Monday, 10 November 2008

My Life


Lately everything seems to causing me stress I am so tense all the time, I am worried about Kelli as she has been sick lately and in a lot of pain and the Dr doesn't know why,bloody doctors. She tells me not to worry but that is easier said then done.

I am tired of hearing my girls complain about stuff sometimes I think they just like to complain. I can't fix everything but they act like they want me to and it is annoying as they are all grown women now. Two of them are mothers themselves but still they want me to do a bloody lot for them. One of them will complain about stuff she could do herself but chooses not to.

They all complain about having no money well guess what I also have no money and if anyone tells me to get a job I will scream as I am married to a man who has a good job and can afford to support me, also with the way the country is now I don't think people who don't need to work should as there is not enough jobs to go around.

I am sick to death feeling like a fat cow and I know I am not that fat but it still doesn't change the way I feel it really sucks. I do walk and I do not eat a lot of junk food but still I can't lose weight or slim down a bit.

Jessica is always complain she can't cope with Leo but gets pissed off with me when I try to offer advice about how to cope with Leo. She likes to say that she can't learn and doesn't know how to learn and I just want to scream.

Tim is still drinking but seems ok but he is still annoying when he is drunk like all drunks of course. I love him but it is still frustrating.

How am I suppose to cope with all this stress everyone wanting me and not feeling like I am not doing enough for them. I try and try but still I feel like a failure at times.

I know it is normal for people to take their anger out on whoever is around but why does it often feel like that person is me.

I wish at times I could just stop eating and do nothing but walk and walk and walk to be fit healthy and slim.

I hate feeling tired all the bloody time and listening to my girls and husband say things like you are always sleeping in that voice that really upsets me like it is something I like doing just for the fun of it.

I know life is not meant to be easy but does it have to be this bloody hard.

9 comments:

  1. To Ms. Jo-Anne

    I have just read some of your posts. I would like to read the rest later, as I liked the rich language you used while writing.

    I am a writer. If you are interested in short stories and paintings, then a flying visit to my blogs would be a good idea.

    Naval Langa

    ReplyDelete
  2. its time you stood up and told your girls to get out in the real world and you perpetuate your misery by complaining about things you cant change the people who you refer too dont want to change because you enable them to continue thier pattens aslong as you keep enableing the behaviours you will be miserable and feel like you do

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  3. Jo-anne you really must start gettung tough with these girls of yours....
    As you said, they are mothers themselves....
    You know me and how I feel about my kids, I would do anything for them, but at the same time they need to help themselves....
    From what you have written you are not getting the moral support nor the respect you deserve....
    You have to be strong....Otherwise you will become a dribbling mess....I know things can get us down but with the way you are feeling about yourself having so much negativity around you isn`t helping you any....
    You need to look after yourself, your kids are not babies anymore....You have to have me time , you`ve done all you can for them now Jo-anne...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Naval langa

    Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment I will go and check out your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  5. To Anonymous

    My daughters have been out in the real world but have move back home because they couldn't afford to continue living out of home however they will reach try to move out again sometime within the next 12 months.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Mandy

    You are right everyone tells me the same thing and I am trying I don't often write about how I am really feeling.

    The last few days I have been telling my girls a lot to speak to me with more respect but it is like talking to a brick wall.

    Only today again I had trouble with Jessica as I told her to not yell at Leo and she went off her head about me calling her a bad mother....etc etc......I am so over hearing it.

    I have to keep reminding myself that they will get over being pissed with me and they will not hate me or stop me seeing my grandsons.

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  7. Poor Jo-Ann you are sounding low.You are being so kind to your daughters letting them live with you and helping with the grand children I can't understand what they have to complain about.
    You said you would like to walk more. How about everytime they start to complain or get you down just go for a walk. It'll calm you down and keep you fit. It will give you some "me" time. I find it very theraputic. Good luck. Hope you feel better tomorrow.

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  8. Jo-Anne I can see that coffee is definitely needed.
    I am leaving my message here as I cannot get onto you BigBlog and e-mails are being returned.
    Thanks for notification about the mail. I do know those people and wonder how it ended up with you.
    Thinking of you Chez

    ReplyDelete
  9. I was wondering if you ever thought of changing the layout of your site?
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    could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text
    for only having 1 or two pictures. Maybe you could space
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    ReplyDelete

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