Sunday, 2 February 2014

After 30yrs we are comfortable together


Tim and I have been together for 30yrs, we are still in love and enjoy each others company but recently he was at a doctors visit and the doctor asked him about our relationship after Tim telling him a bit the doctor had the hide to say that we don't have a real marriage it is more like a de facto relationship.

Just because we don't have a lot interests in common, such as hobbies and during the day/night when watching telly we often watch two different shows, Tim will go to his office and work at his computer and watch his own shows and I will be in the lounge room and use my computer and watch my shows.

However when we go away on holidays we don't fight and enjoy doing things together I am into museums more than Tim is but that said he also doesn't mind wandering through some museums.

So yeah we have different interests but after so long together we are comfortable with the differences and we are happy and as I said still in love. I don't think two people need to spend all their time together doing things together.

So here is my question to all do you think two people who are in love and been together for 3 decades need to do things together all the time, or do you think it is normal to spend time doing different things at the same time enjoy your time together when you go away on holidays.

There are times when we sit and watch telly together as there are some shows that we both like.



24 comments:

Beth said...

That doctor is full of beans! Most happily married couples do have many different interests!

CWMartin said...

"had the hide..." I would have put that a different way, but it would have been NSFW. He must think his Med School diploma says, "To: God" to be able to diagnose 30 years of life after a few questions.

Rita said...

You and your husband's personal opinions are the only ones that count--at all. Nothing wrong with living outside the box!! ;)

Dawn Saros-Kirk said...

I can't believe that doctor said that. If both of you are happy that's all that matters. And it's good for people to have their own interests.

whiteangel said...

Wonder how long that Dr. has been married?
Everyone is different, it's lovely to do things together, but it's also good to have your own personality with your own ideas, and do your own thing if you want.

thisisme said...

I totally agree with you on this one. My husband and I are the same as you and Tim when we are at home, and we've been married 37 years. I would think it weird if were in each other's pockets all the time. That Dr doesn't know what he's talking about!

Shelly said...

We've been married almost 30 years here, and we enjoy doing many things together, but there are things he does, like hunting, that I am not into at all, and things I do, like watching musicals, that he is not into. I think it is good for each couple to develop some individual interests to continue growing as people.

Bubbles said...

If you know you are happy together thats the main thing. In my culture all the 'grown ups' had arranged marriages. I hardly know of any that haven't lasted and we are all on completely different wave lengths.

Janie Junebug said...

I think it's good that you can be together or go your own way. The important thing is that you're both happy.

Love,
Janie

Cheryl said...

I think the doctor has his head up his ass. Each marriage is different. If you and Tim are happy and enjoy the way you live your life...everyone else can shut the hell up about it.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I agree the doctor was a young fella so hardly and expert on couples who have been together for so long

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I was being nice, when I said "had the hide", he is a young new doctor who has a lot to learn about long term loving relationships

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

That is how I feel was are still very much in love and enjoying being together as much as we enjoy our time alone

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I agree and we are happy.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Since he is only a young bloke I am sure he has not been with anyone for 30yrs

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I am please to read that everyone thinks the doctor doesn't have a clue what he is talking about, it did make me wonder if we were strange in some way, even though we are happy with our marriage

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Thank I agree, I don't see anything wrong with doing things together at some times as well as have different interest as well

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Well we are happy, our marriage is strong and our love still strong neither of us can imagine life without the other

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Yes I also think being happy and in love is important more important than doing everything together

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Thank you I do too, I guess to me it is normal as my parents have been married for 53yrs and they have different interests while at home but enjoy doing things together when they go away on holiday

Heidi Fuqua said...

It sounds like you have a good relationship to me. You allow for each other's differences, and do things together. It's worked for 30 years so it must be good.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Yes it is good and it does work

Rose Marie B said...

Hi Jo-Anne,
I think it's totally healthy for couples to have different interests, activities that they do apart from each other and hobbies that they share. Not everything works for every couple but finding what works for you is the key. In my marriage, when we compare ourselves to others, we're most proud of the fact that we are friends, we actually like each other and we can spend time in silence and be totally comfortable with it. 30 years is a lot to be proud of girlfriend! :)

Rose Marie B in OKC

Mynx said...

The doctor is an idiot if he thinks that two people must do everything together to have a good strong marriage.
Having different hobbies is what makes my marriage work and gives us stuff to talk about

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