Monday, 2 April 2012

Tim & Kathy-lee



Monday is here again and this Monday I feel so so the glands in my neck are swollen and sore and get worse after I have something to eat and I have to eat as I was starting to feel sick in the tummy and needed food.

Anyway I am going to share something else about my darling husband Tim…………………..

When our first born daughter Kathy was born I was so tired after the delivery that I fell asleep and Tim sat beside me held Kathy in his arms for about 20 minutes and I think that time caused them to bond.

She has always been a daddy’s girl preferring her dad over her mum sometimes this has bothered me but it is what it is I cannot change it…………

In Tim’s eyes she can do little wrong note I said little not nothing which is good he can see that she has faults. When there is something going on between me and Kathy he will 9 times out of 10 take her side and she is the same she takes her dads side over mine………

Kathy is like both of her parents I can often see her dad in her but I can also see myself and she is the child both of us wanted, now I am not saying that we both didn’t want our other girls but we both wanted to have a baby straight after we got married……….but when it came to have our other girls Tim had to talk me into having a second child at the time we had her Kathy was 9 months old and I wasn’t sure I was ready to have a second child and then I had to convince Tim it was time to have our third child…………….

So does anyone else think that a child and parent can bond in those first minutes after birth?

I have often wondered if I had held Kathy more when she was first born would we be closer and have a stronger bond……………..


18 comments:

  1. Madeleine.......Thank you they are all Kathy-Lee since her and her dad were to topic of this post.....

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  2. I think so. When I had my daughter, right after they laid her on me for bonding time. I think it could happen with either parent.

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  3. That's a hard one. Sometimes I think it is in the genetic personality. They sometimes are more like one parent than the other.

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  4. I love this story and the pics. Who can say what forges that bond? A mystery...

    Thanks for your visit and your kind comments about Ann.

    Denise

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  5. Ruth.......I do think bonding is complicated I just know I don't think I bonded that much with Kathy-Lee unlike her dad did........

    Diane......Yes I agree about genetics and personality

    Denise......Yes it is a mystery why a child will have a stronger bond with one parent over the other

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  6. Dearest Jo-Anne,
    This is an interesting topic and first time to know about Bonding Time, haha.
    In Japan, I know people sometimes connect this bond thing with family side. If I have a child (she) and think she has stronger ties with my husband, I'd say "She is one of Yamada; (hubby's family name)". Or if the ties with me, I'd say "She is one of Tamaki; (my maiden name).
    You might see we have a family base culture.
    Love you always, xoxo Miyako*

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  7. Thats so sweet, I think dads always have a special place for the first girl.

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  8. Firstly, I hope you feel better soon!

    Yes, I believe that the bonding can happen but I also don't think it's vital. I'm adopted and will be writing about that later today and I'm a daddy's girl for sure.

    Also, D is a step dad and Peanut is his daddy's girl and even though he says it isn't true - she's got him wrapped around his finger LOL

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  9. What a beautiful girl! My oldest is still a daddy's girl, even though she's 25.

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  10. I think all daughters are Daddy's girls, mine are and I certainly was! Hope you feel better soon.

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  11. Miyako......We have the same saying here our daughter Natasha is a Meadows meaning she is like her father's side of the family, Jessica is a Jenkins meaning she is like my side of the family and Kathy is a bit of both.......lol

    Bubbles......I am also a daddy's girl so you maybe right there......

    L.......I hadn't thought about the connection adopted children have with their parents but you are right my cousin is adopted and she was a daddy's girl also it made no difference that she was adopted

    Shelly......Yes she was a beautiful baby and is a beautiful young woman now.......

    LindyLou......Yes I think daughters do have special relationships with their dads I am a daddy's girl and so are 2 of my daughters.....

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  12. I agree with Diane B. It's a personality thing and it's nowt to do with anything you did or didn't do.

    Wait 'til she has her first, if she does (no pressure from me, ;)). Then she'll appreciate all you've done and will continue to do for her.

    Kiddo and I bonded before she was born. I would talk to the mound and when she pushed or kicked me, I poked her back. Had a c-section and when they put her up by my face, she was fussy and wiggly. I said something to her, probably "Hey" and she shut up and stared back at me.

    Or maybe she didn't. I was pretty doped up at that point.

    My point, and I do have one, is that you're her momma and she's your baby. That's a special bond right there and ain't nothing ever going to change that.

    By the way, what is a "snag"?

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  13. Awww the pictures are adorable! So sorry you aren't feeling well. Hope you feel better soon.
    Try to get some rest.
    Blessings, Joanne

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  14. OKinUK......Kathy-Lee has one daughter Sydney-May and she does see things a little different but she is still a daddy's girl and always will be.

    Joanne.....Wish I could say I am feeling better but no I feel worse today.......lol I really love the photo of Kathy in the pink dress....

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  15. I'm doing the A to Z, as you know. I found your comment just now on my post. This post of yours today is lovely.

    I had four children, and they were all different where bonding is concerned. I didn't bond with my oldest daughter until recently -- and she's almost 49!!
    Ann Best, Author of In the Mirror & Other Memoirs

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  16. I don't know why,... but my first born (a daughter) never bonded with me. To this day I have never been able to get close to her, hard as I try and I've always wondered why.
    I see other Moms with daughters and they are like sisters or good friends. That must be so wonderful.

    On the other hand, my second born (my son) was always close to me. Not a mama's boy but a wonderful conversationalist. We could talk about anything together and it would be enjoyable.

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  17. Ann........It is good to hear that I am not the only person to not realy bond with a child.................

    g!oW.......It is really great to hear that I am not the only person to find it hard to bond with a child I hope one day me and Kathy will have a closer relationship only time will tell.......

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