Monday, 13 August 2012

Be Your Child's Parent First And Friend Second.....



I often see things on Facebook like this and save it to use as the basis of a blog post. This struck a chord because many people now days seem to want to be their child’s friend more than their parent, don’t get me wrong I think a you can be both a parent and a friend but when you child is young or a teenager they need you to be their parent first and their friend second. 

Really being your child’s friend should come as they grow into adults and become parents themselves, my mother is my best friend but she wasn’t so in my teens back then she was my mum. She was the one who kept me in line and gave me guidance and support and discipline, I never ever spoke back to my mum it was just not done……………

Now I think part of the reason teenagers now days don’t always treat their parents with the respect they should, is because they think of their parent as their friend and treats them as such.  I like to think that I am I both my daughters’ mother and their friend but I also want to be their mother first and their friend second.

22 comments:

  1. i think you can be friends but the respect has to be there and kids should KNOW the limits acceptable. i adored my mama she was the best friend i ever had but it never occured to me to backtalk or disobey?? WHY is that allowable??? you're a good mom your family is blessed to have you!

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    1. I agree, friend to an extent is fine, as long as you are still willing to draw the line.

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    2. Yes the respect needs to be there but for many young parents now days it doesn't seem to be there at all and their children run amuck........and thank you being a mum is all I ever wanted to be....

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    3. Both you and Timothy have my philosophy down to a 'T' (hmm... I really should look up the origin to that expression). I hope there was never any doubt that I was my kids' father first and foremost. I "friended" them on Facebook (they were the only children I did friend on Facebook-I thought anything else was a little creepy) only to make sure I could see what they were posting. I never commented on their posts (to maintain an almost "invisible" status) but if they put something up which I deemed objectionable, it was gone. If they objected, their Facebook accounts were gone.

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  2. Replies
    1. I am happy you agree but not surprised

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  3. I couldn't agree more, Jo-Anne. To many people worry about hurting their kids' feelings instead of disciplining them and then they wonder why their children don't respect them. Duh!!

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    1. Yes parents should be able to hurt their childs feelings and be strong and lay down the law, that way kids learn that there are rules and laws to follow and they can't just do whatever the want whenever they want.

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  4. My sister and I were talking about something similar to this today... parents who let their children do what they want because they are living their dreams through them... basically what they felt they couldn't do they have no boundaries for their children which results in them wanting even more.

    We knew what was expected of us but I doubt my mum will ever be our friend as she likes to discuss our situations with other people.

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    1. I also like to talk about my girls, and how proud of them I am along with how bloody annoying they can be at times......lol

      Yes some parents need a good slap across the back of the head and to wake up and see they are raising rude and dissrespectful kids......

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  5. Well said, Jo-Anne. This is so true. So many parents, these days, want to be their child's friend, and you just can't do this whilst they are little ones or teenagers. Although it can certainly come later of course. I agree with you entirely!

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    1. Yes the friendship between a parent and child should happen as the child grows into and adult, but not as a child or teenager then they need a parent to lay down the law......

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  6. I love that saying. It's so true. Life is a balancing act.

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    1. Thank you it is in my opinion a very true saying......

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  7. I'm a believer in being the parent--bottom line. Mutual respect and friendship and open communication--but, bottom line, I was Mom and it was my job to guide him until he was an adult so I also definitely believe in tough love. I started teaching him to make his own decisions when he was a toddler, but he had to accept the consequences. We are still good friends. Parenting is a tough job. You love them and you do the best you know how. Great post!!

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    1. Yes I agreee with you parenting is a tough job and yes it would be easier if we just gave in and said yes all the time but is not the best thing for the child..........

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  8. Well said. It's hard to add anything else of value :)

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  9. Dearest Jo-Ann,
    Oh, yes!!! So true. I think my late mother sure was my parent first and also a best friend♡♡♡
    Lots of love and hugs from sis-city in Japan, xoxo Miyako*

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    1. Yes it is great when our mother becomes our best friend it just can't happen when we are teenagers

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  10. I agree. Mother first. Friend second.

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    Replies
    1. Yes if more women act like the mother first and the friend second then children will grow up with more respect

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