Saturday, 23 November 2013

Decorations, Dogs and feeling like shit......................again...............


Good morning everyone, this morning I have been coughing so much that it like I am going to throw up and I have a bloody headache and body aches to boot, how lucky am I.

Yesterday afternoon I started to decorate my house for Christmas, and also started to do the letters from Santa to my grandchildren. I could pay for letters from Santa but I am cheap and just do them myself………………lol

Today is another wet and overcast day, here down under, and I was surprised when I got up to see that Tim rode the motorbike to work instead of taking the car.

Yesterday Jessica dropped off the dogs at my house while I was out, I knew she was going to do it but I am still annoyed I don't want them here and I would take them into the RSPCA and surrender them but I am really feeling like shit this morning and don't want to do it. I don't know why it has to be me who has to do these things I didn't want them dogs…………….ever……………….but it is me who has to sort them out and make phone calls and surrender them which is very annoying.

There are times when I feel that my girls are all adults now and yes the oldest two manage to do things for themselves but Jessica my special girl (youngest) still expects mummy to sort stuff out for her and make phone calls and such. I am sure if I could apply for jobs for her and go to interviews for her she would  make me do so in order for her to get a job………………………..lol

She is getting better but still I didn't force her to get Dino, it was her decision and she should be the one getting rid of him.

Yesterday my sister asked me if she was getting a personalised calendar for Christmas, she said I have given her one for the last 4 years so she is expecting to get one for next year this Christmas, I hadn't even thought about getting her one at this stage but I will sort it out because that is what I do.

So today’s question at what age do you think your children should be able to do things for themselves such as make phone calls and deal with mistakes like getting a pet then realising you don't want said pet so have to make arrangements to get rid of said pet……………………..Jessica is 24 by the way……………..

Sometimes I think I have mothered her too much………………………..lol


23 comments:

  1. My son started doing things on his own as soon as he was out of high school. He wanted to be able to do things as an adult.

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    1. My oldest daughter Kathy-Lee has always been very independent from a very young age

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  2. I think doing things for oneself has to come on gradually. My kids started when they were in high school and were pretty much on their own when they went to college. I'm sorry, but I think you're letting Jessica take advantage of you. You should tell her that getting a pet is for life.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I may be letting Jessica take advantage because that is how I am, I do feel she will at some point do more for herself as you said it comes on gradually and everyone is different

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  3. I think all kids are different. Some show maturity much earlier than others.

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  4. all kids are different and learn to do things for themselves in their own good time. it sounds like jessica needs a push. it seems to me to be very immature of her to expect you to deal with her unwanted dog. the dog probably just needed to be trained properly in the first place and it wouldn't be a problem. the pounds are full of unwanted pets and are euthanized every day. such a shame and a terrible lesson for children too. just my opinion of course

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    1. I often feel like Jessica needs a push, she thinks I am insulting her with this post which was not my intention. I know that one of the dogs is still only a puppy and should be able to rehoused the other one is much older and I feel he might be put down which saddens me but I am not giving him the love and attention he needs.

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  5. Oh dear, the poor dogs.
    I don't think there is a correct age Jo-Anne. The age your daughter is she in my opinion should be taking much more responsibility for her actions.
    My sons started rather early....at 11 the eldest son found a dog a prue bred (he knew what he wanted) and so he rang the breeder without us knowing, telling us after. He got the dog of his choice and looked after it, I trained it. The dog was put down due to old age and illness in 2008.
    This son always lived at home here as did his dog.

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    1. I know some may think Jessica has done the wrong thing with the dogs and should have taken more responsibility for the dogs but she did what she thought was the right thing by giving them to me to deal with, which I will do tomorrow

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  6. As a single mom for years, raising up my 3 sons, I made them do things on their own because it helped me out. I was burning a candle at both ends. On the most part they do, but yes now that they are living back home, they do always ask me what I would do. And they don't always do what I would do. So I let the natural consequences occur. I hate to but I want them to take responsibility.

    As for Charleen, our learning disabled daughter, I am told by professionals that I must not do things for her. Sure I could do them for her a lot faster,, but it is not helping her out in the long run.

    The dog situation I would totally refuse to do. It's on her.

    It's not easy being a parent to older adult children. They do tend to try to take advantages when they can.

    Hope you are feeling better soon. Hugs!

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    1. I have been trying to get her to do more for herself this last year but I still end up doing a lot of things for her, I do feel she will become more independent as she gets older. I know Jessica was feeling like I was insulting her with this post and for that I am sorry

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  7. Dearest Jo-Anne,
    You already said it yourself; you've mothered her too much -- read 'spoiled'. Yes, parents often want to protect their little ones from the mean big world but they need to grow up and handle life on their own. There are certain situations when e.g. making mistakes, they ought to deal with it and not shoving it into Mum's lap for dealing with it.
    Where can Mum go? There is no place to go for her so this is not fair.
    Poor dogs for being the victims of impulsive decisions that were not well calculated. She might have thought I can always dump them at Mum's place if things don't work out.
    Hugs to you and hope you feel better!
    Mariette

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    1. When she got the pup she did plan to keep it for a long time but she has become more allegic to the dog and can't have it in the house Leo never wants to play with them or have them around him either and she it thinking if she gets rid of the pup now while he is still a puppy he might be rehoused.

      I know she felt I was having a go at her with this post and maybe I was that was how I was feeling yesterday morning but in short I know I have enabled her to be the way she is

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  8. Boys need to learn to fend for themselves. Cook, shop, laundry etc. I taught mine early. That's not to say that he wasn't spoiled anyway. He had me wrapped around his fingers until I moved to South Carolina almost 6 years ago. That was 100% my fault!

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    1. I know I am the one who has created adult children who need their mum for so much still, but it feels good to have a bitch about them from time to time

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  9. I am certainly no expert.....my son just had to come "borrow" grocery moneyl. I would like to go live in a little town and leave no forwarding address. My husband's two boys (I did help raise them since they were very young) are very responsible, but I have to give him the credit for that as he just let them know he expected them to be responsible. I have no advice because I obviously can't take my own advice!

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    Replies
    1. Yeah I am good at giving advice and suck at taking it..........lol

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  10. I have always tried to encourage my kids to be independent but I do find the youngest would be happy for me to do everything for him if I would

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    1. I have a couple of independent girls but even they need their mummy at times

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  11. My kids still live with me, so I'm not eligble to answer that yet! But if they're living on their own, I think letting natural consequences take effect is healthy.
    Love that you write Santa letters to the grand kids--that is super sweet.
    And to get the calendars, too. That is the kind of gift people start to depend on receiving I guess. Such a useful thing.

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    1. I also love writing letters to my grandkids from Santa, I just hope the like getting them. I am glad that my kids have left home at long last.

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  12. It is not that you are cheap.... Creating your own letters makes it more special because you know them like no one else can. Hope you feel better. :-)

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