Saturday, 5 April 2014

Being a dad

So I have already written about what it is like to be a mum something I know a bit about but now I am going to write a little about being a dad something I don't know anything about since I am not a dad, but I am going to write about my thoughts on being a dad from my point of view.

I don't think many men think about what it would be like to be a dad from the time they are boys like girls do, a little girl might think about being a mum one day but a little boy think about being a dad I don't think that would happen very often.

When a girl/woman tells the man in her life she is going to have a baby he might be happy about the news of he might be indifferent to the news but as the baby grows and he sees her swelling belly and can feel his unborn child move and kick his excitement will grow.

Now I know when my three girls were born Tim cried each time when he saw his daughter being born and he so loved holding them just after they were born, with Kathy I was so tried by the time she was born that it was Tim who held her for over half an hour and she laid in his arms just looking at him, the bond between them was forged during that half hour. Kathy has always been a daddy's girl.

Men often do not spend as much time with their child as mum does, it is just the way it is although that said my brother David wasn't like that when his son Dawson was only 4 days old he brought him home with him and from then on Dawson would spend 4-7 days with his dad and then the same with his mum, now of course Dawson lives with his grandparents but that doesn't mean his parents love his any less in fact he lives with his grandparents because they love him.

Anyway let's get back to the topic which is fathers, men usually don't spend as much time with their child as the woman does, we don't think anything is wrong with it we don't seem to think men need to interact with their child as much as the woman and I don't get it, I know it is just usually the way it is.

We expect the man to go out and work to support the family and when he gets home from work at the end of the day we think it is normal for him to want to relax for a while before the children annoying him, however, when a woman goes out to work when she gets home she is expected to see to the children and start the evening meal she can't sit down and just relax for a while.

I think a lot of the time a man will be more hands on when it comes to playing with the children, they will chase and tickle and play horsey but they only do it for a short period of time. The woman may not play horsey or have tickle fights but she is interacting with her children for a longer period of time, again that is just the way it is.

When a man works for home he will say things like keep the children out of here I am working, or can you see to the children I am working, when a woman works from home she will also see to the needs of the children and work around them often doing a lot of work after the children have gone to bed when it is quiet and she can work uninterrupted.

I know we often hold mothers to a higher standard then we do fathers and that is wrong in my opinion, it takes two to have a child and both parents are important in a child’s life.

There are many fathers raising their children alone, but we rarely hear about them, it is usually the mother raising her children we hear about and it is her struggles we think about but when a man is raising his children on his own he still has struggles.

Why is it that when a woman says she would like to stay home and just care for her children we think that is normal but if a man was to say he would like to stay home and care for his children we would think that unusually and some would think it is not normal, why isn't it normal men love their children just as much as a woman loves her children.

Fathers are important


Coffee Lady said...

Yes! Good Fathers are a blessing and I was blessed to have one of the best.

Dawn Saros-Kirk said...

How sweet your husband and daughter had that half hour of bonding time after birth. I like what you said about Dawson living with his grandparents because his parents love him. Yes, fathers ARE important.

diane b said...

My son in law looks after the boys while my daughter goes to work. He cooks the meals too and does the washing but not the best at cleaning the house. It is not their choice they would both prefer it the other way around but he isn'r getting much work so she had to et a job. It does mean that the boys will bond well with their dad.

CWMartin said...

"I know we often hold mothers to a higher standard then we do fathers and that is wrong in my opinion". Nail on the head right there.

Barb Pinion said...

What a wonderful post. Great food for thought. I'm so glad I am able to follow you. Have an awesome day.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I think I had the

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Thank you, I get annoyed when I hear people put fathers down

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

It is good that your son in-law can stay home with the children while his wife goes out to work, some men are stuck in the 50's and think a woman must be the one to say home.

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Thanks just saying how I feel

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Thank you this is how I feel and I think fathers are under rated

Mariette VandenMunckhof-Vedder said...

Dearest Jo-Anne,
Those things and feelings are just set by society and we all seem to be brainwashed in a way. Of course Fathers are as important as Mothers are and I do happen to know one couple where the Father is staying home to raise the child. Why not?
Often there is a lot of stress on the men, they carry the burden of having to provide for their family and also they put in their weight of raising the children and getting along with their wife and the Mother of his children.
I've once written a poem about My Daddy - Papa and I did sum up a lot of things that means something to me. Here it is: {My Daddy - Papa}
You can just click the hyperlink.
This is a good thought provoking subject and you are blessed having a loving and caring husband and Father for you children!

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

I went and read the poem and so liked it, I am one of those people who have always thought my dad knew everything and could fix anything he has always been the smartest man I know. My brother stayed home and looked after his daughter Liarna when his wife went back to work when she was only 6 weeks old because his wife earned more money and it made more sense for her to go back to work then my brother.

Now it's dads turn

Guess what, yesterday morning my sister Sandra rings to let me know she had to ring the ambos for dad, he was having trouble breathing an...