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Monday has rolled around so that means
I will share with you another tid bit about hubby and this week I
decided I will tell you about his self esteem it's LOW in fact it is
often very low and this upsets me. He often thinks no one likes him
or that people think he is stupid and I do not know how to make him
think better of himself I hate it when I see or hear him putting
himself down and I will often tell him that I do not like it and
don't want him to do it.....................to which he will say but
it's true I am stupid and I say stupid
things...................grrrrrrrrrr
Yes he does say silly things at times
but hey who doesn't I know I have said some silly things in my life
but that doesn't make me stupid it makes me normal. So I wish I could
get Tim to understand that.
I think the problem goes back to his
childhood when his father would call him stupid on a daily basis and
often smack him around the head because he said something that he
thought was stupid...........but children do say some silly things no
child should be made to feel that what they say is stupid or
wrong....................we have always listened to our children and
have never ever called anyone of them stupid.
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It's such a pity what a parent's words do to a child. Tim is blessed he has you in his life to counteract those bad thoughts.
ReplyDeleteIt is difficult to try to help someone close to you with low self esteem. Just keep telling him how good he is.
ReplyDeleteYa know how many times have we felt the shame or lacked confidence due to another's words, actions toward us...I'm so thankful that the LORD has given me solid ground to stand on...I struggled all my life Jo-Anne with lack of self confidence...sending prayers up for your hubby and you....hugs from Arkansas USA
ReplyDeleteSad. It sounds as if he has spent his lifetime believing poorly in himself. The power a parent has can be scary.
ReplyDeleteHi lady! Having a good eye day so I came to visit. Still can't see what I'm typing though so sorry if I mess it up. I'm sorry about your man. That is sad. No child should be made to feel worthless like that. However until he finds worth in himself there is nothing you can do other than to keep encouraging him to see the good things about himself. For example.. Make him write out things he likes about himself every day. Sounds silly but it helps. Big hugs to you my friend and thanks for sticking with me.
ReplyDeleteHi Shelly...........Yes what a parent says to their children can have long lasting effects both good and bad........
ReplyDeleteHi Diane.......Yes I tell him all the time that I think he is a wonderful man and father
Hi Rhonda........I have told Tim that God made him the way he is suppose to be and that he is a wonderful loving caring man
Hi Barb........Yes Barb he has although it has gotten worse in the last few years......
Hi Craziness abounds........Wow your managed to get here and leave a comment that is great. I will try that about getting Tim to write something about himself each day and see if it makes a difference.
Maybe he'd rather put himself down before someone else does. I do that to myself a lot. I'd rather be the first to pick on me. I think all you can do is tell Tim you love him and compliment him in some fashion every day.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
Hi Janie......You are right he often thinks he will get in first with the put down and when he has been drinking he will be really down on himself. I do try and tell him most days how much I love him and how cleaver he is at things which he is he has figured out how to do things that I couldn't get...............
ReplyDeleteI love Melynda's suggestion. No one should go through life unaware of their worth and value. Remind him that YOU love him and have stuck by him all these years. Tell him he is a good father to his daughters and a loving grandfather to his grandchildren. He needs to acknowledge all the many things he is good at, even little things that are so easily overlooked. In time, he will see that his role has value and he is loved and appreciated for who he is. His past is in the past. He moved on from that the day he married you. It might help if you thank him for one good thing, every single day. Did he take out the rubbish without complaining? Yes? Then tell him how much that meant to you. Did he put his dirty clothes in the wash basket? Yes? Then say how much you appreciate the consideration shown towards you. You get the picture :) Just build him up subtly every day and he'll soon start feeling less negative about himself. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteDesiree.......I do try and tell him most days how much I love him and how proud of him I am yes he is a wonderful father and grandfather. I will share this comment with him on his Facebook page.....
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