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Hi
all, how many of you have had a melt down due to a dirty, messy
house?
I
think many of us have at one time or other, I know I have.
When
my daughters where little I had many of them, it was the norm for me
to have to ask, tell, demand and yell for something to be done in the
way of housework.
I
in fact yell this fact to my youngest daughter only today, she rings
here after her dad tried to ring her to ask if she was coming for
lunch and she was crying and he wasn't sure what the problem was he
knew it had something to do with Leo so he gave the phone to me and I
listen for a moment and told her I would be there in 5 minutes.
I
get to her place and she is going off her head at Leo because the
house is a mess, she had a real melt down saying she hated the house
and why was she the one always having to clean the house , why
couldn't Leo clean his room and help her clean when she asked. I
said because he is a child and like most children he has to be told
over and over to do stuff and like many mothers she has to yell to
get the child to listen and take notice.
I
also told her that she is the mother, she is the one who is
responsible for cleaning the house and if she cleaned more frequently
maybe the house wouldn't be that bad. I also told her she said the
same things about the house in Swansea so it isn't the house it is
that she doesn't really like doing housework and yeah Leo is terrible
when it comes to helping. Also she has a habit of sleeping in and
then complaining that Leo is up getting into stuff while she is still
in bed.
We
all know that yelling isn't productive but many of us end up doing it
in frustration, I did it more then I liked but when I would calm down
I would tell the girls I was sorry about the melt down and Jessica is
the same she will have a melt down and when she has calmed down she
tells those she went off at that she is sorry. She said sorry to me
this morning as well as to Leo, after she went off she felt bad for
going crazy.
Now
let us talk about Natasha she also had a melt down yesterday about
the state of this house, but this house isn't that dirty or messy,
the problem she has is that I don't clean the way she likes. She goes
off about not doing mess and not cooking in a messy kitchen and so
forth I said that I clean up all the damn time. I always pack the
dishwasher she said she doesn't use the dishwasher she prefers to
wash by hand and I said I know that and I am ok with that but I
always make sure the dishes are in the dishwasher I pack it and I
unpack it.
I
do not only mine and Tim's washing I often hang her clothes and
cleaning clothes on the line for her as well as getting them off and
some weeks I vacuum two or three times other weeks I do it only once
a week and even then I don't do it good enough for her. I have told
her is I don't do it good enough she if free to do it herself but
stop complaining that I am not doing anything when in truth I am not
doing it the way you like and that is the big problem.
Natasha
did, however, tell me she was sorry for her melt down and didn't mean
to take things out on me.
So
melt downs have been happening here the last couple of days.
I too had my melt-down moments. I was working, trying to handle the housework on my own, cooking for the family, having to do everything on my own. Those were difficult days and with regrets I couldn't spend enough time with my boys.
ReplyDeleteSo true women do most of the housework and cooking it is just the way it is for most women and that means at times we have meltdowns
DeleteI fail to understand why either girl doesn't just take responsibility for themselves. I'm not the best housekeeper but I also don't wait for Laurie to pick something up that I can do myself. How do they expect to fix any problem that comes into their life if they have such a hard time lifting a finger on little stuff?
ReplyDeleteYeah I hear ya, Natasha is better then most girls as she is a clean freak her problem is I don't clean good enough or often enough for her, Jessica well she just doesn't like to clean and I have told her in the past that if she doesn't want to do it she needs to budget to hire someone not related to her to go and do her housework.
DeleteI am not prone to meltdowns as I am a pretty "calm" type of personality but I have been frustrated a few times when my children were small about them picking up after themselves. I typically would pick up their way-laid stuff, put it in a basket and hold it hostage until I made my point. I found that yelling just set a bar that would require me to yell more the next time. I just never found yelling effective.
ReplyDeleteAs for, you not cleaning up to someone's satisfaction. What??? I don't get that. I am an excellent cleaner/housekeeper but I probably clean differently than my daughter does. I never clean her house EVER but her house appears spotless. I would never expect her to help me clean my messes nor should I ever need to clean hers.
There has to be a point when grown children are GROWN. They shouldn't expect your hands-on help nor should they be telling you how to behave. (in my opinion)
I hear ya I don't think I should have to clean Jessica's house but have done it a couple of times because she makes out it is too hard, like really. I feel if she doesn't want to clean she needs to budget so she can pay someone to clean it for her
DeleteAh. I worked long long long hours and on a rotating days/midnight shift routine with plenty of overtime hours for 26 years. The boys did so beautifully in school that I didn't fuss too badly about the state of their rooms although sometimes I would stand over them on an off day I might have, to make them clean up. It is picking your battles. They were well behaved and did great in school so I decided I would do the picking up and cleaning and be grateful for what I had.
ReplyDeleteYeah I get picking your battles and yelling and screaming like a banshee achieves nothing in my opinion it just makes the child tune out
DeleteYou are welcome to come here and clean up any way you want. I promise not to complain one bit. LOL I've had those melt downs over a messy house. But I tend to do that when I've been holding in frustrations. When they come out, YIKES!
ReplyDeleteYes I think being frustrated over other things can make a messy house seem worse then it is and the job of cleaning it too big when in fact if you spent an hour each day cleaning it before you know it would be clean. I think I might suggest to Jess that since she doesn't like to clean she should set herself a time limit like an hour and after the hour is up either say ok enough for today or continue. I used to do that with ironing as I hated ironing
DeleteI've had meltdowns from messes, but not too many when my children were young. They were very good helpers. When my son became a teenager, he turned into a slob, and he's a slob now at age thirty-six. I can't stand it. My daughter was always very neat and clean. My house is a mess now because I had to take everything off the walls while the new roof is put on to make sure nothing fell off and broke. The good part is that when I put it all back up, I can give each frame a thorough dusting and clean the glass that covers photos and most of the artwork.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I think many of us have had these meltdowns the job is to realise that it is your house and you are the one who has to clean it or in the case of Natasha accept that if it isn't done to her standard then do it herself and stop complaining
DeleteThanks Jo-Anne but my mom isn't sick. She just said kitties would make good nurses. xo
ReplyDeleteThe why did I get it into my head that she was sick, maybe it is because I am doing so many things while trying to blog things like pack school lunches clean the kitchen and nag the boys to get dressed for school
DeleteI rarely have meltdowns because of household cleanliness.
ReplyDeleteThat means someone in this house is a slob.
I suspect it's me.
Well you are male and more males then females are suppose to be slobs, not the males in my life but I have heard that
Delete