Monday, 7 March 2016

I am a big ole softie, always have been, always will be, but my girls expect me to change and it isn't going to happen, this is me

Hello everyone it is now late on Monday and I am just getting around to writing a post, this morning I had Summer for a few hours while her mum went to work, looks like I am going to have her most Mondays and maybe one other day during the week. Kathy has decided to pull her out of daycare as she really can't afford it. In fact at times she feels like she is just working to pay for daycare. Summer is no trouble and she loves seeing “uncle Tasha”, in fact when Tasha left today for work Summer sobbed, she didn't even kiss her mum when Kathy left this morning but Tasha leaving really upset her.

I also had to drive Leo to school who isn't a happy little boy at the moment he is in trouble and grounded. This is because on Friday afternoon he wandered off and I was unable to find him, he went up the road to talk to some other little boys, who he said he thought he had met with Blain the day before. He didn't ask if he could go anywhere and I was in a right state because I was unable to find him, also because I had already had a bath and was in my pj's I was not happy having to wander up the driveway calling him. In fact if it wasn't for a little boy who lives in the complex telling me he saw Leo go out the driveway and turn right I wouldn't had any idea where to look. So on Saturday his mum grounded him and then last night he went and stole some chocolate and tried to hide it from his mum and lied about it and all in all his mum added a couple of days to his grounding.

Now she has said to me that he will only spend as much time with me as she needs him to as I cannot be trusted to follow though on his punishment, which is to stay in my bedroom doing nothing when he is here. I said of a morning I do not have a problem with that but if that is how she feels then he shouldn't be here next Friday night, in fact if she says he can come I am going to tell her that I will let him watch TV but that is all. If she isn't happy with that then she shouldn't leave him here, because let's be honest here him being here is usually about her wanting a break more then him wanting to be here.

Oh yeah that reminds me he wasn't suppose to use the internet of Friday night and I told him he couldn't, but when he was here he asked if he could use my computer and I said yet but no internet if he just wanted to go into the paint program and do whatever he does on the program fine but no internet. So he sat at my computer thought about it and after a couple of minutes shut it and went back to watching telly. He did not use the internet but because he told his mum he was allowed to use the computer she thought I let him get online, this really pissed me off as she was saying I was lying.

I do feel that my girls have forgotten how lenient I was with them when they where children, many times their dad would ground them not tv, no nothing for a couple of weeks I stuck to it for the first week and on the second week I would say you can watch a little telly between the time they got home from school till when their dad got home from work. I have always been a softie when it came to discipline so why do they get all pissed off with me now, I have not changed I am still the big softie I have always been.



14 comments:

  1. Abiding by your daughter's rules if they don't match up to your rules is a bit of problem for all parties. I have pretty much told my daughter that while her children are in my house, it's my rules. I would probably decide how to work with my daughter if the boys needed discipline. (I am not a softie, in the sense if they are misbehaving I think they need some sort of consequence). Still it's hard being caught in the middle.

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    1. Yeah when he wandered off on Friday he could tell by the sound of my voice how upset I was and I did make him go to "his" room while I calmed down. I try but it isn't good enough for my daughters well that is how I feel.

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  2. Your daughters take serious advantage of your generous spirit Joanne. Keep up the good attitude, but perhaps let your daughters do their own disciplining. You should be able to have your own rules in your own home. My name is Susan

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    1. Hello Susan, I have decided since I am such a softie I will not have the child in my care while they are being punished for something as take it from me for Leo not being with nanna is a punishment in itself

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  3. I'm with Cheryl as to my house. Right now James is only 1 years\ old. :-) BUT later on, if he is here, he will be a good boy. I was that way with my boys' friends too. My house, my rules.

    I know...I shall shut up as no one asked me. xoxo

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    1. I think the reason generally I do not have a problem with Leo on Friday nights is because he is alone her with me, that said he is getting older and I am expecting to have more trouble as he gets older. I will be telling Jessica if he is here then we need to agree on what punishment and it has to be something I am ok keeping too

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  4. Susan hit that one dead on. She doesn't like it, find someone else to take advantage of.

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    1. Yeah she is onto something I reckon, Jessica and I will need a meeting of minds in the future and that involves not acting like she doesn't believe me when I say he hasn't used the computer. I need to toughen up not just with the grandchildren but with their mothers

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  5. I think you do your daughters a huge favor in taking responsibility for the care of their children on a regular basis. They should be appreciative. Never should they call you a liar or chastise you for how you deal with the children when they're in your care.

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    1. Thank you I think it was the fact that she was calling me a liar that upset me the most, I will either not have the boys when they are in trouble or me and the mother will have to agree on what I can allow and I am not a sit in the bedroom and do nothing type of person

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  6. When we keep our great nieces and nephews we try to ensure they do right, but if their parents don't like how we manage the kids, they can find other babysitters. That's just how we roll.
    R

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    1. As you know I love to take care of my grandchildren but when it comes to discipline I think their mothers can go overboard. They know what I am like and they should respect that and not act like I am always in the wrong

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  7. Daycare is so expensive nowadays, it's crazy. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it when my kids have kids and they want them punished. That's going to be a toughie for sure!

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    1. Yes it is hard at times, and yes daycare is super expensive which is why Kathy has pulled Summer out of day care she needs to cut costs.

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