Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Visiting or Maybe Not

How often do your parents go to your home just for a visit?

Mine never come here and I do not expect them to when I want to see them I go to them and I often speak to my mum on the phone in the evening.

My girls are always complaining that me and Tim do not go to their homes to visit them and when we do go over to their home to drop something off we are in and out not wanting to hang around, usually this is because we are busy and don't have the time to just sit and visit. I know that it is upsetting and frustrating for my girls but it is the way that both me and Tim are and to be honest I do not see either of us changing any time soon.

So I am wondering what happens in other peoples families................


  1. Well, you know that none of my family (except for one sister) comes to my house. I've traveled with my kids 3-4 hours each way for 27 years any time I wanted them to participate in family events. I've extended invitations for multiple events here but always got the excuse (and still get it) that it's too far. Hmmm... same distance for me to travel.

    I spent a lot of time resenting the fact that I was put in that position and no one cared. If I didn't make the effort, they wouldn't either. Now, we have another generation of family who expect my children to hold dual events - one here and one there - so they don't have to make the trip.

    We go to Amy and Rex's house pretty frequently. They know that I sometimes need to get out and Rex cooks dinner for us all. They come here some but our place is very small and they have more room.

    That being said, we also don't go to the other kids' homes unless we're invited. We just don't drop in. Plus, since Ron had his leg amputated, he couldn't get in anywhere. He can barely get into Amy's house and his daughter's house has way too many steps for him (Amy has 2). So, if they want to see their dad, they have to come here now.

  2. Well I just travelled half way around the world to see one of my daughters and we often travel to Sydney to see the other. They come and visit us when they can.

  3. i try to see my daughter and g/kids at least once a week and i see my son once or twice a week. of course it would be more if i didn't work. i'm lucky in that we don't live too far apart.

  4. When my parents were alive, we went to them. The only time they came to visit was when we had holidays. I didn't mind tho' - we lived one town over and it wasn't a big deal to go to them.

    My in laws will come anytime we invite them [they would also be welcome to just drop in, but they aren't that way] and we go and visit them often, plus Pooldad's great Grandmother.

    Is there anything your kids do like?

  5. Funny you ask this--my folks haven't come to my place to visit in 3 years--though they've come within 7 miles of my house. I'm on the bad side of them.
    My mother in law makes it up here once or twice a year now, used to be more often but she's getting older and the drive (a good 5 hours) is a lot. It's tough to live far apart from your core people, but we're lucky to have made friends as our family here.

  6. I moved my Mom closer to me so I see her almost everyday. My brothers and their families however... I hardly ever see them. They have chosen to really follow and stick with their wife's family and that does not really include us. After 14 years of always inviting them and they coming up with lame excuses or sometimes never calling at all I kind of gave up inviting them and it's been two years and they haven't even noticed that I have stopped trying. I have accepted the fact that families change and to be grateful for my husband's family and my mom who love to get together on a regular basis.
    Blessings, Joanne

  7. My mother doesn't travel and hasn't for some time. If she did, I had to drive 3 hours from Connecticut to New Jersey, pick her up and bring her up to us for a week. She was miserable too so I would go down alone and visit with her once in a while. I haven't seen her in 2 years but I talk to her every week. My family is so screwy anyway I feel alone anyway. Fine with me.

  8. Heck if I know. I only see my parents every three to four years as they live in France and I live in America. It's one of those odd situations. However if there is any visiting they usually come here as I have a bunch of kids and the tickets would be to expensive to fly everyone over.

  9. Well, when my parents were alive they didn't really run down my door - lol - I was usually the one going there. But people are different. And now me and my children are spread out in different places,(they are both grown ups) I live in Ireland, my daughter is working in Corsika and my son is home in Sweden doing his music. So it's hard to meet as often as you would love to. But thank God for the today's technology, which helps us to stay in touch and catch up :)

  10. Hi Teresa

    Reading your coment made me think of my husband and the relationship he has with his family. To me with Ron's heath problems it would just make more sense for people to come to you more then you having to go to them.

    It would be great to get out for dinner way to go Amy & Rex for inviting you.

    Hi Diane

    If my daughters lived in a different country then we would of course go to visit them but that isn't the case.

    Hi Yevisha

    Yeah living close together makes it so much easier to see each other.

    Hi SkippyMom

    My parents will come here if we invite them but generally we go to them it is just the way it is but we do live less then 10 minutes away.

    If I didn't see my girls as often as I do and talk to them as often as I do then I would understand them complaining but I see/talk to them daily. Also I come from a family where the kids go to the parents it is just the way we are...

    Hi Green Girl in Wisconsin

    My husbands family are like that they will be somewhere close to us be will not ring hubby and see if he is home and if they can drop in to say hi, this upsets my husband but it is what it is.......

    My family mostly live within 10 minutes of each other and we see each other most weeks.

    Hi Joanne

    Yeah I think my siblings would come up with lame ass excuses if I invited them here but I don't we generally meet at our parents place and we do get together a few times a month and see each other generally on a weekly basis....

    Hi Bouncin' Barb

    At least you talk to you mum weekly some times famliles do not get along not all families are not as close as mine.

    Hi Craziness abounds

    It is different when your parents live in a different country mine are less then 10 minutes from me and as I sit and respond to comments this morning I am waiting for my mum to ring and tell me she is on her way to pick me up. I see my parents weekly.....

    Hi Eva Ason

    When you live in different countries it is different but as you said with the technology we have today it is easy to keep in touch and to even see each other when you have webcam......

  11. i moved my parents in with me 3yrs ago when dad was having health issues so we see way to much of each other somedays

  12. My parents live in Nova Scotia on the east coast of Canada, while I live in Ontario in the centre of the country. I only get to see them every few years. (Two of my siblings also live in Nova Scotia and another lives in Ireland.) We talk on the phone, but it is not the same as seeing them. To be honest, I think I have missed out with my family being so very far away. I consider my sister in Ireland to be my best friend. I wish she was closer.

  13. Hi Becca

    I do not know how I would go having my parents live with me as I like my quiet alone time......

    Hi Jennifer

    I do not know how I would be if my family lived so far apart we like to see each other on a regualar basis.



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