Monday, 5 September 2011

Dear You

I ask you to write a letter to whomever about whatever.
It must begin with "Dear You" and you cannot use names, only pronouns.   

~a chain blog (not at all forcibly) passed on by the amazing nessa.~

Dear You

Why is that people always thinking I am organised and reliable I do not thing I am in fact I feel I am the opposite and yes I plan ahead for some things like Mother's Day and Father's Day and Christmas and birthdays. I have this thing were I love to give gifts and find shopping for presents for my family rewarding, does this make me organised ? Or is it because I have this gift box in which I keep presents for people and when my children need a present to give to someone they will come to me and ask to go through my gift box to see if they can find something.......does this make me organised?

Am I reliable, well if I say I am going to be somewhere I am if I say I will do something I will even if I do not really feel like going or doing it..........why because I have said I would and I do not like to let people down.

Being thought of as organised and reliable can be a drain and it can be upsetting at times why is that well it's because I often feel left out as my siblings will get together to do something usually drinking but they will not ask me if I want to join them.........

Sometimes just being me is hard work and I do not think my family realise that............


  1. I don't think being organized and reliable are why you are feeling so drained Jo-Anne. I suspect you feel that way because everyone is taking advantage of you & you have no mechanism to say no to them.

    Your family expects you to do this and the draining part is your inability to say NO.

    I hope you get some rest & feel better. No one should have to live with this kind of burden.

    Good luck.

  2. Dear you,
    your siblings are dummy not to include you. From what I can tell you are a wonderful woman with a sweet disposition. I don't know you well enough for the organized part but who cares. I think it's great that someone is organized enough to think that way. Maybe you just intimidate them. You are wonderful. Don't change that.

  3. Hi there Jo-Anne. I tend to agree with SkippyMom and Becca. You do such a lot for your family. They just seem to rely on you for everything, including having you buy cards and pressies for others, when it would be nice if they did it for themselves, even if only once in a while.

  4. I think you need to ease up on yourself! This may come across as harsh, but I feel you may have inadvertently cast yourself as a martyr, because, as everyone else has pointed out, you find it difficult to say no. You feel by doing so, you will let everyone else down, including yourself, so you continue to say yes to all their demands, but feel resentful because they dont value you enough and take advantage of you. You have taken on the role of always being the go to person, the ever reliable Jo-Anne, but now you need to start asserting yourself. Just say no to their unreasonable demands and expectations. They will be taken aback for a time and may even get annoyed, but don't cave into them. You need to start setting boundaries.

  5. I agree with SkippyMom...however Jo-Anne, you come across as a wonderful mother, grandmother, daughter etc.

  6. Hi SkippyMom

    You are so right if I could say NO more often I may not feel the way I do what really surprised me was how this post ended up I just sat and wrote and let a lot just pour out onto the page and ended up seeing myself in a different light.......I think Desiree has hit the nail on the head with her comment. I really need to stop allowing myself to be treated the way I am.........

    Hi Yevisha & Becca

    Yes Skippy and Desiree have really made great points......

    Hi Craziness abounds

    Thank you for the kind words they do make me feel better.

    Hi Thisisme

    I know my family relie on me for a lot and I let them and if I do not want that I have to learn to say NO

    Hi Desiree

    You have hit the nail on the head I have allowed my family to treat me the way they do and have allowed myself to be a martyr and I am the only one who can change that......
    yes I do not like to let people down and have to accept if I say NO or do not do things for them they will cope..........

    Hi Whiteangel

    Thank you heaps for the kind words and support..

  7. There's this amazing scene in the book "I don't Know How She Does It" where this mom prepares for her death from cancer by creating a binder instructing her husband and sons how to go on living. The sheer DETAILS really makes you stop and think of all the invisible ways we keep others happy and moving ahead.
    Your post made me think of that.
    Take care of yourself.

  8. I agree with Skippy.
    Hope you'll feel better soon.
    Enjoy your day!


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