Forgotten Victims

What a day it is another bloody hot day, at the moment I am watching Daemon while Jessica and Kelli have gone to do some Christmas shopping. I have all 3 air con’s going to keep the house cool, had them all going yesterday as well.

Today I want to write a little about the forgotten victims by that I mean people who witness terrible accidents or the drivers who are not at fault but who still end up killing someone.  Think about the poor train driver who hits someone on the train line because the person either chose to stand or lay on train tracks in order to die, or because they were so drunk they didn't know where they were and wonder onto train tracks and get hit by a train. The train driver has to live with the knowledge they killed someone, or even worse is the poor train guard who has to wonder back down the line to see what the train hit.

Yes it may be an occupational hazard for many like train guards, rescue people, police officers but they are still victims they have done no wrong and are exposed to horror.

For far too many years these people were overlooked, even though we all know about post traumatic syndrome now days it doesn't make things any better, just because something now has a name it doesn't stop it happening.

We all know that these people have done no wrong and in fact may be trying to do good, but still they have to experience such terrible things and witness such horrible events and often they will not talk about what they have witness.  Many men feel that it makes them weak to say they are having nightmares because of the horror they have witness, so they suck it up and push on saying nothing and suffering in silence.

Many people turn to alcohol to try and made the memories go away, and then they are ridiculed because they have a drinking problem.  Their loved ones try to help but because they don't really understand the horror they have going through their head they are unable to help.

Sometimes I think those who have died and their families are given far more support than the forgotten victims. We all need to remember when we see a horror crash on the road that there are more victims than just those who are hurt or killed. 

Sunday Morning, and a bit about boredom

Good morning blogland, how is everyone this lovely Sunday morning, I have been up  since 6.30am with Little Leo and I have told Jessica to pick him up around 10am, I want to get the Christmas presents wrapped and placed on the table today, also want to do a load of washing and get it pegged out.  Of course I have a house that looks a right mess at the moment but it will not take long to get it looking better. 

I also have a small pile of letters to answer and I want to finish my Christmas cards and get them into the mail tomorrow.

What does everyone else have planned for the rest of the weekend?

I was thinking yesterday afternoon as I waited for Tim and Leo to finish looking at the bus Tim drives for work, I had to drive Tim into work to pick up his charter sheet so he had the right time to be there. 

Anyway I was thinking while I was waiting about how it is rare for me to feel bored, yeah I generally don't get bored but sitting in a car waiting for someone without a book to read or something else to do then I can get bored.  

Boredom is something the youth of today seem to suffer from a lot, I have heard my daughters say often that they are bored and when I hear them say it I think how can you be bored you are not just sitting around waiting for someone you are at home, how can a person be bored when they are home, for me there are many things to do when I am home, like blogging or writing letters, or doing housework. 

I feel that many young people expect others to entertain them and also feel they must always be doing something exciting when in fact life is often run of the mill and we have to be able to think of things to do that will keep us amused or at least busy. 

Which would you rather do, a little Q & A

1. Would you rather eat at a fancy restaurant or eat a good home-cooked meal? 
Good home cooked meal, I am not one for fancy restaurants, I think they charge to much and give you too little.
2. Would you rather go on a road trip to a big city or go to the country? 
Country I think love the scenery of the country but also love the city but I will stick with country. 
3. Would you rather receive $100 a day or $100,000 right now?
Although $100,000 would be great to have I think I would prefer $100 a day that way I always have money to spend and can't waste it on something I really don't need. 
4. Would you rather it be summer all year round or winter?
Neither I prefer spring when it is neither too hot or to cold, but if I could only chose between summer and winter than I will pick summer I think.
5. Would you rather watch tv or listen to music?
When I was younger the answer would had been music now as a middle aged woman I will go with watch tv, funny how we change as we age. 

The Future

The future the big unknown, do you worry about it?

I don't, I live in the here and now and honestly don’t give the future much thought at all, for a number of reasons but mostly because what happens, happens and I have little to no control over it so what is the point in worrying about it.

So if you had a crystal ball and could look into the future would you?

I kind of would like to look into the crystal ball but at the same time I don't know if I would want to know what the future holds.

Life is adventure and the thrill of an adventure is not knowing what is around the bend, well that is what I am told since I am not one for adventures for many reasons but the big one is that I am a chicken………………lol

However, it would be kind of cool to look at what my life would be like in say 5 or 10 years’ time, although I think if I could see what my life would be like then I would also like to be able to decide if I could retain or delete the memory.

Happiness

Happiness is not determined by what’s happening around you, but rather what’s happening inside you.  Most people depend on others to gain happiness, but the truth is, it always comes from within.

Are you happy?

How do you know you're happy?

I am happy, I am happy with my life and I feel not only happy but loved and content.

However there is these adds on telly that has people asking each other “happy” and when he sees it Tim has said how do they know they are happy, so I asked him if he was happy with his life and his reply was I don't know, I guess I am more or less. He then went on to complain about a heap of things he is not happy with, like not getting a permanent position at work or Leo getting into his stuff.

So I said yeah there are things that we are unhappy with but for myself I am happy with my life, I am happy being married to him and having a loving family around me.

I think at times people like Tim focus on the little things that make them unhappy instead of the big picture overall is your life good, do you have people around you who love and care for you, do you have a content feeling.

Happiness for me is an overall feeling, it is not centered on one thing and as such it takes more than one thing to make me feel unhappy with my life. Like my weight it isn’isn't what I want it to be but I don’t let it upset me, it is what it is and I am the only one who can change it.

Little Ones do they stress you out or are you laid back

Good morning all, well it is a lovely day here in Newie the sun is shining and so far it’s not too hot, I hope it stays that way.

Well the weekend is over and what a weekend it was, I was pretty busy this weekend. On Saturday morning Tim and I took the dogs into the RSPCA and surrender them although I have to go back with Kathy-Lee today because DC was in her name and she had to sign the paperwork to surrender him.

Then yesterday I was babysitting, I had Leo and Daemon from the time we all woke up and Sydney-May and Summer from around 11.30am to 3.30pm while Kathy and Michael went Christmas shopping. So for a couple of hours I had a house of little ones, Sydney was so excited when she say Leo here and all the kids had fun running around and playing together. Leo even told Summer to follow them outside and I had to explain she is too little to go outside to play.

So that brings me to today’s question when you are watching a few little ones do you stress about what they are doing or what they are getting into and over what they will or won't eat.

Me I am pretty laid back I don’t care if they go out the back to play or if they are running up and down the hallway. I put the tv onto a kids channel and if they drag out a heap of toys that is ok too, I even don’t care if they jump on my bed, in fact yesterday Tim took Syd into the bedroom so she could have some fun jumping on our bed.

For lunch I made some chicken nuggets and chips and just sat it on the little table in the lounge room and told them to eat and they did most of what I made was eaten.

Now as much as I love having the little ones here, it did feel good when they all left, Jessica took Leo and Daemon back to her house and after Michael picked up the girls the house was quiet and I was about to sort out our weekly medications.

Kelli and Daemon arrived back here around 7.30pm a bit earlier than planned, she and Jono went to a concert in Sydney and she got hurt so they were home earlier than expected, they are also sleeping in since it is now 8.33am and they are still not up.

Yesterday I managed to do all the laundry and the ironing and vacuum out 3 times and put the Christmas tree up so I have very little to do today.

 I do have to drive my sister Sue to Jessica’s place around 9ish as she is going to clean Jessica’s house for her. Jessica is one of those people who hate housework, there is nothing wrong with that many women hate it, me included and I don't mind paying Sue to give it a good clean and Sue could do with the money.

Cry Baby................or crying is ok................

Well good morning all, today in Newcastle it is supposed to be a lovely day on the hot side, I am up dressed and waiting for Summer to arrive, I wonder if it will still be morning by the time I get to post this. It is hard at times to get things done when I have Summer.

Today I want to talk about how Silence is often the loudest cry.

There’s always some truth behind ‘just kidding,’ knowledge behind ‘I don't know,’ emotion behind ‘I don't care,’ and pain behind: ‘It’s okay.’  So pay close attention to how people feel, especially those you care for most.   Sometimes what a person needs most is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

I know myself when I am truly hurting I will say nothing, I will try my best not to let others see me cry, or how much they have hurt me. I can't tell you why I do this I just do, maybe I don't want to appear like a “cry baby”.

I feel that adults and often men more than women will teach children that it is not ok to cry, how often have the words don’t be a “cry baby” been said to a child who is crying over nothing. I think it would do for people to remember that crying if okay even if it is over nothing and instead of putting the child down for crying to give them a hug and say in a calm and soothing voice that it’s okay to cry but really is it that bad. Then talk it through and explain why you feel they are crying over nothing and why it isn't so bad, or if you think the child is just crying for attention than explain to the child that they don't need to cry to get your attention.

Of course it is not that easy to not get all bent out of shape and angry with a child who is crying just for attention but if possible take a deep breath and remain calm and talk to the child in quiet and calm voice.

If the child is crying because they have fallen over and hurt themselves than there is no reason to get angry the child needs to be comforted and not told to stop crying because “boys” don't cry that in my opinion is sending the wrong message to the child.

I get really annoyed when I hear someone put a child down because the child is crying, crying is the first way we learnt to communicate.