Ok this morning my daughter rang me and told me that she no longer needs me, no I am not talking about needing me for something in particular but she doesn't need me in general. Yes this was hurtful and upsetting but I tried to hid that I was upset, instead I said it was kind of a good thing because she is becoming more self sufficient.
In truth she has rarely needed me and this isn't the first time she has said something that has been hurtful to me, it is something I have come to expect. As most of the time I feel like nothing I do is good enough.
In fact now days I am only really close to one of my daughters the other two don't seem to need me, one would ring me a lot but she says she doesn't like it when I am on the computer while talking to her, or cooking or in fact doing anything else except talking to her.
I am a multitasker I can do a lot of different things while I am on the phone, but my daughter thinks I am distracted and not listening to her, the truth is that I don't wear my hearing aids during the day unless I am watching telly and this is the reason when I am on the phone I can't always hear what is being said and have to try and guess what was said over asking her to repeat what was said. If I did ask her to repeat herself that would piss her off as well, so I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.
She finds it hard to believe that I like talking to her and enjoy her phone calls most of the time, yes there are times when I am busy and really don't have the time to talk but this isn't all the time most of the time I like talking to her and hearing what my grandchildren are doing.
I love all my girls equally, I have a different relationship with each one of them, just because the relationship I have with one daughter is different from the relationship I have with another daughter doesn't mean I love any one more. I love all of them equally and differently.