Saturday, 28 May 2011

Hurtful Actions and Words.


I love my daughters but sometimes I feel like nothing I do is right, if I get involved in their fights I am told to but out and if I stay out of it like I did yesterday I am still in the wrong, so damned if I do damned if I don't.

It started yesterday afternoon when my oldest was mucking around and tripped over a cord and disconnected the power cord to youngest daughters hard drive, this resulted in youngest daughter over reacting and going on a bit about her hard drive being damanged. Now at this point I said "she is my daughter and like me she over reacts", oldest daughter took this to mean she was not my daughter..............she then pulled the plug to the hard drive again to be spitful this resulted in youngest daughter grapping the cord and swinging it at her sister and telling her to get out and to f off. As she was leaving she told me that I always take her sisters side and that she hated me..................................

After oldest daughter left I went to the shops for something and while I am there she rings me and goes off telling me she hates her sister and she will never speak to her again and will not come her while she is here and if I want to watch her daughter while she is at work I will have to do it at her place as she will not bring her daughter here ever again. She also said something about putting her daughter in day care so she is not around her aunt if I will not go to her place to watch her.

Now does she not realise that talking like that about her sister is upsetting to me...............when I said as much to her she told me she didn't care if I was upset and that she hated me....................

This morning she calls in to drop something off for her dad and at first she didn't speak to me then she says she wants her sisters stuff out of her place and if it is not gone in 2 weeks she will drag it out and sitting on the roadside. Her sister has a lounge and bed that is being stored under her carport..........................

I heard her demand her dvds back from her sister but her sister wouldn't tell her where they are because she spoke to her in such a hateful tone. I was also told again that I didn't stick up for her and again I said I was staying out of it and she told me that was wrong I was to get involved and side with both of them..............wtf

I told her that yes her sister over reacted but so did she that I felt she was taking it to far and saying hurtful things and she told me she is a vindictive bitch and to deal with it and that she would not be back to this house while her sister is here.

Now not long ago she sent me a text to let me know she was not mad anymore.

11 comments:

  1. what an awful drama for you. I hope things improve soon. Hugs

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  2. Its worth it just to stay out of all future arguments and just watch from the side lines... its hurts but it will stop such accusations happening again.... I'm guessing your husband just pretends he can't hear it all which is why he survive... huge hug.

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  3. it's called tough love they're acting like 2 year old brats so treat em like 2 year old brats. there is NO excuse to speak to your mother the way you described. my mama would've punched me in the mouth, NOT that'd i'd ever even dream of talking to her that way. i'm always shocked when i hear of people treating their parents badly. i was orphaned by 10 and i KNOW what a gift parents are. i'd tell them BOTH now that the anger is abated that the behavior on both their parts was unacceptable. oh and you're doing her a favor watching your grandchild (as much as you love it!) so it should be whereever you choose to do it! sorry you had such a stressful day, sending blessings and prayers your way!

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  4. as you say damned if you do and damned if you don't. this is such a lose/lose situation which will probably work itself out in time. kids can be so hurtful and selfish at times. could they be any more immature? i'm sure as the main babysitter they'll need you before you need them. chin up Jo-Anne

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  5. I would faint dead away if any of our kids talked like that. I get sibling bickering [& hate it] but to be that hateful to eachother and you is so awful.

    I don't know how old they are but I am assuming if one lives on her own and the other was living there for a time they are both over 18 - If that is the case let them fight amongst themselves and stay out of it. It isn't your problem that two adults are acting like 3 year olds.

    Good luck and hugs! Sounds like you could use one. :D

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  6. I have to say Jo-Anne, if you're good enough to watch your grandchild for your daughter you most certainly should not have to rearrange your life because she's mad at her sister. Let her take on the expense of day care if she wants. You absolutely should not get in the middle of this but I know it's hard. You're too nice!!

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  7. Hi all

    I have Sydney-May here today her mother changed her mind and let me watch her here which is better for me.

    Kathy has had a problem with Jessica since Jessica was born and as they have gotten older I thought they had moved past the childish fighting but alas I was wrong.

    I do try to stay out of their fights but they will often try and drag me into it.

    Thank you all for your support it very much appreciated. I would never speak to my mother they way they talk to me and can't imagine telling my mother I hated her but my oldest seems to think it is ok as she will say to me afterward you know I don't mean it mum..........

    Skippy they are age 25 and 22.

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  8. Dear jo

    I have an older sister and believe me all my friends know that we grew up to be worst enemies. I even tore her copy of college graduation photo she gave me, tore a lot of her face out of pictures to erase her. And in college when people ask me how I'm related to her due to similar last names. I said I don't have a sister.

    I honestly can say I thought your kids were still younger

    But to be 22 and 25... Well I'm 23 now. I think my sister stopped picking on me when the time came when my dad was already starting to pick on me as well.

    I figured that during those times why my older sister hated me and always wanted to get me into trouble was probably because my dad always had his eyes on her failures. But when my dad and I started to have so many arguments my sister thought I was a rebel. Lol. But it's not that, I just want to so things my ways

    Well anyway whatever my sister thinks the point is, she became an ally to me now ... And we help each other not to get in trouble yes even at the age of 22 and 30

    I guess I'm saying is that it's normal for sisters to fight at each other. But I guess you also have to know where the sensitivity and irritability is coming from. Maybe because
    Your older daughter thinks you are always on the you gets side? ....

    And maybe next time to refrain it becoming a big fight
    Get mad at them both. And tell them what done was done just say sorry for tripping on the cord.

    Getting mad at them both and tell them to stop fighting would make you atleast look that you are on no ones side and they are both acting immaturely

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  9. Hi Toni Rose

    Yeah these two have always been at each other eldest daughter has always been jelousy of her sister but a few years ago they seem to put it behind them and even shared a house for a while and got on well then but every now and again they will start again.

    I know I was partly at fault with the last fight as I should have snapped at both of them but since I cna not undo what has pasted I will just try to not make the same mistake again.

    Yesterday while the girls where together it was as if nothing had happened and that is what I like.

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  10. Dear Jo,

    yeah.. i think that's the thing with siblings too :))

    one day theyre biting each other and the next day they're bestfriends.

    xx,
    Toni

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