Thursday, 19 April 2012
Forgiveness
Finding forgiveness doesn't come easy for many people my husband is one of those people he will say he doesn't know how to forgive someone. He mistakes forgiving someone with condoning someones actions and admitting that the person who they are forgiving was right, I have told him that I feel when we forgive someone we are letting go and no longer allowing their actions or words to hurt us............
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Not forgiving the other person usually means nothing to them. The forgiveness is for yourself and actually has nothing to do with them. If you carry that negative weight around with you...in a way, then they really do win. I have found that those people aren't going to change or probably ever even acknowledge that they did you or anybody wrong (have their reasons or excuses).
ReplyDeleteThere's a quote, but I can't find it. Something like--Carrying around that bitterness and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You only hurt yourself.
I think people often do worry that forgiving meaning that you condone. But the forgiveness has more to do with release your own reaction--your half of the equation. They never have to know. You never have to tell them. It can be a totally internal reclaiming of your own inner peace and calm. Not always easy, but soooo worth the effort!!
Sorry to go on, but I agree with you. Been there. Done that. Some forgiveness takes a long, long time--but so freeing!! Them--they are just the same. I just keep my distance. ;)
Great post. Strange that I have been thinking about forgiveness a lot today and oyu posted this. It IS hard to forgive. I have a diffiicult time myself. But it has to be done. I find I need a lot of prayer to let things go.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is so difficult for me. I can forgive but I never forget. My mother used to tell me I had the memory of an elephant because I never forget anything. Sometimes I wish I could but that's not how I'm wired.
ReplyDeleteI so agree with you Jo-Anne. We can forgive, or we can let our life be consumed with bitterness. There was a lady on TV a couple of days ago, whose brother had been murdered, and she said that she forgave the killer. My husband muttered 'Tosh'! However, when I explained you have a choice - either to forgive and let go, or let it eat at the rest of your life, hubby could see the point!
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you, Jo-Anne. Hard to forget, but it's healthier to let go!
ReplyDeleteIt is important to learn forgiveness you are right.
ReplyDeleteI'm still working on forgiveness - it ain't easy..
ReplyDeletei have trouble with forgiving people to i guess it stems from me having trust issue I always feel that even when i do forgive i can't forget or trust them again
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is harder than it sounds, but it's so important for healing. My belief is that we can and should forgive people who hurt us,but that doesn't mean we have to forget or diminish the wrong that they did. Good people do dumb/bad things. We all do at times. Hate the deed, not the doer, is my motto. I can follow that about 98% of the time, there's one or two folks I'm not quite there with 'cuz bad seems to be generally who/what they are as opposed to isolated incidents. It's true though, that if you hurt me I will probabably back away some. Trust is fragile and hard to restore once broken. But I always do feel better when I am able to forgive someone. I know I am far from perfect too!
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, when you forgive someone you have to have completely got over it instead of letting it eat away at you even after the apolgises have been done with.
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking my advice about the side bars, the layout of the writing is so much better this way and you'll find you can use slightly bigger photos too.
How right you are. Life is too short to waste holding grudges. If you can do something about it, do so, and if not, let it go.
ReplyDeleteRita......You are free to go on if you like too..........lol I like the quote so true in my opinion........
ReplyDeleteCrystal......I use to have a lot of trouble fogiving people but no more now I am a lot more able to forgive.
Jenn..........I also never forget and I do not think forgiving means forgetting.....
Diane....I can relate to your hubby I have often thought how can someone forgive some who has murdered their love one but if it can be done it will make it easier to move forward
"Auntie" sezzzzzz...Yes I must have posted it before the change....lol
Green Girl.....I can forgive but I never forget the best I can do is push the memory to the back of my mind....
LindyLou......I know it is not easy for many to forgive but it does feel good when we can.
Elsie.....No it isn't easy to do but it does feel good when we can and I never forget even though I can forgive
Becca....Yes once some has hurt me it will take me a bloody long time to trust again
Josie.....Yes I agree I often have said that I may hate the act not the person who committed it, I can forgive but I can not forget I just move the memory to the back of my mind and move forward
Bubbles......Yes I do like the layout better now too, many people have a problem with forgiving such as my husband....
LV........Yes I have more important things to worry about in my life, to hold onto negative feelings toward people......
That's absolutely true - there are still consequences people face - but because we have been so freely forgiven of all, how could we not be forgiving ourselves - marvelous post,
ReplyDeleteKathy