Tuesday, 2 October 2012

A Fat Failure....................Not Really..............





I think I am fat ok I know I am fat and it took me a long time to get used to being fat, my grandson Blain often calls me his “fat nanna” and Little Leo will tell me I am “round” as his mum told him it is not nice to call people “fat”. Now this bothers my daughters when they hear their sons saying such things but I think they are just being honest and telling it how it is.

I am happy with me I know I am a good person and have a good heart and I try not to be spiteful and nasty but I am also larger then I have ever been but that means there is more of me to love. Children often tell it how it is so I do not understand why some people get so upset with children, if a child says something that can be seen as mean or nasty then the parent to talk to the child and try to make them understand that it is not nice to say such things. As my daughter does with Little Leo she tries to get him to understand that some people may be hurt by being called “fat”

I also have a problem with thinking negative things about myself like I am a failure as a mother, this I think is brought on by being put down by one of my daughters, I know she doesn’t mean it but she does have a habit of saying things that make me feel like I have failed or let her down in some way.

When she is pissed off with me she has a habit of calling me “mother” with such a tone that applies that I have done something wrong. It is easy to think negative thoughts they seem to come so much easier than the good thoughts, why is that?

25 comments:

  1. we have made our life choices and we must live with them. only we can make positive changes and be responsible for them. you are not responsible for your daughter's choices/opinions. they are adults now. feeling like a failure because someone is putting you down is silly. it's their problem, not yours. sounds like you need more 'me' time and to be kinder to yourself.

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    1. I know I am not responsible for my daughter she is a grown woman and has her own mind, but sometimes her actions do hurt me......

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  2. Dearest Jo-Anne,
    Through reading your blog, I think you are the world best mother(*^_^*) I sometimes feel sad that I and my late brother couldn't make my parents grands, I wish it doesn't make me a failure for them. I hope we can lead our lives the way we can do best, my dear Aussie friend.
    Lots of love and hugs from sis-city in Japan, xoxo Miyako*

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    1. I don't think your parents ever thought of you or your brother as failures not everyone can be parents it is the way God wants it that doesn't make anyone a failure just human.......You are a good wife and great friend and I am sure you were a wonderful daughter and sister and those things are so important.

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  3. Jo-Anne, Don't think of yourself as being like what you wrote. You a wonderful the way you are, as I see photos that you post of yourself. You are cuddly, and isn't that good, better than being like a bean pole (which some people can't help).
    You haven't failed at all, you are a great success :)

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    1. Yes I am wonderful and yes I am cuddly and no I wouldn't want to be that thin I have a daughter who is a tiny thin girl and I worry about her being so thin although she told me the other day she had put on weight and wasn't happy about it the girl is a size 6 to 8........

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  4. you should sit your daughter down and talk to her about this..........as for the kids i'm with their moms on this one it's disresctful to point out the negatives in anyone. but especially grandma! if you let them do that they'll do it to others as well and think it's ok, you know i'm not pc but i grew up gay in alabama (the south) and was tormented and teased every day by kids who thought it was ok to call me fat, faggot, etc etc and it's damaging no matter who says it. appearence shouldnt matter anyway as far as it goes , i'm sure kids mean no harm, but think how you'd feel if someone called them ______________ (anything negative) and upset them, you'd rip someone a new one (deservedly so!) lol wow sore subject for me i guess! bright blessings xoxoxoxo

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    1. A little bit of a touchy subject for you I think my friend...........lol When the grandsons call me fat I always say but you love me anyway and they will give me a big hug and say of course nanny but why are you fat I tell them it's because this is the way God wants me to look right now.......

      I have to say it I hate that word "faggot" I mean really hate it, it is a disgusting word and it makes me angry that you were called it.......

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  5. You hit the nail on the head when you said you are happy with you are. There are so many rich, super thin, super models who haven't an idea of who they are, nor do they have the love you have in your life. That's where the ral treausure lies, in what you have, my friend.

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    1. Well I am happy with me this is how I am I may not be slim and hot but I am a wonderful, caring person and that is more important then being slim and hot.....lol

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  6. Jo-Anne - ever one is telling your right. Don't cut yourself down because you wills tart to believe it about yourself. You are good the way you are - we all are.

    Now my daughter can get that way too. I think she has not yet taken responsibility for her own life and some things have happened that have made her bitter. She needs to hopefully see the light and change herself.

    We can only change ourselves.

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    1. I know we are the only one who can change ourselves but sometimes it is just so frustrating with me precious daughter.............sometimes she doesn't think before she speaks......lol

      Yes it is hard to stay postive and not say negative things to myself but I am trying......

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  7. My mom always called it "pleasantly plump". And if it made her pleasant, who was I to argue?

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    1. I remember my nan using the term "pleasantly plump" also and my nan is one of the pleasantest people you would ever meet.......

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  8. keeping your opinion of yourself in higher esteem than the opinion of others, is a key to living a happy life

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    1. Yes it is, it is just so hard some times but I am trying

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  9. Oh I truly think the words be happy with yourself and do not worry about what others say or think.
    Our Children can say things that they do not mean just to get a reaction they do grow out of that eventually, especially when their children do the same to them they then realize the pain. I am positive you have nothing to blame yourself and feel guilty about. Be happy and forget the doubt I know it is hard but you must. HUGS B

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    1. I have always thought my daughter would out grow the speaking without thinking stage but when oh when will it happen she is 27 after all.......lol

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  10. Jo-Anne, I wish my mom had the ability to be there for me as often as you are there for your kids. You are there for them all the time, you are there for your grandchildren all the time and I find you amazing! You rock!

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    1. Thank you my mum tried to be there for her children but it became easier once she stopped working and she is now there whenever we need her, which I guess is were I get it from......

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  11. Hi Jo-Anne. It is good that you are happy with who you are. That's the main thing. I agree with Orchid above, we all know that you are such a super mum to your children, and they are very lucky to have you. You should be proud my friend.

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    1. Thank you I am the best mum I know how to be and I do try to be there for my children whenever they need me

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  12. I guess we just want the best from our kids, for them not to say what may be mean things. It could very well make someone unhappy or sad if a kid calls them fat. But you're right, kids tell it like it is and well they don't always remember what's right and wrong. I wouldn't get mad at them for it, or get upset about it really. Just talk to them and remind them hey it's not always a nice thing to call people that. It's never really nice to call things like that. Keep that going lady, you're an awesome lady. NO matter what!! :)

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    1. You are so right I will often tell my grandkids that this is how God wants me to look right now.

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  13. I prefer to think of myself as "fluffy"--LOL!
    We all wonder about whether we were good parents or not. None of us is perfect. But funny how out of several kids in the same family one can be miserable and the rest are okay. More a personality thing? Who knows? But none of us can go around blaming all the problems in our lives on our parents or a bad relationship or whatever. If we do, then our life will never change.
    You're okay!! :):)

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