch Maggie and the Asian fighting. That's NOT Mrs Kelly, its Magpie and Asian Miner birds.

Time to refuel again, stopped at Caiguna, the diesel here was $1.90.9, it hurt, but I had to get it. Thieving mongrels. Caiguna is to start of the longest straight road in Australia at 146.6 km.
but it is not level,ups and downs all the way We travelled 43 km along it and found a good large free camp spot for the night. You would not believe it but I started the genny and the air-conditioner started running, as mum forgot to turn it off when I disconnected the power at Nullarbor Roadhouse Cv/pk. The genny is now running the A/C good now.
We think the hot weather must have been the problem, the A/C techo who repaired it at Nyngan told me that most A/C were not designed to operate in the kind of temperatures we have been experiencing.

Wed 2.1.08

We left the free camp site at 0745, nothing of interest for the next couple hours.Stopped at Balladonia Roadhouse for a brake. It was in this area on 12 Jul 1979 when the American unmanned Skylab Space Craft crashed, a part of it is on display at the roadhouse. Also this is the area of The Nullarbor Nymph. In 1971 a couple of roo shooters, night spotting, reported seeing a beautiful young blond woman, naked, frolicking with the roos. A number of overnight tour coach drivers reported seeing the same. Reports have been received up to 2007, last year. Tall story??

I told mum, that on the way back we might travel a night through this area. After some further thought, if in 1971 she was say 18, then in 2008 she would be 55 now. So I don't think I will bother. Anyhow with my luck she wound be an old drag queen.

Came to the end of the Eyre Hgy at Norsman at 1200. Fuelled up at $1.59.9 p/l, back to a reasonable price. Also topped up our water tanks.

Arrived at Esperance at 1500, The place is packed. Not only with holiday makers, but due to the bush fires in the Kalgoorlie area, all roads to there are closed. Travellers to and from Perth would normally go that way. So now they have to travel via Esperance. All the caravan parks are full, so we were directed to an overflow area, which is the show ground. It's OK here,
we have power, water and toilets. There is about 18 other MHs and vans here.

We thought it was free, but the council ranger came and collected $22.00 off us all.

Dad / Den

Trip day 4

Hi all,

Well we left our free camp spot at Ayre's Water Hole at about 0845. The run to Ceduna was OK, the scenery was a little better, as we travelled through some pastoral areas.

Arrived at Ceduna about 1030 and it was already HOT. We needed some
supplies, so found the local IGA store, I was surprised at the amount of people in the store and came to the conclusion that most of them were only there to take advantage of the air-condition.

We walked outside and almost fainted from the heat, funny thing though, there were local aboriginals out side dressed in long pants, long sleeve shirt, woollen beanie, woollen footy socks and sneakers, scary.

We fuelled up and topped up our water tanks at the servo. I was talking to a
man there who was complaining his car was running on LPG, he had an 80 litre gas tank and because of the heat, it would not take much more then 30 litre. We could not get going fast enough so we could enjoy the A/C in the cab.

We travel the Ayre Hgy across the Nullarbor for the next 1200 kms.to Norsman. I was talking to a couple of ladies travelling in a motorhome at Ceduna who were also travelling our way and
they mentioned staying at Fowler Bay overnight, I had also thought of this so we decided to check it out.

Fowler Bay is 20 kls off the Ayre Hgy and 16 kls of this was dirt road.We arrived there at 1230, checked out the caravan park and was told $25.00 per night with power but not allowed to use our air-condition.

Told him to stick it, we only came so we could use our air-condition. We parked next to the bay and had lunch. While there the 2 ladies I was talking to at Ceduna arrived and I informed the about the caravan park. We back tracked 20 klm back to the Ayre Hgy and continued west.

Stopped at Nundroo Roadhouse for a brake and checked the fuel price it was $1.48.9 litre, not bad, cheaper then Ceduna but I did not get any as I had 3/4 of a tank. I had intended to fuel up at Yalata as I knew the fuel at Nullarbor was expensive. You would not believe it but Yalata is now closed.

Before Nullarbor Roadhouse we turned off and travelled 12 kls to Head Of Bight. During the whales watching season, June to October, it is said to be the best place to view them, as you are
high above a sheer cliff drop, and the water below is very deep, the whaled are close to the viewing area. Although there were no whales to see, it was a very enjoyable place to visit and view the ruggered coast line. However the flies were something else, we stepped out of
the MH and were attacked by thousands of flies, jumped straight back in the MH to get the fly mesh that covers your face, I bought 2 a few weeks ago just for this purpose, but I can't find
were I put them so we covered ourselves with fly spray and away we went. That was a wast of time, as I think they ad a feast on the stuff.

Back to the Ayre Hgy and on to Nullarbor Roadhouse, need some fuel. You would not believe it, but the fuel here is $1.88.9 cpl for diesel, 40c a litre more then the one I did not top up at before.

The heat here is unbelievable, HOT. We decided we could not free camp in this heat, so we booked in to the caravan park here at Nullarbor Roadhouse. It seems a lot of travellers had the same idea, as the place is almost full. I found out from the attendant here that the temperature here was recorded today as 47 deg C. It was that hot, the water in our MH tanks was almost too hot to shower in. The DVD player would not work until I cooled it down by holding it in front of the airconditioner for 5 min. It has cooled down a lot as I write this.

The 2 ladies in the motorhome that went to Fowler Bay also arrived here and are staying at this caravan park, I would say they were not impressed with no aircondition at Fowler Bay also.

Dad / Denis