Sunday, 11 December 2016

An untrue but funny story

Ok saw this on Facebook, don't believe it happened but it did give me a giggle so thought I would share here in case others would like a giggle.

While conducting some business at the Court House, someone overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, “Your Honour, I’m guilty, but…..there were extenuating circumstances.”

The female Judge said, sarcastically, “I’d certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances.”this is her story.

Your Honour, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, “Hi! I’m Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?”

I’m thinking, “Belinda, try decaf. This ain’t rocket science.” Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, “Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?” Fine, I answered.

I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4-inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!
Complete darkness, the power was off!

Belinda said, “Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag.” Then she headed for the door.
Excuse me! You’re not leaving me in this vise alone are you?” I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, “Oh, you fussy puppy…the door’s wide open so you’ll have the emergency hall lights. I’ll be right back.”
Before I could shout NOOOO! she disappeared.

And that’s exactly how Bubba and Earl, “maintenance men Extraordinaire” found me…half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging a polite, 'Hi, how’s it going' type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, “Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway.”

OK, you take care now,” Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I’d been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin.
Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, “Oh, I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?”
And that, Your Honour, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps….”

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said, “Case Dismissed!”


Janie Junebug said...

Oh, no! That's too funny. The last time I had a mammogram it was much easier because it was done digitally. Three quick photos with very little squishing and no waiting to see if they shots came out okay.


Joanne said...

Hilarious!!! Have a great day!
Blessings, Joanne

Rick Watson said...

That is funny. I would have done the same thing :)

Cheryl said...

Funny for sure. I agree that it's not a true story but funny just the same.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

Yes I think it is so funny indeed I have had a couple of mammograms and yeah they are easy to do

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

I thought so

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

Yeah I agree

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

Yes these stories are funny and if we know they are just that a funny made up story then all is good

Rita said...

LOL! Probably not true, but funny and sad anyways.

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...


Update on mum

After getting up this morning and throwing a load of washing on to wash I get a phone call from Sandra just as I was thinking of ringing...