Ronald Francis James

Ronald Francis James was born 10th October 1925 in Wickham. He served in the Airforce during WW11, he had to enlist twice because he was underage and the first place realised he was underage and kicked him out so he went somewhere else and enlisted again. He had a fake birth certificate saying he was born on the 10 April year unknown.

He married my grandmother Florence Torrens Townsend on the 28 December 1950 at a church in Hamilton. My mum was 10 at the time and she always considered him he dad and not her step father. Mum and him had a close relationship for many years. Yes there was a time when my girls where young that he wanted nothing to do with us but that passed and he in fact didn’t remember that time during the later years of his life.

He and nan had only 1 child a son Francis.

Up until the 8th June 2010 he was living at his home with my grandmother who has Alzheimer’s and was taking care of her. He would also walk to Charlestown Square and home a couple a times a week.

On the 8th he went to the doctors and was sent to hospital for tests and never went home again. He was diagnosed with Asbestos Cancer which is an aggressive cancer

He passed away on the 4th November at 4am. His funeral was held at St Albans Church in Charlestown.

He was known to his grandchildren and great grandchildren at Poppy James.

May he rest in peace.

Sue

Sue with 3 of her kids


Those who read my blogs may remember me writing about when my sister Sue got married and that I said I didn't understand why two people who fight as much as her and her husband fight would get married.

Well she has moved out and is back living with mum and dad and I do have to say that she seems happier then she has been in a long time.

She has taken up with a new man who is a relative of her husbands can't say I think he is much to look at but then I am not the one who has to look at him. I believe her children have mixed emotions about her being with this new man.

I think we as in her family have to realise that it is her life and she is the one she has to live with her decisions. We may not always agree with the choices she makes but they are her choices to make not ours.

About Kathy

I'm worried about my daughter Kathy-Lee she is so exhausted from taking care of Sydney and working every day. The only reason she is working every day is because the boss is on holidays and she is in charge while he is away to make matters worse she has to do stock taking while he is away and has to have it done by the end of the week.

Today when she got here she walked in and started throwing things around in frustration and crying all I could do was sit and listen while she cried and cried and said she wants to quit her job and she can't do it anymore. I told her if she wants to quit then to do so if she thinks she can get by on just centrelink payments. She has never been one to like working so much although most of the time she does like to work just not every day.

Since having Sydney she has said she would like to be able to do nothing but stay home and look after Sydney. Just like her mum in that way all I ever wanted was to be a full time mum.

I really don't like seeing Kathy so upset and feeling useless as there is nothing I can do to help her.

Blain

Natasha took Blain to see an eye specialist a couple of weeks ago and found out that he needs glasses and that he has a turned eye and will need an operation to fix it. She is pissed off that when she took him to see an eye specialist a couple of years ago she was told that he had a lazy eye and now it seems that has never been the case. There is a 2 year waiting list for his eye operation.

Now to the dramas with his arm the last time they saw the specialist about his arm they where told that there maybe something wrong with his growth plate in his arm. They will know more after his next visit; it seems that it’s one thing or another with my darling boy.

Moved Again

Last Saturday morning my daughter Kathy-Lee moves into a flat at Gateshead above the shops, she has lived on her own since she was 18 but came home when she had Sydney-May, however, since Syd is now 6 months old she feels it is time to move out and be on her own again. I think she will be fine most of the time naturally there will be times when it all seems to hard, but that is normal and her family are only no more then 10 minutes away. The worse thing about her living on her own is that she has a habit of ringing me 3 or 4 times a night often it is one call after another.

The flat she will be moving to is next door to where we lived when she was a baby. I hope she will be happy there. She is stoked that she got a place before her ex (Syd’s father).

Proffesional Photos

During the last month my eldest daughter has had some professional photos taken of Sydney-May and although the photos are great and look good it really gets me how much these places charge for photos.

At one place she paid $1400 for the photos that included 4 A4 size photos and 2 A3 size photos and a cd with all the photos they took on it. At the other place she paid $300 for the photos and a cd which only had two shots on it. I am not sure how many photos are in that pack as she hasn't picked them up yet, but really it seems to bloody much to me.


I would love to have a large family photo done for my parents 50th wedding anniversary but at the prices they want we just can't afford it. Although my sister said her husband knows someone who may be able to do it cheaper she has got to get him to ask his friend.

Deaf?????????

Ok I'm deaf...........lol, well not quite but last Tuesday I picked up my hearing aids and they guy who fitted them for me said they are easy to get in just pop this bit behind your ear and this little bit goes down into the ear..............easy.

No.....not easy for the love of me I can not get them in, well not the way he said my dad suggested I do it the other way around placing the little bit down into the ear first and then put the other bit behind my ear. That is easier but I still have trouble with them.

In fact I have had so much trouble I feel they are more trouble then they are worth.....I know they are not but still I can't help how I feel.

Work

Hubby is working away this week since he is doing a 6am to 8pm shift he has decided to spend the week in his van to save petrol, it's a good thing he hadn't sold it yet. We have been talking about getting rid of the van for a few months now but as yet we have done nothing about it. He hasn't found another job yet he is just driving buses doing whats called "rail" work while there is track work being done.

Kathy told me that she will be doing an extra day at the servo from next month but at the moment she has no idea when she will go back to woollies, I have told her to take it one day at a time. She is still looking for a place of her own but is in no hurry to move as she likes having a dishwasher and Foxtel and me to let her have a nap or sleep in when needed.

This is Home

My precious number one daughter said last night she thinks she will put off moving out of home till after Tim and I come back from our cruise in October which is fine with me, as I am in 2 minds over her moving out.

I do like having her here most of the time and not only because she is the one who does most of the housework. I genuinely like having her here most of the time, there are times when she gets drives me crazy but most of the time things are fine.

I love having Sydney-May here watching her grow and will miss her when they do move out.

Both Tim and I always say this is their home and they can come and stay whenever they like..........

Oddly enough when I first married Tim he didn't understand that I said my parents home is my home but now that his daughters are grown he does as he always says this is their home no matter how old the get.

Lost Job

A week ago Tim had a accident at work in the truck he was following his GPS and it sent him the wrong way as soon as he started to make the turn he realised that he couldn't go done the street at it was a small weight restricted road and when he tried to back out he got stuck all in all it was a nice mess and to make matters worse he did some damage to the truck. The following day he had to go in and do a report about the accident and the next day he was called into work and told he had lost his job.

So now he is unemployed and as like the last time he lost his job he is working all weekend driving buses which is good, he has already started looking for another job. I don't think he will be out of work long.

Wet Wet Wet and Sydney

Boy have we had some wet weather it has stopped today so hopefully the yard will dry out some, Kathy parks on the front lawn and so does Jes when she comes to visit as we don't have enough parking spaces so we don't like it when it rains so much turning the lawn into slosh.

Sydney is sick and I'm not much better yesterday Sydney slept all morning until her mum got home from work and then she was more awake then asleep till 11pm, think part of the problem was that Kathy would pick her up when she would start to whinge where as I would have waited until she started crying. I offered to help her last night but she snapped at me and told me to go to bed which I did.

So this morning I let her sleep while I got up with Sydney, I do try to help as much as I can but it isn't always as Kathy can get short tempered at times but I have not been getting upset by her behavior like I use to.

She is still living at home with me and Tim and isn't sure she when she wants to move although when she is in a mood she wants to move but when things are going good she isn't in a hurry.

Broken Arm

My grandson Blain had an accident on Wednesday the 14^th while at day care, I had dropped off his cousin Leo but forgot his pillow so came home picked it up and went back and as I arrived back I heard someone say “she is here now”. I then went and spoke to one of the women who works their and she told me that my other grandson Blain had fallen and hurt his arm.

I went to see Blain who was sitting on a chair in the play area with his arm in a sling with an ice pack, I was told that he had jumped off some of the play equipment and hurt his arm. I was also told that they had rang his mother(Natasha) who told them that he had hurt the same arm when he fell down the stairs at his mothers the day before, so they thought I should take him to see a doctor.

I used their phone and rang my oldest daughter (Kathy) and told her to ring our doctors and tell them I was taking Blain straight up which I did he was seen by Dr Keyworth who said he thought it was broken and to take him straight over to the John Hunter Hospital which I did. He was operated on the following morning and had a wire and pins inserted in his arm.

Now is only that was the worst of it but no not the case on Friday 23^rd Natasha took Blain back to the John Hunter Hospital so they could check his arm and what is discovered, his arm is badly infected and he was rushed back into surgery where they removed a shit load of infection. He has been operated on again today to remove even more infection and so far everything looks good he will be now be in hospital for another week.

As you can imagine I have been very worried about him and have shed some tears over him. Although when I told Tim that he had to have a second opp he didn't seem to care just saying well there is nothing we can do about it.

I did go and see him yesterday afternoon but since Kathy drove us over we couldn’t stay very long as she didn’t want to stay saying that Sydney was getting hungry and tired and she wanted to get her home before she got to upset.

I Need Help

I need help, how do I get out of thinking of myself as a victim? I am always putting myself down and I don’t know why I do it. I never seem to think I am good enough and I worry a lot about letting people down.

Is it because I am often in the line of fire when my girls lash out? Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that my husband rarely listens to me and has a habit of walking away while I am talking to him, although he does it to other people as well. I think also the fact that Tim keeps putting off getting a car that I can drive doesn’t help and yes I know that I tell him it is ok but I don’t deep inside it isn’t but I never seem to be able to tell him that. I think the fact that when we discus it he will go one about how little money he has and how he wants to save for this or that and I agree with him but somewhere inside me I think what about me.

I don’t like what I see when I look in the mirror as I am overweight and most of my clothes don’t look good on me, well that’s how I feel and honestly I have no idea whether that is true or not. As lately I have a habit of doubting myself.

I never use to be like this and I don’t like this person I want to be the old happy Jo-Anne who liked herself.

Kathy just said to me what do I like about myself but I have no idea what I like about myself anymore.

I would love to know what others think is my best feature.

What I do know is that my girls will most likely not read this as they are not interested in reading my blogs, they really are not interested in a lot of the thinks that interest me. Even when we go shopping I often get the feeling that they once we do what they want they are ready to go home and again I say nothing.

Step Parents

A couple of weeks ago at Sunday lunch I brought up the subject of step parents as I have a problem at times with how Lucas talks to Blain and I wanted feedback from others to get a picture if I was wrong or being to sensitive about the hole thing. I did feel like I was being attacked and that I was in the wrong for feeling the way I did.

I know that step parents usually have good intentions meaning their hearts are in the right place but I have watched Dr Phil a lot and he always says that step parents shouldn't discipline their step children so I guess that is one reason why I have had a problem with Lucas. Sandra and Dave made a point of letting me know that they thought I was wrong well that is the impression I got.

I would have liked mum to tell me her thoughts on the subject as she was a step child and she may see things differently. However she didn’t get a chance as everyone else seem to cut her off. I was going to ask mum about it later but never got a chance, maybe I will remember to do so at some point but I have a terrible memory lately.

So I will have to learn to deal with my thoughts about step parents and discipline as I said if they love the child they are doing what they think is right and if the natural parent is ok with the step parent disciplining their child then that is what matters not what the grandparent things or feels.

Thought of the Day

Don't live in a house live in a home.

Thought of the Day

Life is easier if you hear the steps of grandchildren walking beside you........................

Thought of the Day

Don't dwell on the past it archives nothing

Thin or Happy

I have decided that I would rather be happy then be thin, yes it would be good if I could be both but no matter how hard I try that doesn't seem to be something that is going to happen well no time soon. I know I am a lot bigger then I have ever been before but no matter what I try I can't seem to slim down maybe I am not trying as hard as I could.

I just find that I get down when I feel like I can't eat what I feel like and I know I am exercising n I early every day and lately I am eating a lot of fruit in fact I have never eaten so much fruit as I am now. I
would love to have my sister Sue's body she looks good although she will tell me that is because she can't afford to eat some days not sure how true that is, what I do know that at times I look at her and think why can't I look like that. Then there is Sandra who has always had a good figure, oh well maybe one day right now I think it will do me more good if I just start to think positive and be happy with who I am.

I have to tell myself that my family love me just the way I am.

Not A Hoarder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not a hoarder, I do not care what my children say they are wrong keeping things of sentimental value is not hoarding.

I cam home today to find my kids and hubby having a clean out and they had thrown out some things I wanted to keep and when I went through the stuff they had chucked and picked out a few things I didn't want to get rid of.

Right now hubby is going on and on about stuffed toys we have he wants to chuck them out and I said no they are not his and his daughters still want to keep them and I don't care what he says he is not throwing them out.

No matter how much stuff I agree to get rid of we have a clean out 2 or 3 times a year it is never good enough. I am so over hearing them say I am a hoarder. When Kathy watched the show Hoarders she had to admit I am not one but that didn't last as she has gone back to saying it again.

Sydney-May Joanne

On the 22nd my first granddaughter was born at 7.41pm weighing 6lb 5oz's and she is such a cutie.

The only one with Kathy for the birth was bubs dad Chad, I was there earlier but at 6pm Kathy told me to go home as it would be hours before bub would be born and that they would ring me when it was getting closer and I could go back. Well so much for being hours as it was only 1hr and 41min later that Cookie was born.

She has been named Sydney-May Joanne and after much discussion between Kathy and Chad it has been decided to give her Chad's last name.

She looks so much like my niece Temika they really do look like twins.

Yesterday was my mums 70th birthday and we had a surprise party for her, it was held at my brothers place and there was around 30 people there not as many as I had hoped as some didn't turn up even though they said they would come that is annoying when they do that.

It went well until my sister stormed off because our brother said something to her about drinking his grog.....she didn't bring any of her own and only put in $50 towards it both me and Dave paid out around $300 each.

When mum arrived and saw everyone she started to cry as all her children where there 10 of her grandchildren also 3 great grandchildren. I was happy that my sister Jeannie came as she has a habit of not bothering to come to family functions.

Me

I am so trying to tell myself that I am a beautiful person and that I will lose weight if I keep trying although it is not so easy to keep trying as I hate and I mean hate writing everything down that I eat but I am doing it mostly to make my hubby happy as he is always going on at me about how much I eat and what I eat.

I am exercising every day I do love my WII Fit but he (Tim) complains that I am not walking enough, sometimes I feel like nothing I do is good enough. So I do find it hard at times to stay positive.

I want to say thanks to everyone who left comments on my Facebook page.

The New Year and Tim's Family

Well the new year is here how did everyone see it in? I was in bed by 10.30pm went to bed after seeing the 10pm fireworks from my back yard, yes I said my back yard we are lucky enough to be able to watch them from our own yard I like sitting in my own yard in my nightie watching the fireworks. That way we have our own toilet and can go to bed straight afterwards if we like which I usually do, I'm not one for staying up late anymore a sign of my age I guess.

We had Tim's brother here that night and on New Years Day Tim took him into a mens hostel in town as he was fed up with him being here but both of us had the impression that he wanted to stay here but that was not going to happen. We do feel sorry for him but we do like having the house to our self now days.

We have never had much to do with Tim's family as they have always treated him terrible and I can't really be bothered with them. Tim's father told him years ago that he wasn't his son and to f off and not come back and we haven't. Apparently his brother Wayne isn't talking to his father either but Tim doesn't know why.

A few years ago Tim told me when he dies not to tell his family, I don't know what I am going to do when the time arrives.