Tuesday, 4 February 2014

Sleeping and children or not sleeping at all and feeling tired all bloody day


I am sure pretty much every parent has experience sleep deprivation at some point here are 10 signs you may be experiencing sleep deprivation:

  1. Inability to handle stress
  2. Poor Memory
  3. Inability to Concentrate
  4. Increased Appetite
  5. Vision Problems
  6. Poor Decision Making
  7. Diminished Motor Skills
  8. Relationship Troubles
  9. Medical Problems
  10. Mood Swings

Now if this is a problem you suffer with there is help available so don't suffer in silence, ok let's be honest you wouldn't be suffering in silence you would be letting everyone you come into contact with know you are sleep deprived because you will be in such a terrible mood.

Now if you are a parent of a child that doesn't sleep and you have a partner/spouse than you need that person to be supportive of you while you attempt to get your difficult child into a better sleeping routine.

If they prefer to lock themselves away in a different room so they can't hear the child that is crying and preforming that is only going to make you mad and pissed off with them because you will feel like you are doing it alone. If you are the one who locks themselves away in a different room than shame on you, you need to be helping.

Dealing with a child that doesn't want to sleep is stressful, the easy thing is to pick them up and rock them and try to get them into a deep sleep before putting them back to bed, but that often will backfire on you and because of that it is better to not pick them up but to give them their dummy if they have one and stand and pat their bottom and maybe talk to them quietly in soft voice till the start to settle again, then leave the room and if they start to cry the moment you start to walk away, keep walking shut the door and give them 5 minutes before going back in if needed.

This is not easy I know but it can and does work you may have to go into them many times over and hour or two but if you do this all the time they will eventually start to settle quickly. Sometimes a baby or child will know that if they cry and perform enough they will get their own way. Breaking the patten isn't easy.

It is when you are trying to break a patten or set up a new routine that you need the understanding and support of your partner, it doesn't matter whether the partner is the parent of the child they are your partner and as such they should be supporting you.

My oldest daughter Kathy-Lee was a terrible one when it came to settling her this was from birth and as a toddler we had many nights when she would not want to sleep, even though she was tired. I however, was luck in that most nights I had Tim here being supportive and we would take turns taking her back to bed and she would come out a couple of dozen times a night but each time one of us would take her back to bed. We didn't stay and have long talks to her, we just put her back into bed and leave and 10 minutes later she would be back out again.

As a baby Kathy wouldn't settle either and at first I made the mistake of always picking her up and rocking her and settling her but soon realised it wasn't working because as soon as I put her in the cot she would cry again so I stopped that and moved onto the standing next to the cot and patting her bottom till she settled again than walking out of the room and yes most of the time she would cry as soon as I started to walk away or as soon as I got out of the room but I learnt not to go back into her straight away I waited a few minutes before going back.

I am not going to tell anyone that it was easy it wasn't it was in fact bloody hard and bloody stressful and I had many times when I would sit in the hall way crying and saying I couldn't do it anymore. It was too hard and she hated me and I was a failure as a mother, there was many times when I would get so angry with her I would shake with rage, (me not her) I never shook her but it wasn't always easy I did have to put her in her cot and walk outside for a few minutes to calm myself before going back in and dealing with her again.

I will not tell you either that Tim was the biggest help, because he wasn't always a help there was times when he would be like, “ I have been at work all day and need a rest”. I would think what do you think I have been doing all day sitting around having tea party, yes when he was young I am sure Tim didn't see being a stay at home mother as a real job but some kind of easy life.

I always think it is amusing when I hear about men who don't want to watch their child all day because they have things to do and it will take time away from what they want to do. Women have things to do also but we manage to do most of the things while watching the child or children at the same time. Why do they think it is ok for a woman to have to deal with children while trying to work from home, or study from home as well as doing all the housework and cooking meals and than in the evening bathing children and getting them ready for bed.

Than they are expected to deal with a child or children that do not want to settle and go to sleep but fight and cry.












22 comments:

  1. Maybe men are not as good at multitasking as women are. Or women are better at it because they have to do it all the time--LOL!
    I agree with you. Changing a bad habit is harder than forming a good one in the first place--and consistency is the main thing--even if it is exhausting sometimes. :):)

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    1. I do think many women have multitasking down pat, men have to work at it.

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  2. Favorite Young Man didn't sleep well for years. Then when he turned about 15, I thought he'd never wake up again. The Hurricane was a good sleeper. I had a small lamp in her room that had a night light and a music box. After I changed and fed her, if she fussed, I would turn on the music box and not go back in the room until it finished playing. She usually settled down quickly. I think I was too quick to pick up Favorite Young Man. Using the music box kept me from giving The Hurricane too much attention during the night. Great post!

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Yeah I get that teenages love to sleep, I like the music box idea I might suggest that to Kathy

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  3. Very good information here. I get about 5 hours of sleep a night, and seem to do OK with that. I remember the days of interrupted sleep when my kids were younger- thankful that those days don't last too long!

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    1. I do remember those days as well but I try not too...........lol
      Tim has never needed a lot of sleep, I on the other hand do.....

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  4. I remember when the kids were babies: no sleep, we got up when they got up.
    When they were toddlers: had to get up (early) when they got up.
    When they became children: Even though we still had to get up when they got up, we could fall asleep on the couch.
    When they were pre-teens: they got up before we did. We could sleep in. And got up when we smelled something burning in the kitchen.
    When they were teenagers: they would just as soon we slept in.
    When they were college students: they didn't even live at home. I could sleep whenever.
    When they're adults: We go to bed before them. Or so I've ben told.
    Bottom line: I like sleep, but I miss the little ones.
    The Circle of Life, I'm afraid..

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    1. This sounds about right to me, I was lucky when my girls were in school we could get up and put cartoons on for them and go back to bed for a bit, this was only done on the weekend and I wouldn't go back into a deep sleep I could still here them and what they were doing.

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  5. Ugh. I HATED when the kids wouldn't stay asleep. My middle one would pop out of bed ALL THE TIME. I'd sit in the hall outside his bedroom and read the paper until he'd fall asleep. You don't appreciate sleep until you have kids.

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    1. So true before kids we take sleep for granted and even if you know there will be interrupted sleep you don't get how it will affect you till the time comes and you experience it.

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  6. Very good post. Luckily were are past the point of babies not wanting to sleep. Now it's me that deals with not being able to sleep.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you and I am glad I have never had a problem sleeping as I like my sleep

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  7. Lack of sleep is a horrible thing whether it's from a child that won't sleep, or in my case Fibromyalgia. It has a huge impact on me if I don't sleep. I feel exhausted and out of sorts the next day. Fortunately, my son was a good sleeper and enjoyed bedtime as a toddler. Many of my friends children did not.

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    1. I have heard of Fibromyalgia but didn't know you suffered from it, it is a terrible condition. I had one out of three daughters who was a great sleeper from the day she was born.

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  8. Thank you for writing such a great post. Sleep is important, and those taking care of little ones need to remember to share those sleepless nights so that neither gets too tired. Not easy, I know.

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    1. Thank you for reading, yes it helps when both parents are willing to share the sleeplessness but often that isn't the case

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  9. Very informative! My son didn't sleep well as infant. We later found out it was due to his formula. After he was switched to a soy formula he slept like a baby(pun intended)!!!

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    1. Thank you since Summer is nearly 12 months old she will soon be changed from formula to cows milk so not an issue

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  10. What a great, and informative, post! My son sleeps pretty well, but I definitely have a few nights that I don't get the sleep I need to. I usually just have horrible memory and mood swings all the time though, ha ha!

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    1. Most parents have some nights when a child doesn't sleep, I am pleased you liked the post

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