Tuesday, 26 June 2012

You Need To Love And Respect Yourself

Why do some people think they need a man/woman in order to be happy why can't they enjoy thier life if they are single and not seeing anyone. Why do they feel that unless they are in a relationship they are incomplete, now I know many of you will be thinking I have no idea what I am talking about since I have been with Tim for 29yrs and maybe you are right but I also know if i was to lose him tomorrow I will be single and not in a relationship with another man for the rest of my life as he is the only one for me and I do not feel that I need a partner to be complete.

Why do some people always end up with partners who are not good for them, people who bring them down instead of lifting them up and making them feel like they are on top of the world.  Why do they think any relationship is better then being single even a bad relationship.

Why do they not have enough self esteam or self respect to say I deserve better, why do they keep letting someone hurt them over and over again. If the person truly loves you and respects you they will not keep doing things that hurt you, you need to start thinking more about yourself and not just your need for sex but your need to feel loved and wanted and respected.

When you keep forgiving being treated like shit then you tell the person treating you like shit that it's ok for them to treat you like shit because you do not think you deserve to be treated any different. When you are told "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I love you it won't happen again or I will do better" that all good the first time you hear those words but when you hear them over and over and over again they you should relise they are just words and the person saying them says them without any depth they are just words the words that person has learnt work in order to keep you around......................

Why is it you don't think you deserve better? Why do you always put yourself down? What has happened in your life that  makes you think you are not worthy of respect and love because when you keep allowing someone to treat you like shit that tells me you have a low opinion of yourself.............

You are not the black sheep of the family, or a family outcast you are an amazing person someone who has so much strenght, someone who bounces back but you could also be so much more. You need to know that you are loved and respected by those of use who are blood kin to you and yes some of us have not always been there for you and yes there are times when you may be annoying but we still love you and if for some reason you were no longer in our lives then there would be a void that will never be filled..........................

34 comments:

  1. i'm blissfully single the last 6 years or so, i always tell my friends who cant seem to be alone, "A PARTNER SHOULD COMPLIMENT YOU NOT COMPLETE YOU!" great post darlin!

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    1. Thank you and you are right it is great to have someone who compliments us

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  2. I don't know why people feel like that as its actually quite nice being on your own. I think with women though they just want children and don't want that time to catch up on them when they can't have them.

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    1. Yes that could be the case with some women but not either of my two sisters who I was thinking about as I wrote this as they both already have 4 children each......

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  3. Yes well said sis I agree :)

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    1. I don't know which sister this is from but I am glad you agree with me

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  4. Dearest Jo-Anne,
    Luckily, I've never felt being treated like property from my husband, haha.
    Also never felt being a black sheep (haha, thanks for the expression) in the family when young.
    Interesting quotes aren't they, enjoyed reading the words(^_^)v

    Sending you Love from sis-city, xoxo Miyako*

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    1. Never have I am know I am lucky to have such a great man...........

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  5. This is so well said- should be required reading!

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    1. Yes I hope my sisters read this but I doubt they will

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  6. Some women think they can change their mate. Some women come from abusive childhoods also and think they deserve less. Some women have low self-esteems. The list is long.

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    1. Yes there are many reasons why some women stay with someone who does not treat them right......and yes thinking they can change the person is one reason many stay...

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  7. You are so right, Jo-Anne!! There are so many people who don't know how to be alone, it's heartbreaking. When I was alone, after my first husband died, was when I truly found myself.

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    1. Yes that is my sisters problem they don't seem to know how to be alone it is as if they are afraid to be alone...........

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  8. Low self esteem that has been made lower. Wanting to believe love conquers all. Not having truly learned that actions speak louder than words. Not realizing that whether you're a silent, talking, protesting, or fighting doormat...if those feet are still scraping on you...you're still just a doormat. There's a strange kind of egotism in believing that you can help change somebody else...in forgiving somebody else. Extreme feelings of fear and helplessness...and unworthiness. Drama, upheaval, and condemnation have become normal. Not believing you have control over your life...you give it away. In an odd way, they always get to feel they're better than the abusive person...a kind of martyr. Fear of the unknown greater than the known. Believing the threats if you leave (and many women have died trying)...so you have to be willing to die to change your life...and you might die anyways if you don't leave. Dying sooner or later--not much of a choice. And if you have children, they will be left with him...unprotected. It's a complex, many sided issue. Not a simple thing.

    Love them. Listen without judgment. Help and support. Love them.

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    1. Thankfully neither of my sisters are in abusive relationships but they are with men who do not treat them right, breaking promises lying to them and just doing things that cause my sisters pain and upset.

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  9. Hi, Jo-Anne.

    Women stay in bad relationships for a lot of reasons. But I'm with you. It WOULD be wonderful to have a soul mate. I think they do exist, but that's a two-way street. There are two different human beings involved, and you have to be willing to make adjustments. A good marriage is hard work! But one should never live with abuse; should never be a martyr. Being alone is actually very nice. No one to mess up your checkbook, LOL, etc.

    Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my current post. I'm glad to be at least halfway back to blogging so I won't lose touch with friends like you.

    So you have three wonderful grandchildren! Enjoy them!! I plan to post when my 8th and last grandchild, a boy, is born. This will make 3 granddaughters, the oldest 24, and 5 grandsons.

    I do hope you're enjoying your summer. And do continue writing such excellent, thoughtful posts!

    Ann Best, Memoir Author

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    1. Summer??????????? it is winter here and I am all rugged up typing with gloves on my hands it is that bloody cold here..........

      Yes I know some women allow themself to be treated badly and some just don't think they can do better others are afarid to leave abusive partners.......

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  10. Wow so you met my sister huh? I don't get it either. It boggles the mind doesn't it?

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    1. I love my sisters so much which is why it upsets me to see the treated in a way that is not right they deserve better. Good to know I am not the only one with sisters like this...

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  11. Bravo, Always find a way to love yourself first. If you find partner or a partner finds you. It is then truly a compliment to an already great life. Just my thoughts :), Susan

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    1. Yes I am happy with me and I think at times if my sisters thought more of themselves they would not be with men who treat them badly......

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  12. Replies
    1. Me too I am always on the look out for quotes I like

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  13. hi i found your blog via crazy world and became a follower
    i would love for you to visit my blog and follow if you like it.
    http://www.blackinkpaperie.blogspot.com
    thanks
    new follower bev

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    1. Well hello and welcome Bev I will go over and check out your blog but I hope you know what you are getting into inviting me over........lol

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  14. Very sad what some people put up with. Sorry that your sisters are going through that. They must not think very highly of themselves.

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    1. Yes it is pretty sad and my sisters are not alone with putting up with this type of shit......lol

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  15. i agree i love my husband but I've always known that i could totally survive on my own and if anything should ever happen to hubby there will never be another

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    1. Good to hear that I am not the only one who knows that there is only one man for her.......

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  16. I agree with you so much aunty jo! I don't understand it at all! And it upsets and frustrates me that mum is one of these people, I will never understand where her mind is!!!!!

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    1. My darling niece not sure which neice you are but I am so happy that you agree I love your mum so much and feel she deserves to be treated better and like you I don't understand her way of thinking......

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  17. It's me kel, I try and read your blog once a week, I think I'm the only one left in the family that does :( they miss out! But I love this post so much some days I could just rant for hours, I could never ever be that kind of woman, I dont put up with shit LOL

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    1. I thought it would be either you or Heather, I am happy you liked this post and I also don't put up with shit and I know it may seem like I do but your uncle Tim is for the most part a great man who I love very much and he does treat me good. Yes he drinks a lot but he isn't a violent man he just drinks and asleep...........lol Now you are a mum I believe you will always put little Daemon needs first........

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