Opp and Freezers

At long last I am off to hospital on Friday to have my opp to fix my incontinence and I hope it works as I hate being how I am. I have been on the waiting list a bit over a year and got a letter with the date at then end of October then got a phone call telling me that it had been cancelled then a week after that I got another phone call to tell me that it is back on so I am off to hospital on Friday fingers crossed they don't cancel on me again.

Over the weekend I got stuck in and changed bedrooms around and sorted out stuff which involved throwing out a lot of junk which is now sitting in the trailer on the front lawn I hope hubby takes it to the tip sooner rather then later.

I also need to get hubby to go over to my brothers and pick up a chest that belongs to Kathy which she wants and also a chest freezer which he said I can have that I have to clean out as it smells and get rid of the smell and then we can use it. However my dad now wants the freezer so if hubby doesn't get a move on we will miss out on it and then we may have to buy another freezer as we have Chrisco and Castle hampers coming in a couple of weeks and the freezer we already have is full as Hamper King hampers came last weekend.

Sisters wedding

Well last Saturday was the day my sister Sue became a Mrs again after years of a on off relationship with Mick. I do truly hope she is happy this time around. She looked beautiful and happy.

I didn't stay long at the reception as Kathy was my ride home and she felt uncomfortable there as I did as well, the same goes for my parents and a couple of my nieces. I would have liked to stay longer but since I was uncomfortable I was glad to leave.

Tim came to the wedding with me but he couldn't stay long as he had a 1am start and wanted to leave early enough to be able to get some sleep before he had to start work.

There where bikers there and they worn their leathers/colours and there where bikes out the front and I really just didn't feel at ease.

Sisters Upcoming Wedding

Well to those who comment on my last post I want to say a big thank you, I wish I could say I am feeling better but alas not for more on that see my bigpond blog.

Here and now I wish to speak about my sister I will mention no names as I am not sure she would like me to ok. Now she is getting married next month it will me her second marriage and the mad she is marring is someone she has had an on again off again relationship with for years. They have a tendency to fight a lot and there have been times when she has walked out on him because he is drinking and yelling at her and they are fighting.

Now don't get me wrong I am not saying I don't like the man as he is a nice enough guy as long as you know he is a bullshitter and you can't believe half of what he says. He is in fact my brother in-laws brother so when they get married my sisters will be marred to brothers. Just thought I would throw that in there.

Now the wedding will be in a park and the reception will be held at a outlaw bikers club house this is the bit I have a problem with and I am not the only who has a problem Tim isn't happy about it and neither is my mother or any of my daughters. However of course I will be going as she is my sister and I love her, she doesn't seem to think there is anything wrong with it.

Mum told me that she said that the only biker that will be there is the one who will be cooking the meat and that she thinks the main reason they are having it there is because they don't have to pay to use the club house just for the meat. She has asked me to arrange for side dishes and to order the cake which I will do, in fact I am very happy to do it.

Just an update

Here I go again I have not been able to post here the last few times I have tried so I will try again. Now how have I been lately well so so except for yesterday when I spent the whole day in bed sick as............................

Other news......... my dad is doing ok he had Chemo again on Monday I think this may have been his last lot of Chemo, he still has to have radio therapy I am hoping at some point he will start to look better as lately when I see him I feel like crying. I don't like seeing my daddy looking so frail.

Tim is still trying to reduce the amount he is drinking although he is still most nights drinking far to much at least a litre of wine a night which is down from the 1.5 to 2 litre he was drinking each night but still a ways to go. He told me he wants to stop drinking by Christmas.

I have had my medication for depression increased again as when I saw the doctor on Tuesday I started crying when talking about my dad, and my girls and how I can't get just one day a week to myself without someone ringing me (usually everyone rings me) or calling in. Like on Tuesday I sent Natasha a text telling her I had a Dr app and could she take me it was in the afternoon but she turned up at 11.30am and got upset with me when I asked you she was here so early and acted like I was the one who was in the wrong because I didn't want her here.

Life feels so hard lately and I often wonder what is the point of anything and I am getting terrible tension headaches again I haven't had tension headaches in years and now I am getting them daily again, I often find myself just sitting with the feeling that everything is just to hard and what is the point of trying anymore. I often feel like I just want to go to sleep for a long time and when I wake up everything will seem easier and better but it's not going to happen.

I hate the way I look I have become so fat and unfit I can't walk very far anymore and that depresses me my clothes don't fit and I want to change things but can't seem to make it happen nothing I do works and yes I do have times when I wonder why I bother but I am still trying. Things have to improve at some point I just don't know when.........................................

Just about me

Here I am back again been a while since I posted here just not been feeling up to doing much lately as I have been so sick and even now I am still coughing so much it sounds like I am tring to cough up a lung................

Things here a going great between me and Tim, I am slowly starting to feel happier with my life I still have a lot of bad days where I wonder what is the point. I would like to spend more time home alone but there is always someone turning up and they just don't get that I need some alone time.

How do you say leave me alone without sounding rude?

I can't seem to say it without offending and upsetting my daughters.

Last night I was home alone, Tim stayed out at Cessnock as he is working again today and it was great being home alone.

Tonight I have Leo again.................................Jessica has a house inspection tomorrow and wants to clean up ready, I don't know I just can't seem to be able to say no and even when I do the girls don't like to take it as an answer and will ask me over and over again until I end up saying yes.

Not Only On TV

Now this is something I always thought you only saw on TV or maybe YouTube but never really thought it happened. However today I found out that does really happen as it happened at the petrol station my daughter works at, while she was at work.

She had just finished serving a customer when she heard a loud bang and looked outside to see a man in his 4 wheel drive driving away from a pump with the hose still in his petrol tank. Her first thought was oh shit what to do then she remembered and hit the emergency stop button, then she walked out the back and said shit shit shit a man has just pulled out a pump the guys walked out had a look told her to ring the boss and started cleaning up the spill.

She was glad it didn't happen while she was the boss.....................although her boss had never had it happen to him either and wasn't sure what to do, he had to ring head office and find out.

At least she said she it wasn't a boring day at work...............................

Feeling Like.......................................

Work up with a cough this morning and feeling like shit and just as I got up Natasha and Blain turned up. When I asked what she was doing here it came out wrong and sounded like I didn't want her here, which wasn't the case as I was already thinking about going back to bed which I did after I had breakfast as I just didn't feel like doing anything. Even watching telly was to much of an effort couldn't concerntraite.

I also have Leo tonight as it is Jessica's poker night, I hope Tim will be able to help me with him I think I will be back in bed soon and I expect to have an early night. I want to be feeling better by tomorrow morning as I have to go shopping tomorrow, I only go out shopping on Fridays as a rule.