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Yesterday I walked home from the Dr's sounds simple doesn't it but didn't turn out that way.I walked from the Dr's surgery to Warners Bay Road not sure how far that is but can say it took me 15mins anyway since the next bit of the walk was either up a steep hill or around some dangerous bends on the road I decided to catch the bus part of the way and get off when I got to the bit where it is all down hill.
The bus came I jumped on then realised it didn't go the way I thought, I wasn't really bothered just thought it was one that went all round the mulberry bush before it go to where I wanted. Not so I ended up in Belmont and had to catch another bus back to Warners Bay.
Well I finally managed to get back to Warners Bay and had to walk up a semi steep hill which I though was going to kill me.......lol
I finely got home 2 ours after I left the Dr's and I can tell you I was stuffed, I was gasping for breath my chest felt like it had a dead elephant on it and the pain was just so bad it went right through my body and part of me felt like I was dying............lol
Just after walking in the door Jessica started she wanted to know what was wrong with me, but this wasn't asked in a caring, worried way but an angry annoyed way.
She said I came home in a bad mood but that wasn't the case I was in fact pleased with my self for making it home. Just because I was unable to speak and was in so much pain that I didn't want to deal with her and Leo.......she wanted me to feed Leo straight after I walked in the door, well that was the impression I got.
We had a big fight and I ended up tell both her and Natasha who was here for whatever reason to get out of my house, they both thought I I was talking to the other one. Natasha did leave in a bad mood but at the time I didn't care.
In fact I ended up having a mini melt down..............
This morning I had another one..............lol
Yep I lost it when 10 minutes after I got out of bed Natasha turned up to just hang out, I told her she could hang around if she liked but when Jessica went out she would have to leave too, that she didn't like but I was like I don't care when Jes goes out I want the house to myself so I can exercise for a bit and just have some time home alone. Before she left she wanted money from me for smokes and me being the softy I am gave it to her then went to my room and cried as I only got paid $45 from Centerlink and she wanted $20 for smokes. I wanted to be stronger and say no but I don't know I just can't seem to do it.
Lately life just seems so hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Poor Jo-Anne you are having a bad time of it at the moment.
ReplyDeleteSometimes your girls sound like they take you for granted. I can't believe they couldn't see that you were in a bad state after your travel ordeal.
You are a softy.... you should tell them no more money unless they show more respect, and stick to your guns.
Have you told the doctor that you are stressed? Try to get some help.
Diane.....My girls only see what they want at times, I did tell Tasha if she can't go a fortnight without asking me for money for smokes how does she think she is going to be able to afford another car.
ReplyDeleteYep the doctor knows I am under a lot of stress I was seeing a counselor but she said last time I saw her that if all I wanted was someone to talk to then she didn't think she could help me anymore as I can always talk to my mum. So I haven't bothered to go back to see her.
There are times when I wish I had CCTV in the house so they can see how they treat me..........
sounds like my daughter at times. she can be very selfish and uncaring. very self centred. i agree with Diane, you are a softy, but, having been there myself i understand. have you heard of tough love? a councillor (spelling) told me about it years ago when my daughter was at her worst. very hard to carry out though. good luck and try to be nice to yourself. Fran
ReplyDeleteHi Fran
ReplyDeleteI have heard of tough love but like you said it is often easier said then done.
I have my moments when I am strong and say no and then say to myself that she (daughter) will get over it when she wants something.